An Open Letter to 2016, You Suck!
Well 2016, we had such hopes and dreams on December 31, 2015, that you were going to be a great year, the year that changes everything for the better. We celebrated you as we always do, and what did you do? You turned out to be a dark malignant evil cancer on mankind. What did we ever do to deserve this sort of treatment anyway?
For no particular reason, that us mortal humans can fathom you took some of our biggest celebrities from us for no reason except that we humans loved them so much.
DAMN YOU 2016, I am glad that you are ending soon. The list of people you took from us is long and totally uncalled for;
David Bowie – Seriously, 2016? WTF is wrong with you? What did The Starman ever do to you anyway? We loved David Bowie. He was our inspiration to keep on living, and you maliciously took him from us. Young, old, we all loved David Bowie. The Starman was supposed to be immortal, and you took him from us just for spite. For this I say, Fuck You 2016!
We loved David Bowie so much that over 1000 musicians simultaneously performed one of his songs live! Now, this is a Rockin tribute!
Prince – Seriously 2016? Prince too. One of the great guitarists ever and he had a lot more to give us. For Gods sake, he was only in his 50’s in the prime of his life.
Muhammad Ali – Even though he was old, and suffered from Parkinsons disease, This was still no excuse. I sincerely hope that he finds you, and knocks you into oblivion. I will laugh and applaud your suffering.
Leonard Cohen – 2016 you really went too far with this amazing human being. Did you know that Leonard Cohen took two years to write hallelujah? That’s right and he still felt that it wasn’t perfect. He was one of the most important songwriters and unique vocalists that the world had ever seen. 2016, may you burn in hell for taking this one.
Leonard Cohen was so inspiring that a 10-year-old, severely autistic girl, Kaylee Rodgers, broke through her barriers and sang “hallelujah” with the voice of an angel. Don’t even think about harming her 2016, or I will personally hunt you down, and kill you slowly. If you think I’m kidding just try it.
Author Harper Lee – The author of “To Kill a Mockingbird” Just when she released her original prequel to her classic, you killed her too. Thank God, your days are numbered.
George Michael – Haven’t you harmed us enough already? He was only in his 50’s as well. He was never one of my personal favorites, but a lot of others really liked him. Fuck you 2016. You deserve to die a slow and agonizing death.
Carrie Fisher – Every Star Wars fan that ever lived will come after you for this one. Even though I am not a fan of Star Wars, If I see you hiding somewhere, I will certainly point you out to them and watch with satisfaction as they tear you limb from limb. This is for David Bowie, you bastard.
There were many others as well. But this wasn’t the only horrors you brought upon us 2016, Oh No! You were not satisfied with these people at all. You had to bring death and destruction on a large-scale as well;
- The Orlando nightclub attack which killed 49.
- Suicide bombs in Istanbul which killed 45.
- The Bastille Day truck massacre in Nice, France, which slaughtered 77.
- The Brussels airport and metro attacks which claimed 35 lives.
- And most recently the Christmas market attack in Berlin.
And don’t even get me started on how you orchestrated an Authoritarian, bigoted, xenophobic, misogynistic, racist as the new President of the United States.
Not to mention, Brexit, the rise of far-right political parties, Russian hacking of the elections, mass migration of millions of political and war refugees, genocide, Syria, Yemen, South Sudan, Iraq, Turkey, bigotry, North Carolina, and countless other atrocities.
According to Astrologers, you were supposed to be the “Year of Compassion”. What happened to you 2016? Instead, of compassion, you turned out to be the year of death and destruction.
In conclusion 2016, we will not mourn your passing, we will celebrate your death as we would any other two-bit Dictator. You are as dead to me as any other despot that ever lived. 2016 goodbye, and good riddance to you.
May 2017, redeem your sorry ass of a year and hopefully lead us into the light of goodness that you so wholeheartedly let us astray.
As a year, 2016, You Sucked! You should be ashamed of yourself. Goodbye, and I hope you die a slow and painful death.
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
This opinion piece is an original work by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
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