Tales oF the Absurd, Original Satire, Politics & News Commentary

Category: Gun Violence (Page 1 of 2)

May 12, 2017, The Pulse Nightclub Massacre One Later, A Message Of Solidarity!

May 12, 2017, The Pulse Nightclub Massacre One Later, A Message Of Solidarity!

Forgive me for being so blunt. I noticed that most everyone is calling the shootings at the Pulse Nightclub, An LGBTQ Nightclub in Orlando, Florida one year ago a “tragedy” and it certainly was. However, it was also a “massacre” of 49 innocent people and injured at least 53 others.

This horror was inflicted upon these innocent people during a popular “Latin Night” by a sub-human monster armed with a military-style assault rifle. that I shall not name because he doesn’t deserve to be remembered by name.

This monster who shall not be named continued his shooting spree for Three Hours. Think about that for a moment! Three fucking hours of absolute terror, death and life-threatening injuries. I can’t even imagine the horror that these innocent human beings had to endure not knowing if they were to be the next to die.

I like to think that I would be strong in a situation like that, but in all actuality, I don’t even know if I would still be sane after experiencing a trauma like that. These survivors, friends and family are amazingly strong, and resilient, and these are the true heroes.

Pulse Nightclub Memorial 2017

As with a lot of us, I did not learn of the Pulse Nightclub massacre until the next morning. In my case I learned about it on my local NPR public radio station.

As the hours and next few days unfolded we learned all the details and personal stories from the survivors as well as the friends and family members of the deceased. With each story, I cried, with each name of the dead was revealed, I cried and felt a little more numb. A piece of my soul died along with all the victims of this brutal senseless massacre.

Then the trolls and religious fanatics started with their horrific bigoted, and homophobic comments. Then I got mad. who were these perverted monsters? and where was their basic humanity and compassion for another suffering fellow human? My soul died a little more, and my heart broke all over again and I actually felt ashamed and disgusted to think that such hatred could exist in our supposedly liberal society.

But then something amazing happened, in the face of tragedy. The tributes, the support, stories of heroism and personal stories of survival and acts of courage came rushing in like an unstoppable tsunami. The American people mobilized with offers of unqualified assistance and support for the survivors, and the families of the deceased.

This is the United States and the world that I believe in. When tragedy occurs, compassionate human beings rally to offer whatever aid and comfort, and assistance in whichever way they can. This is the basic humanity I believe in.

I believe in humanity and I believe in love in which ever form it comes in. And that’s the way it should be. I have always been an ally of the LGBTQ community. Any real compassionate human being would also be as well.

Am I a Lesbian? Obviously not

Am I Gay, No! not at all, as a matter of fact I am as heterosexual as they come.

Am, I Bi-sexual, Nope!

Am I transgender? Certainly not.

Am I Queer? No, not at all.

But that is not the fucking point. What I am is a compassionate human being who believes in human and civil rights. I believe in love between two consenting adults not matter what form it takes. after all, love is love.

I have known several people who identify as gay or lesbian. I have known bisexual and transgender persons as well. Some are still with us, and some have passed away. No matter what their sexual orientation may be, I have always been proud to call them my friends. Some of the most amazing, talented, intellectual, gifted and artistic human beings I have ever met identified just so happened to identify themselves as gay. For the ones who have passed away, I miss them dearly. For my friends still living I look forward to many more years of friendship, and the love and bonds we have created together.

I am an ally of the human race!

Just know this, As a fellow human being, I love you all. For those of you whose lives have crossed with mine, no matter if you are young, old, LGBTQ, or something else entirely, I hope that we will have decades more of friendship, and adventures still to come, For those of you who I haven’t met yet, and should we ever meet in the future, I will embrace you as my friend and fellow traveller in this only life we have, and I welcome you as a friend.

You see as for me, I only judge people by only one of only two possible categories. You are either an asshole, or you are not an asshole. Please don’t be an asshole.

To all the friends and family of the people killed in the horrific nightmare of the Pulse Nightclub massacre, My heart breaks for your loss. Words can never express what you all are feeling right now.  For those 53 people injured, You are all far stronger than me and I look up to you for the heroes that you truly are. You inspire me to be a better human being.

