Yes, Beer Yoga, REALLY Is A Thing!
and, I’m all in.
The geniuses at Germany’s, Bier Yoga (On FaceBook @bieryoga) seem to have started this trend over a year ago. Why didn’t anybody friggin bring this to my attention sooner? Jhula over at @bieryoga is my new hero. It’s no surprise that Beer Yoga is taking the world by storm.
Beer is one thing I know about. I consider myself a professional beer aficionado. I don’t mean the horrible King of Beers, The Champagne of Beer or even beer brewed with Rocky Mountain Spring Water. I am talking about real beer, mirco-brews, brew pubs, Sam Adams, Carlsburg, Guiness, etc. essentially beers with body and flavor. Obviously, this is how it should be.
Don’t get be wrong. I am not advocating excessive beer drinking at all. However, a nice cold beer or two after a grueling day at work is certainly appropriate.
I do have extensive experience with fine beers that are certainly related to Yoga. Deep breathing a fine aroma of a fine beer for starters. I am even fairly expert at both 12-ounce as well as 16-ounce curls. I have even proven proficient at 64-ounce “growler” curls as well.
Yoga, on the other hand, not so much. You see, I have never been very flexible. I mean not now, not ever in my life. When I watch Yoga all I can see is pain, and a severe risk if falling down. This actually makes me feel pretty inadequate.
On the other hand, after a couple of beers, I feel enough courage that I could give Yoga a shot, and maybe even be semi-successful. Like I sad, Beer and Yoga is a genius combination, and I for one, I am fully prepared to pursue it to the fullest and strive to become an expert at Beer Yoga. I mean why not? For just once in my life I want to be on the cutting edge of something, instead of a Johnny come lately.
I have already instructed my retirement advisors to liquidate my retirement so I can start a new Beer and Yoga pub to be called, Yogi Beera’s Beer & Yoga Pub. As we speak, I am currently interviewing and hiring the best Beer Yoga instructors and bartenders from all over the country. I envision that Yogi Beera’s Beer & Yoga Pub will feature 58 beers on tap as well as plenty of open space for the new Beer Yoga craze.
Once Yogi Beera’s Beer & Yoga Pub is up and running, I will begin selling franchise opportunities all across America.
Do you think @bieryoga’s Jhula is available? I think I need some personalized instruction in Beer Yoga as soon as possible.
Who knows this could be the next big thing. After all, the guy who invented the Pet Rock, made millions in the early 1970’s because he had vision. I believe that I can see quite clearly now.
I am definitely going to spring for the extra thick yoga mats.
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This is an original article of news satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.