I want to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat, I am an enigma, and believe it or not, a vast amount of people consider me to be a world-renowned scholar of esoteric knowledge, I contemplate things that many would not or could not dare to think about.
Being a scholar of esoteric knowledge I have lived my entire life based on the profound wisdom of John Houseman, who once said, ” A wise man believes only in lies, trusts only the absurd and learns to expect the unexpected”
So, because of all this, I find myself thinking about a lot of things that most people probably haven’t even considered thinking about before. I am going to share a few of these thoughts with you to see what you think. Feel free to comment on any one of (or all) these profound revelations.
Please remember all these opinions are mine, and mine alone, and are not meant to disrespect anyone’s personal beliefs or philosophy in life. If you are offended, by my opinions and my beliefs then you should stop reading this article right now.
Life & Death
The Afterlife
I hear religious people all the time talking about the glorious afterlife they’re going to have after death. Really? How do you know that? What if you’re wrong? Just saying. I know one thing for certain, believe me, I have thought about this a lot. “Life is a sure thing, and death is definitely to uncertain for my liking”. I equate this to someone who is relying on winning the lottery as their retirement plan., the odds are totally against you. You may want to have a plan B, just in case Plan A, doesn’t work out
I don’t know about you, but not one person that I have ever known, or even ever heard of that had died, has ever come back, appeared to me, came to me in a dream, or anything else for that matter, and extolled the virtues of being dead, and how awesome the afterlife is, and encouraged me to try it for myself.
Think about that for a moment. Although, I have had living people tell me that I should just die, or that I should just kill myself. Obviously, I didn’t listen to them and don’t plan to, not now and not ever.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking right about now. “You have to have faith and you have to believe with all your heart”. OK, I get that. I have heard this literally uncountable times before.
Here is something to consider, I had a good really good friend Brad, (who by the way has also passed away, and has also never tried to contact me from beyond the grave either). Anyway, Brad believed with his entire being that aliens would never allow a nuclear war to occur between nations on Earth and they would immediately intervene if one was imminent. He had absolute unshakable faith in this and believed it with all his heart.
I know this first hand, as Brad and me, discussed this topic on numerous occasions. Brad never wavered in his belief, or for that matter ever produced any kind of proof, or any kind of evidence that this was actually the case, not an alien manifesto, or any proof at all. I personally thought that this was not something that I would want to rely on in the brink of a nuclear war.
I had serious concerns, what if the unspecified aliens were on vacation, stuck in trans-galactic traffic, or were asleep when a nuclear war on earth started. I mentioned my concerns to Brad, and he was still supremely confident and absolutely believed that the aliens would intervene and that I was foolish to be concerned at all.
So who’s right? and who’s wrong? That’s the part I am still contemplating.
Did you know that 80% of Evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump? I would be really interested in knowing how anyone could possibly unite, or find common ground between these two opposing forces. I do know that I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one, no matter how much I think about it.
According to evangelical Christianity, If an atheist lived a good life, helped the poor and disadvantaged, did not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, essentially lived a good upstanding life by any measure but somehow failed to accept Jesus Christ before his/her death, they would be condemned to hell.
However, if Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, or Ted Bundy, did accept Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness before their deaths, they would all go to heaven. I am sorry but this just sounds absurd.
Scientologists
Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard, a somewhat well-known “Science Fiction author”.
According to dummies.com “Scientologists believe that people are immortal alien beings (called thetans) who have forgotten their true nature and are trapped on earth in a human body. Scientologists believe that each thetan has lived numerous past lives, both on earth in our physical bodies, and on other planets. Scientologists also believe that by undergoing a series of classes and teachings (called auditing by the church), people can free themselves of their human form and reclaim their true selves.
Seriously? I think I’ve read the book and it ends badly for your bank account.
Here’s what I believe, as the great philosopher Forrest Gump once said, “Stupid is what stupid does” and “That’s all I have to say about that”.
Science
Gravity
People generally agree that the discovery of “Gravity” is one of the most fundamentally important discoveries of all time. First, Issac Newton, but he was wrong, and then Albert Einstein finally described the fundamental concept of “Gravity” as we know it today.
I want to put forth the idea that this was actually not as big a deal as people make it out to be. You see, gravity is always there, even on holidays, overnight, and the weekends. Someone would have discovered gravity sooner or later anyway. Seriously this seems pretty obvious to me.
Climate Change
99.9% of scientists and scientific bodies around the world tell us that climate change is real and is being caused by mankind because of our industrial activities. I accept their findings. After all, I am not a climate scientist.