I love you all.


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson.


Florida Man Tells Police His Dog Shot His Girlfriend

Florida Man Tells Police His Dog Shot His Girlfriend

Note to my readers: I was having a bout of writer’s block for a few days when suddenly this headline popped up and snapped me right out of it. I’m back now!

The story you are about to read is true, the names have not been changed to protect the dumbasses involved, This is their story.

Jacksonville, Florida. – Police received a 911 call from 25-year-old, Brian Murphy around 11:05 p.m.  Murphy reported that his dog had just shot his girlfriend.

I am going to just let that sink in for just a moment. It’s O.K. I can wait. (I am going to imagine the theme music on the game show Jeopardy when the contestants are writing down their answers down during the final jeopardy round).

O.K. times up. At 11:05 P.M. Jacksonville, Police responded to a home where a shooting had just occurred. Brian Murphy answered the door and reported that his girlfriend, one Summer Miracle (Yes, that is her real name) had just been accidentally shot in the leg by their dog, Diesel while she was asleep in bed.

Seriously, so far, The Jacksonville Police are actually believing this story. Really, you can’t make this stuff up.

Let’s look at the fact’s as we know them so far, and then you can be the judge.

Upon arriving at the scene of the crime, Brian Murphy told the responding officers that he and his girlfriend, Summer Miracle, were sleeping, when Diesel, the dog woke him up wanting to go outside.

When Diesel and Murphy went back into the house, the dog led the way into the bedroom, he said, according to First Coast News and multiple other news sources.

Brian Murphy reported that he then saw a flash and heard a bang. He told police he thinks Diesel the dog,  jumped up on a nightstand, somehow, causing a gun on it to fire. The bullet from Murphy’s gun hit Summer Miracle in the leg. Murphy told police he covered Miracle’s wound with a towel before calling 911.

Seriously??? This is the only story he can come up with, a modified version of the tried and true, totally unbelievable, the dog ate my homework excuse?

Also, what dumbass keeps a loaded gun on the nightstand with the barrel facing towards them?

Let’s look at the facts as I see them, of course, since this is my story, these truths, are the only ones that count.

First of all, I have previously written about how various wild animals are beginning to turn on us, especially squirrels, crabs, etc. but not dogs. No, never man’s best friend, the faithful and beloved dog. Man’s best friend would have to have a really good reason to turn upon him or a loved one.

I have a dog, his name is Homer. He has never, ever, tried to kill me, not with a gun or any other type of weapon of mass destruction. Sure, he periodically gets mad at me and pees or craps in the house, he steals food, or shreds paper towels, to try and annoy me sure, but to actually try and kill me, I think not at least not yet.

So, here’s a 25-year-old guy who for whatever reason goe’s to bed stupidly early and suddenly gets woken up from a dead sleep, because his dog, Diesel needs to go outside.  This very fact alone should raise red flags.

Seriously, what 25-year-old guy goes to bed before 11:00 P.M. anyway. Hell, when I was 25, I specialised in 4-5 hours of sleep, per night, in between working full time, and partying late into the evenings. Not that I could do that now, Oh No!, but it was fun while it lasted.

So, Brian (and I will refer to him by his first name since he isn’t here to defend himself) wakes up because Diesel the dog want’s to go outside.  (Now, mind you by the photos I saw on-line, Diesel the dog >looks like a purebred Rottweiler which is a really large breed of dog).  

Brian get’s up out of bed and takes Diesel the dog outside, so Diesel can do his business. Upon completion of his dog duties, Diesel the dog comes ru back inside and “precedes” Brian into the bedroom.  According to Brian, he then saw a flash and heard a bang before he could even get to the bedroom himself.

According to Brian, he thinks that diesel the dog jumped onto the nightstand where his gun was sitting and accidently fired the gun, striking his girlfriend, Summer Miracle, in the right leg.

But was it an accident? could Diesel the dog have actually decided to commit premeditated murder?  Let’s explore that possibility.

