Tales oF the Absurd, Original Satire, Politics & News Commentary

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Who Are The Unsung American Heroes?

Who Are The Unsung American Heroes? 

We hear the term “American Hero” used a lot. But exactly what is a hero?

According to the dictionary, a hero is defined as; ” A person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character” 

There are different types of heroes. Of course, there are the highly trained Firefighters, Police Officer’s, Doctor’s, Soldiers and others who perform heroic acts every day. These are the people who by their chosen professions and desire to help others find themselves in situations where heroic actions may be required and they willingly risk their own lives to save the lives of others. Certainly, these brave men and women are truly American Heroes.


Then there are the average Americans who suddenly find themselves in the middle of a situation and instead of ignoring it, running away, or hiding, just instinctively take action. We witnessed an example of this again just recently on May 26, 2017, on a commuter train in Portland Oregon.

On a seemingly normal day, heading into the Memorial Day weekend, on a commuter train, a man was heard verbally harassing and spewing anti-Muslim slurs at two young teenage girls. One of the girls was an African-American, and her friend a Muslim was wearing a hijab.  It makes absolutely no difference that one was African-American and the other was Muslim, the point is these are just two young teenage girls minding their own business and suddenly their lives were about to be changed forever.

According to one of the frightened young women, Destinee Magnum, 16,  “He told us to go back to Saudi Arabia and he told us we shouldn’t be here, to get out of his country,” Mangum told KPTV. “He was just telling us that we basically weren’t anything and that we should just kill ourselves.” Frightened by his outburst, the pair moved away to the back of the train.

The Islamophobic racist who hurled these insults at these two young women was later identified as Jeremy Joseph Christian, 35.

Jeremy Joseph Christian

Three people unwilling to let this horrific hate speech hurled at two young women took action. Ricky John Best, Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche and Micah David-Cole Fletcher Stood up and confronted the attacker,  telling the man that he “can’t disrespect these young ladies like that.”

Portland Heroes

These three heroes attempted to calm and de-escalate the situation when Jeremy Joseph Christian pulled out a knife and when it was all over, Ricky John Best and Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche were stabbed to death. Micah David-Cole Fletcher survived the attack but was hospitalized with serious injuries.

When the train stopped, there was blood everywhere according to witnesses. Jeremy Christian fled but several passengers chased after him and called 911, directing officers to his location.

So who are these unsung American Heroes?

Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche, 23, A bit of a math whiz, he graduated from Reed College last year with a degree in economics.

Ricky John Best, 53, A U.S. Army veteran and father of four, worked as a technician for the city Bureau of Development Services.

Micah David-Cole Fletcher, 21. An Autistic young man with a strong sense of right and wrong.

Did you know that it took President Trump until May 29 to even make a half-assed tweet responding to the Portland attacks? It’s true.

President Trump


The violent attacks in Portland on Friday are unacceptable. The victims were standing up to hate and intolerance. Our prayers are w/ them.

Rep. Mark Walker (R-N.C.) Attacks “Duckling Ramps” At Capitol Reflecting Pool As Government Waste

Rep. Mark Walker (R-N.C.) Attacks “Duckling Ramps” At Capitol Reflecting Pool As Government Waste

Really!!!! Well, Congressman, I was almost speechless when I first read your tweet as it was apparent that the depths of your stupidity evidently run very, very, deep. Just how did you think America would react?

How could you possibly NOT know that on May 15, 2017, at 4:56 PM, when you tweeted the photo (see below) along with “If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, it must be government waste” that Americans would react strongly in response to your personal attack on baby ducklings?

Mark Walkers example of Govt waste

Congressman, you asked for it and now you got it. The first question that comes to mind is, what is your fucking problem with helping baby ducklings? Do you even have the smallest shred of humanity left in you?

What’s next? are you going to attack; puppies, kittens, baby squirrels? Where doe’s this end?

Here’s the back story for those who haven’t heard about this yet. The Architect of the U.S. Capitol in collaboration with City Wildlife, a local nonprofit installed two “Duck Ramps” along the area of the Capitol reflecting pond where there is a limestone barrier which makes it impossible for baby ducklings to get in and out of the water. The ramps, I estimate would cost around $47.00 each. (This is less than a one hundred dollar investment).

Why are these ramps important you ask? They will fucking drown from exhaustion or die of starvation unless they have a way to get out of the water, that’s why.

There are currently four families of Mallard ducks that call the Capitol Reflecting Pool home and return every single Spring. Ducks have lived at the reflecting pool since it’s inception, and are well loved, not only by the tourists and visitors to the Capitol but the people who live and work there as well.