The part of climate change that I to contemplate is the thinking of those who deny it’s real. Virtually all climate change deniers start their denial with, “I am not a scientist, but…..”
That’s right you are not a scientist Bozo, so who are you to refute them with your own bullshit. Donald Trump says that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. What????
Sarah Palin is another climate change denier, so that should tell you everything you need to know.
Personally, I’m with the scientists on this one.
Discovering America
When I went to school they taught us that Christopher Columbus discovered America. No, he did not! The Americas were always there. Columbus was actually sailing for the West Indies, but being the really piss poor sailor that he was, he made a wrong turn and ran right smack into America. So, Christopher “Wrong Way”Columbus made a wrong turn, and somehow “discovered” something that was there all along. I mean seriously, it’s not like you could miss it or anything. Columbus was way, way, overrated. Not to mention the fact that he was an asshole, and a slaver.
Hell, the way I see it, “Gilligans Island” had a more believable plotline than Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Aliens (Extraterrestrial Life)
I have been thinking about this for a very long time now. When I talk about aliens I am referring to the kind from another planet, not to be confused with undocumented people from one country living in another country without permission.
We seem to have two kinds of supposed alien visitations. The first type is where alien beings visit some poor uneducated fool named Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, abduct him against his will give him some sort of inexplicable anal probe, release him and go on their merry way.
This makes no sense on several levels. How many anal probes would alien beings require from human beings? and what would be the ultimate purpose?
I would think that if alien beings wanted to reveal themselves to Earth they most likely would not appear to Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, they would be a lot more effective landing at Central Park in NYC, at noon on a Saturday, where thousands of people would see them. Not to mention the fact that this would be a lot better place to gather their anal probe data as they could collect hundreds at once. I would be willing to bet that they could find several people who would even volunteer for anal probing.
The other type of alien sighting consists of either coloured lights in the night sky or supposed video of some sort of alien craft just buzzing the Earth. I often wonder if aliens just buzz the planet just to fuck with us for fun?
According to the theory of Occam’s razor, with two facts being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
Unidentified lights in the sky, or (usually fuzzy images) of unusually shaped craft flying over someplace seems like a stretch from other more simple explanations.
I do believe that considering that there are literally billions of planets and galaxies out there that there is certainly a great probability that there are other forms of life somewhere in the universe. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not have any proof to support this belief, this is just a very strong statistical probability.
Here’s something to contemplate. I am going to science the shit out of this one, so hang on. The closest star (another sun) from Earth is 4.24 light years away. It is a binary star system and Faint Proxima Centauri is the closest one.
A light-year is a distance that light travels in one year. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – E = mc2 this equates to 186,000 miles per second. To put this into perspective that means that if you could travel the speed of light, it would mean that you could travel from Earth to the Moon in 1.3 seconds. Also, according to the Einstein’s relativity, one cannot travel at, or faster than the speed of light.
So, by the laws of physics, as we understand it, travelling at .99% the speed of light, it would take an alien race sometime more than 4.24 years each way just to reach Earth. Of course, because of time dilation, they would only experience a trip of only about 14 days, while 4.24 years would have passed on Faint Proxima Centauri.
So, ignoring pesky things like having to slow down, orbital mechanics, and everything else, If aliens left Faint Proxima Centauri at,99% the speed of light somehow slingshot around the Earth and go right back home. These alien astronauts would have aged only about 24 days while everyone else on their planet would have aged 8.48 years. BAM! Mic drop!
What that means is either extraterrestrial aliens have either discovered other laws of physics and technologies that we don’t have any understanding or comprehension of, which is not beyond the realm of possibility, or it could be that we are just separated by too vast distances to ever meet or have any meaningful communication.
Let’s just imagine for a moment that an alien culture only 4.24 light years away sent us a modulated communication by a powerful laser. Assuming that we could even understand the message, and answer it right away, the message would take 4,24 years to get here and another 4.24 more years before they got our response. Just saying hello to each other would take 8.48 years. A generation would have lived and died before any sort of meaningful communication would have occurred.
I am going to be thinking about this one for quite a long time.
Our own solar system is vast. For all the science geeks out there like me here is a fascinating video that illustrates, in real-time, the journey of a photon of light emitted from the surface of the sun and travelling across a portion of our solar system, from a human perspective.