Diesel the dog’s plan was brilliant in its sheer simplicity, Diesel the dog, woke up Brian on the false pretence that he needed to go outside to do what dogs do, then quickly do his business and rush back into the bedroom, jump up on the night table and fire the loaded handgun that Brian had so carelessly left there. The plan was perfect, except for the fact that Summer Miracle did not die, she was only wounded.So, evidently, Diesel the dog being unhappy that Summer Miracle was taking up the space that Diesel the dog felt was rightfully his, decided there was only one course of action.  Diesel determined that the only rational course of action was to kill Summer Miracle, so he could rightfully reclaim his rightful place on the bed. Sounds perfectly reasonable right?

This sounds like a perfectly logical line of reasoning right? Are you kidding me? I don’t fucking think so.

What are the chances that an 80-100 pound dog would contemplate premeditated murder and somehow manage to stick his over-sized paws into the trigger guard, aim the weapon, and fire the gun, in an attempt to kill Summer Miracle? Any statisticians out there help me out, will you? the odds have to be astronomical right? Or are they?

Summer Miracle, claims that she was sound asleep, and has now idea how she was shot. Besides, Diesel the dog has never, ever, exhibited any sort of homicidal tendencies prior to that fateful night.

So, the facts as we know them are, Brian left a loaded handgun on the night table barrel facing towards the bed…. Check!

Brian, a healthy 25-year-old male, and his girlfriend, Summer Miracle were both sound asleep some time considerably prior to 11:05 P.M. ….Check!

The news reports made no mention if the Police inquired if drugs or alcohol was consumed by either Brian, Summer, or Diesel, the dog prior to the shooting incident…Check!

So let’s recap the three possibilities presented to us for how this crime was committed.

  1. Brian feeling trapped in a bad relationship felt compelled to kill Summer Miracle. Brian got Diesel the dog out of the house to avoid any eyewitnesses, made his way back the bedroom in the dark and shot Summer in an attempt to make it look like Diesel the dog did it. The only reason Summer Miracle is alive today is either she moved in her sleep while Brian was letting Diesel the dog out, it was dark, and quite possibly Brian is a really piss poor shot. It could also be a combination of the above.
  2. The other possible scenario is that Diesel the dog is a killer and actually tried to murder Summer Miracle. After all, dogs are very smart and very sneaky. It’s possible that Diesel the dog was harbouring a deep-seated resentment of Summer Miracle because Summer had displaced Diesel’s usual spot on the bed. Diesel having been relegated to the cold hard floor at night hatched a plan to get rid of Summer Miracle once and for all. After having studied the gun and how to fire it, Diesel hatched his plan to pretend to have to go outside, race into the bedroom ahead of brian, shoot Summer Miracle. Obviously, everyone would think it was just a tragic accident and nobody would be the wiser. However, the plan failed.
  3. Or, Brians story that this was strictly a freak accident, and Diesel the dog did, in fact, jump up on the nightstand and accidently shoot Summer Miracle

All three scenarios are possible, so I leave it up to you to decide for yourselves.

If you wish to weigh in on any of the scenarios or propose your own

Let me know, and I will add it so we can all debate it together.

In the meantime, I would suggest that if you have a dog, you may want to keep all loaded firearms or other potential weapons locked up just in case. You can never be too safe.

As Always,

I Am…..

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

This article is satire and news commentary loosely, O.K. very loosely based on actual events.


Terence Crutcher, Another Innocent Black Man Killed. This Has To Stop!

Terence Crutcher, Another Innocent Black Man Killed. This Has To Stop!

Warning this article contains videos of graphic violence as well as inappropriate language.If you are easily offended, stop reading now.

On September 16, 2016, in broad daylight, The Tulsa, Oklahoma Police murdered an innocent unarmed black American. What the fuck is wrong with our country where this keeps happening. This has to stop and stop right now!

Let’s look at the  facts. According to News reports this entire incident started when Two 911 calls brought officers to the scene about 7:30 p.m. Friday.

The 911 caller from a woman who told the 911 dispatch that an abandoned vehicle was blocking the street and a man was running away, warning that it was going to blow up.

Warning that it was about to blow up?  What kind of bullshit is this? And how the fuck would she know that? Was it on fire? Did it have a big sign on it that said “I am a bomb?”