Well now that you know the rest of the story. America responded with a vengeance and America’s not happy.

I don’t know about you Congressman, but I like baby ducklings, I believe that most people do. I live in Florida and several times there has been a mother Duck trying to get her brood of baby ducks across a busy road. This same scene plays out every Spring in cities and roads all across America.

Every single time, traffic stops both ways and at least one person, most of the time several people jump out of their cars and stop traffic both ways so the mother duck and her brood of ducklings can cross the road safely. No one is ever a dick about it. This is nothing more than human beings showing their humanity by helping small animals navigate an urban landscape that without our help could be deadly.

Here’s a video from Chicago that is a typical example that happens all across America every Spring. This is what being human is all about.

Well, Congressman because of your idiotic attack on baby ducklings, American’s responded to your tweet in ways that should have been entirely predictable to anyone else. But evidently, since you do not suffer from the ravages of intelligence you somehow did not see this coming. Here are just a few samples the thousands of tweets of how American’s responded to your example of Government waste.

@RepMarkWalker We could fly them down to Mar-a-lago every weekend if you’d like.

@RepMarkWalker Medicaid patients, Jimmy Kimmel’s baby, now baby ducklings. Do you have any hateful commments on puppies 🐶 you’d like to share?

@RepMarkWalker Donald Trump has made 21 trips to the golf course in 16 weeks and this dumbass is talking about government waste. 

@LizzyBaine @mitchellscomet @Xathreus @ErickFernandez@RepMarkWalker Only a monster would call this a waste.

@RepMarkWalker Pssst …. we’re paying for POTUS to go golfing every weekend and for his wife to live in a gold tower.

@RepMarkWalker I’m confused, that looks like a really cheap way to offset the ecosystem disruption of the concrete structure.

@RepMarkWalker Did you know that the president just told Russia classified secrets & goes golfing every weekend? What’s wrong with you?

So, Congressman Walker since you were so concerned about Government waste regarding a couple of ramps for ducklings which most likely cost less than $100.00. let’s talk about Government waste.

  • Per the As of April 29, 2017, “Since taking office, Mr Trump has spent half of his presidential weekends at his Florida resort, according to the New York Times. That schedule gave Mr Trump at least 25 days on the private getaway. The president has incurred roughly $25 million in expenses in his first 100 days in office. These expenses exceed President Obama’s travel expenses during his entire 8 years in office.
  • Melania Trumps refusal to live at the WhiteHouse and instead stay at Trump Tower in New York City with their son Barron costs an estimated 1 million dollars a day in security.
  • The House of Representatives has averaged 138 “legislative days” a year since 2001, according to records kept by the Library of Congress. That’s about one day of work every three days, or fewer than three days a week. I find this stunning as I work for the private sector, and they not only expect results, but I am expected to report to work as well as be productive at least 270 days a year (minus my 10 days vacation and a handful of holidays). Of course as the vast majority of American’s I don’t make anywhere near $174,000 per year as congress does either.
  • Republican’s in congress, such as yourself continually keep trying to destroy our healthcare system while at the same time keep trying to give the top 2% of Americans huge tax cuts, who by the way have the greatest ability to pay them. What’s up with that? Certainly, the Affordable Care Act has some problems, It is working well in 42 our of 50 States. How but about fixing them instead of throwing the rest of us under the bus.
  • What’s up with all this nonsense with congress rolling back regulations protecting our clean air and water? How much will it cost if we have another huge environmental disaster? Protecting profits of the big corporations instead of protecting the environment is frankly, insane.

Congressman, I could keep citing examples for several pages, but you get the general idea of what I am talking about. So the next time you complain about a couple of ramps so ducklings can get safely in and out of the water at the capitol reflecting pool maybe you should be looking at the big picture that affects all American’s.

You also have to consider that two ramps for baby ducklings are also important for disabled ducks, elderly ducks as well as the baby ducks. This could be considered a Ducks with Disabilities Act (DDA). This strongly parallels the Americans With Disabilities Act (ADA).

I don’t know what your issue with baby ducklings is. Maybe as a small child, you were traumatised by a baby duckling, maybe it was something else.  All I know for sure is that your attack on baby ducklings could well be extrapolated to be an attack on babies and the elderly as well.

I for one, will not stand for any attacks on ducklings or any attack on; animals, human babies, or the elderly.  I am a human being, and I care a lot about everyone. And, more importantly, I am not alone.

It’s a dirty job but someone’ss got to do it,  We care a lot!

Congressman, don’t even think about attacking puppies. I love puppies, and millions of others think just like me, and believe me, we vote.