Certainly, I would have thought that the 911 dispatcher would have asked similar questions or was it the fact that a large black male was involved, somehow the answer to all these questions?

The second 911 caller reported: “Somebody left their vehicle running in the middle of the street with their doors wide open,” the caller said. “The doors are open, the vehicle is still running. It’s an SUV. It’s in the middle of the street, it’s blocking traffic.”

The second 911 call doesn’t sound anyway nearly as sinister.

There are several mechanical issues that could cause your car or SUV’s engine to still run,  but could still be dead on the road. Transmission troubles, Drive shaft issues, universal joints, rear differential issues, brakes locked up, etc.

Allegedly, according to the first officer (A female police officer) who arrived on the scene, she wasn’t even responding to this particular call, she was supposedly heading to a domestic violence call and she just happen upon the scene.

This statement raises a lot of red flags to me. If this Police officer was on the way to a domestic violence call, which is fairly serious as many people are seriously injured or killed in domestic violence issues every year what would stop for a vehicle stopped in the road? This statement requires a lot more investigation to confirm its validity.

According this Police Officer, She asked Crutcher whether the car belonged to him but got no response, the attorney said. Crutcher began walking toward her with his hands in his pockets. She politely asked Crutcher to take his hands out of his pocket while they were speaking. “He does comply and puts his hands out of his pocket, and then puts his hands up in the air, which she thought was a little bit strange under the circumstances,”

What is so fucking strange about this? All you have to do is put yourself in a black males shoes, and it would become perfectly clear why he would raise his hands up in the air. Many black males have been killed by Police Officers all over the country for far less offences than an SUV stopped in the middle of the road. I actually think that this was a good move on his part.

Once again, according the Police Officer, Crutcher continued to ignore Shelby’s questions about the vehicle and at one point walks toward the back of the police cruiser and puts his hands back in his pockets, the attorney said. Shelby called dispatch and was intent on arresting him because she thought he was under the influence of something, he said. She drew her gun and ordered Crutcher to get on his knees, which he refused to do, Wood said. He instead walked toward his car.

Sometime after or during this a bunch more Police Officers arrived upon the scene.

OK, only a few years ago, this would have been just another case of the Police Officers word against another dead man, who couldn’t speak for himself.

But in this age of cameras and video, we have an entirely new perspective. Here are two videos posted by the Tulsa, Police Department, that show an entirely different story.

Warning these videos show graphic violence. 

The First video, is from a Police helicopter flying overhead. The pilot can be heard saying that he looks like a bad dude, referring to Terence Crutcher. So the Police helicopter pilot flying overhead, can tell that Terence Crutcher is a bad dude.

Here’s a photo of that “Bad Dude”with his twin sister.

This undated photo provided by the Parks & Crump, LLC shows Terence Crutcher, right, with his twin sister Tiffany. Crutcher, an unarmed black man was killed by a white Oklahoma officer Friday, Sept. 16, 2016, who was responding to a stalled vehicle. (Courtesy of Crutcher Family/Parks & Crump, LLC via AP)

. (Courtesy of Crutcher Family/Parks & Crump, LLC via AP)

Terence was certainly a big dude, but he doesn’t look scary to me. Exactly what doe’s a “Bad Dude” look like anyway?

Here is a photo of a really, really, bad dude. He is arguably one of the most despicable Americans in modern times. Doe’s he look scary? Doe’s he look like a bad dude?


This is Timothy McVeigh, The Oklahoma City bomber. Oh wait! He’s not a black male is he?

What the fuck doe’s a bad dude look like anyway?

The videos clearly show that Terence Crutcher has his hands up in the air, and he was obviously unarmed. Furthermore, he posed no threat whatsoever to the Police Officers arriving upon the scene.

{UPDATE} The Tulsa Police claimed that they thought that Terence Crutcher was going to reach for something inside his vehicle. 

Thus is an outright lie told by the Tulsa Police Department. Terence Crutcher could not have possibly been reaching for something inside his vehicle, because his hands were up in the air, and more importantly, the windows on his vehicle were closed. This is clearly obvious on the video.

Another thing that strikes me as strange. Since when does a vehicle stuck in the middle of the road deserve, or warrant such a massive police response anyway?

The Police did note that no weapons were found on Terence’s person or vehicle. Considering that Terence’s hands were up and he was no threat who gives a fuck if he has 274 weapons inside his vehicle and 7 weapons hidden upon his person. He was still obviously no threat to the police, considering that his hands were up in the air.

The Police Officers statements, and the videos obviously don’t match reality.

In the end, Terence Crutcher lay on the ground for two entire minutes before the Police came over and started rendering aid, by then it was too late. Terence Crutcher would die from his gunshot wounds.

Evidently, the female Police Officer needed comforting more then the man laying on the pavement with his lifes blood flowing out of him until he had no more to give..

The State of Oklahoma, and the U.S. Justice Department are investigating this case, as well they should.

Did the Police over react out of fear?

Did this tragedy occur because of underlying prejudice?

Was it intentional?

Was it an accident?

Was it something else?

All these questions need to be answered and answered soon. Terence Cruthcer’s family and friends deserve an answer, The State of Oklahoma deserves an answer, And the entire American public deserves an answer as well.

For all those conservative right-wing nuts who call Black Lives Matter (BLM) a hate group, this is a smoke screen and couldn’t be further from the truth. I don’t remember them standing for the injustice of unarmed black males being killed by Police Officers at a ratio of 3:1 over white males. They said the same thing about Martin Luther King Jr. as well. They were wrong then, and they are wrong now.  Get over it, just because it may be uncomfortable for you, doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Black Lives Matter stepped up and brought this injustice into the light. The rest of us need to stand up, pay attention and give all the support we can offer. This is not only the right thing to do, It is the American thing to do. We are all human beings and color has literally nothing to do with anything.

Lastly, for all the wing nuts who try to co-opt the Black Lives Matter message with such fucking nonsense as “All Lives Matter”, or “Police Lives Matter”, or whatever else, they are missing the entire fucking point.

Try telling the Susan G. Korman Breast Cancer Foundation that “All Cancers Matter”

If “All Lives Matter” was such a huge concern, why isn’t everyone, literally everyone, out in the streets, in mass protesting lack of affordable healthcare, poverty, lack of a living wage, injustice, and whatever else that affects all of us?

This bullshit has to stop, and it has to stop right now! If the black community doe’s not trust the Police, and the Police do not trust the black community, there will never be any justice or peace.

Don’t you get it? As a society, if one segment suffers, we all suffer. This would all stop literally right now if all Americans, Young, Old, Millennials, White, Black, Hispanic, Asian, Native Americans, Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists,  and and everyone else in between took to the streets and peacefully protested, as well as contact their elected officials, and actually got involved in local matters. The message is simple in it’s simplicity, Just demand equal justice for all.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not Anti-Police, not at all. There are many, many, outstanding Police Officers across the country that go way  above and beyond the call of duty. These fine Police Officers deserve to be acknowledged and rewarded for their fine work.

However, There is a such thing as the “Blue Wall of Silence”. The blue wall of silence, also blue code and blue shield, are terms used in the United States to denote the unwritten rule that exists among Police Officers not to report on a colleague’s errors, misconducts, or crimes, including police brutality.

All it takes is for there to be only one or two bad cops on the entire police force for the community they serve to perceive that all the Police Officers to be bad.

If you see something – say something, should apply to Police Officers as well. Believe me if they did, their lives and everyone else’s life would be a hell of lot easier.

People, this is really stupidly obvious….. Some people should not be doing certain jobs, especially ones that requires you to carry a firearm and enforce the law.

If you are xenophobic, racist, bigoted, trigger happy or drunk with power, you should not be a Police Officer. Just as certain personality traits would preclude you from being a doctor, soldier or lawyer.

Seriously, think about that for a minute.

Whatever happened to the motto of Police Departments everywhere, to protect and serve?

{UPDATE} District Attorney Stephen Kunzweiler announced on Thursday, 09/22/2016, “In the matter of the death of Terence Crutcher, I determined that the filing of the felony crime of manslaughter in the first degree against Tulsa police officer Betty Shelby is warranted,” Kunzweiler said.

As Always,

I Am,

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

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