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson

This News Commentary is an original work of satire by Thomas Dyson. If you like our articles please consider becoming a subscriber (It’s Free) and you will be one of the first notified when new articles are posted. Rest assured we do not use your email address for anything except to provide you with a notification of new content posted. 

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Trump as President? The Only Possible Explanation Is That I Have Been Transported To Some Sort of Dystopian Alternate Reality?

Trump as President? The Only Possible Explanation Is That I Have Been Transported To Some Sort of Dystopian Alternate Reality?

Mere words cannot express how everything is just somehow so much the same, but on the other hand so very wrong.  I have no idea how I came to be here, but I do know where I have come from.

You see, I was born in 1958, in the real United States of America, not this bizarre alternate United States where our basic values and ideals have been twisted and turned upside down.

I was born in Southern California to politically conservative parents right at the beginning of a period of radical political change. Of course, as an infant and an as a small child, I was not aware that the 1950’s nuclear age of; My Three Sons, Donna Reed, Leave it to Beaver, was rapidly drawing to a close. The radical 1960’s were rapidly coming upon us and my liberal political awakening was about to begin.

January 20, 1961. John F. Kennedy was elected President of the United States. Although I do not remember the moment when he was elected, I am absolutely certain that he left a major impression on my young impressionable mind.

“Let the word go forth from this time and place to friend and foe alike, that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans” JFK 01/20/1961.  I was part of that new generation of Americans. The world was changing fast, I watched it all on the 6:00 News. I may not have understood everything, but rest assured, I was soaking it all in.

In 1963 Martin Luther King gave his amazing “I have a Dream” speech in Washington, D.C. This was an epic event in mankind. The civil rights movement was in full swing. For me, everyone was equal as long as you were nor trying to take my toys.

John F Kennedy was eventually assassinated on November 22, 1963.  Honestly, I don’t recall if I remember this from when it actually happened, or from seeing it repeated over and over as I grew up. However, this tragic event certainly made a huge impression on me.

At about this same time music was radically changing as well, music has always made a huge impression one me. One of my favourite bands to this day came out with this song in 1964.

You have to understand, from what came before this was really radical material.

Then came 1965, I was 7 years old. Bob Dylan came out with Like a Rolling Stone.

The Vietnam war was raging on, we watched all the killing every night on the 6:00 News.

1968, by this time I was 10 tears old and fully aware of my surroundings. The Vietnam War, The Cold War, Anti-War Protests, Equal Rights, Women’s Rights, Black power, Civil Rights, Gay Rights, Riots, Protests, Animal Rights, SLA and Patty Hurst, Eco-Terrorism, Malcolm X, Angela Davis, Marijuana, LSD, and especially my friends older sister who lived across the street.

As a 10-year-old boy, I still can vividly remember my friend’s 18-year-old sister who used to dress in a halter top (bra-less) and short, short, pink hot pants. It’s funny the things you remember decades later.  Everything else going on all around me,  politically and socially, was perfectly normal and I accepted it for what it was.

But my friend’s bra-less sister with the hot pants really stands out. Maybe it was just hormones. I assume this is the moment that I realized that I was a heterosexual, not that there is anything wrong with being anything else.

By 1969 we had already successfully landed men on the moon, and brought them back home safely, Martin Luther King had previously been assassinated as well as Robert Kennedy. The entire world was in turmoil. But, I can safely say that by now, my core beliefs, politics, and philosophy about life and everything was born, nurtured, and grew into what I am today.

Flash forward to 1976, I was 18 years old and was able to vote for the very first time. I proudly voted for Jimmy Carter (D). As a proud liberal and a Democrat, I have never looked back.

Next, there was Ronald “Raygun” Reagan (R) who destroyed the economy with his massive tax cuts and supply side economics. It was perfectly clear to me that by Reagan’s 2nd term he no longer had the facility to run the country and everything was actually being run by his aides and the cabinet.

Next, came George HW Bush (R), a one-term President who didn’t do very much one way or the other. After that came two terms of Bill Clinton (D), a morally bankrupt, but economically effective President who actually sold out a lot of Democratic core values.

Of course, who could ever forget our next two-term  President, George W. Bush (R)?  GW Bush, got us into an illegal war in Iraq that was never paid for, introduced torture that is against the Geneva convention and destroyed the U.S. economy with his zeal for non-regulation of the financial industry.

And then, a little known Senator Barack Obama (D) was elected President in 2009. President Obama, a slightly center-left Democrat saved the economy from the worst economic recession since the great depression. President Obama’s 28 greatest accomplishments include:

1 – Rescued the country from the Great Recession, cutting the unemployment rate from 10% to 4.7% over six years

2 – Signed the Affordable Care Act which provided health insurance to over 20 million uninsured Americans

3 – Ended the war in Iraq

4 – Ordered for the capture and killing of Osama Bin Laden

5 – Passed the $787 billion America Recovery and Reinvestment Act to spur economic growth during the Great Recession

6 – Supported the LGBT community’s fight for marriage equality

7 – Commuted the sentences of nearly 1200 drug offenders to reverse “unjust and outdated prison sentences”

8 – Saved the U.S. auto industry

9 – Helped put the U.S. on track for energy independence by 2020

10 – Began the drawdown of troops in Afghanistan

11 – Signed the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals allowing as many as 5 million people living in the U.S. illegally to avoid deportation and receive work permits

12 –Signed the Dodd-Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act to re-regulate the financial sector

13 – Dropped the veteran homeless rate by 50 percent

14 – Reversed Bush-era torture policies

15 – Began the process of normalizing relations with Cuba

16 – Increased Department of Veteran Affairs funding

17 – Signed the Credit Card Accountability, Responsibility, and Disclosure Act

18 – Boosted fuel efficiency standards for cars

19 – Improved school nutrition with the Healthy Hunger-Free Kids Act

20 – Repealed the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy

21 – Signed the Hate Crimes Prevention Act, making it a federal crime to assault anyone based on sexual or gender identification

22 – Helped negotiate the landmark Iran Nuclear Deal

23 – He signed the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act to combat pay discrimination against women

24 – Nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court, making her the first Hispanic ever to serve as a justice

25 – Supported veterans through a $78 billion tuition assistance GI bill

26 – Won the Nobel Peace Prize in 2009 “for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples”

27 – Launched My Brother’s Keeper, a White House initiative designed to help young minorities achieve their full potential

28 – Expanded embryonic stem cell research leading to groundbreaking work in areas including spinal injury treatment and cancer

(Obama’s 28 greatest accomplishments courtesy of

We were finally on the right track. Things were moving forward and we finally had a President that was; intelligent, honest, a great family man, and was a great leader that we could all be proud of.

November 7, 2016, everything went wrong. Everything was fine the day before, and then on election night, 2016 when I woke up the next morning, I realized that I had suddenly been transported to some sort of dystopian alternate reality where the impossible had actually happened.

Somehow, I was transported into a reality where a reality TV star, real estate developer who bragged about grabbing women’s pussies, incited violence against African-Americans, advocated banning Muslims from entering the country, quite possibly colluded with the Russians to hack the U.S. election, is delusional, and lies literally all the time. Trump also fired the FBI Director who was actively was investing the Russian hacking. And this is just a small sampling of all the bizarre things he has said and done. And don’t get me started on his Twitter rants. All this in only his first three months in office.

(Keep in mind that this video is over three months old. There are a lot more bizarre rants since then.)

And, this is just a small sampling of all the bizarre things he has said and done. And don’t get me started on his Twitter rants. All this in only his first three months in office.

Donald Trump

This is the world where somehow this is all OK.  This minority elected President seems to be able to hold onto his 30% base of supporters no matter what he says or does. I mean most of the people around me seem to be the same as they ever were. My home, loved ones, job, co-workers, dog, family, and neighbor’s still seem to be the same as always. There are some subtle differences though.

A few of my friends have mysteriously become Trump supporters. I found this really weird as these are really smart people and suddenly, they have drunk the kool-aid and now support a xenophobic, bigoted, racist, authoritarian, misogynist. How is this even possible?

The other subtle cues that this is some sort of dystopian alternate reality is the fact that racist hate crimes and racism are on the rise and seem to be the norm in this reality, bigotry seems to have become normal behaviour. The uneducated and deplorable are the ones calling all the shots politically as well as socially. Political correctness has broken down and in this alternate reality, America is on the decline.

How did I get here, thrust into this bizarre alternate dystopian reality?  I have no idea. How do I get back to the real United States of America, to my own timeline and reality, where we have a normal government and a real President who actually cares about all the American People? A President who has integrity, honesty, and the intelligence to lead all Americans not just the minority who voted for him?

Right now, I have no idea how I will get back to my own reality, but I will keep trying every waking moment, every single day. Somehow, someday, I will get back to where I belong.

I still believe in the America that I grew up in. Sure, we had huge societal issues, but we worked together to overcome them. Everyone worked together to make the world a better place.

Nightmares can’t last forever, can they?


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson


This News Commentary is an original article by; Thomas Dyson.


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