Fake News and Alternative Facts
This is one area where I attempt to contemplate some sort of meaning but somehow I always fail miserably. Although that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Did you know that pollsters recently did a survey where they talked to lots of people and presented them with a conspiracy theory without any basis in fact or offering any proof and a full 33% of the people believed them without question?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Whatever happened to critical thinking? What I find interesting is how the 33% of the people who obviously believes anything, without proof or basis, in fact, or reality, is about the same percentage of people who voted for Donald Trump.
Is this a coincidence? Who knows. Although I believe that there is a strong probability that this is actually the case that 33% of the people are actually morons who will believe anything, without proof, or facts, no matter how absurd it might be.
I actually had a friend tell me recently that Breitbart news was going to be the “new” New York Times. Are you fucking kidding me? The New York Times is a Pulitzer prize winning news source. Breitbart news, not so much.
Donald trump recently tweeted that NY Times, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CNN News are enemies of the American People. This is incredibly dangerous and is certainly just Trump’s propaganda. Just because mainstream news organisations report his own words or report actual news that is critical of him or his policies does not make them enemies of the American people it just makes them news organisations doing their jobs as journalists.
Conversely, if the mainstream news organisations mentioned above are enemies of the American people, then that would infer that biased or outright fake news sites e.g.- FOX News, Breitbart, Infowars, or the Drudge Report are not. Sadly, people actually buy into these alternative facts.
The main issue that I try to contemplate is why? Another important question is why do people vote against their own interests?
I listen to NPR three hours per day, read the Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, Bloomberg, NY Times, Washington Post,and Politico every day to try to get a good understanding of events and to try see if there is a consensus regarding the day’s news events. Notice that the common thread between all of these news sites is that they are all award-winning mainstream news sources.
I am still stunned when I wear my NPR tee-shirt that Trump supporters will point to it and say that NPR is a liberal news organisation. Seriously??? NPR is about as fair and balanced as you can get and they always present both sides in every news story they produce, and furthermore, NPR doe’s not provide any sort of commentary one way or the other, they present the facts from both sides and leave it up to you to decide for yourself where you stand on the issues at hand. Isn’t this what real journalism is all about?
Since when did NPR suddenly become the enemy, or somehow become a liberal news source? They haven’t, and I can’t imagine that they ever will be.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Democracy is founded upon a well-educated population” He was right then, and he is, even more, right today. The internet and fake news sources have enabled people to validate their own beliefs regardless if they are true or not.
I get it, It is really hard for some people to change their belief systems when confronted with indisputable facts to the contrary. However, as human beings, this is how life is. The real truth of reality is not what you want it, or believe it to be. Reality is what it is, and will find a way to reassert itself with a vengeance the longer it is denied. There is only one truth no matter what you may personally believe.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of, there are no “alternative facts” only facts. There is only one truth, it is only true, or not true. The sooner we all realise this the better off we will all be.
The sooner you realise this fundamental truth about reality, the sooner you will learn to become a thinking human being.
As for the rest of this stuff, I will keep contemplating it so you don’t have to.
Some of my other important contemplations that I am still working on include, why is it that a USB connector is designed to only go in one way, but you have to flip it around three times before it finally goes in? and why is it that they keep looking for Big Foot, but never seem to find one, either living or dead?
As Always,
I Am…..
Thomas Dyson
This article is an original work of satire and is based on actual news events. Become a follower today to be one of the first to be notified when new articles are posted. Share this article with all your friends on social media or just shout it from the rooftops.
Revenge of The Clowns, And The New GOP Presidential Circus!
The Barnum & Baily Circus may be ending its 124 year run in May 2017, but the circus isn’t over yet, not by a long run my friends. Due to unpopular demand, the circus has reformed and set up their big top in Washington, D.C. for an open-ended limited engagement in our nation’s capitol.
All New GOP Presidential Circus
OH!, and great news the elephants, and the amazing freak show are back as well. Tickets are on sale right now!
Let’s meet the brand new cast of characters. You will truly be horrified, thrilled, and amazed.
First, the Russian-GOP Circus has a brand new head clown. I am truly excited about this one.
First up, meet, Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Presidential Clown.
Braggadocious Blowhard Trump the Russian Clown
Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the Russian Clown – Is a former reality TV star and pretends to be a billionaire. He gives a somewhat erratic performance and has multiple routines which include; racist, xenophobic, bigoted, misogynistic, authoritarian, homophobic, rants and raves to the delight of the crowds. What’s really hilarious, he also pretends to be in charge, and as an extra bonus, he has a very active, alternative facts, Twitter account.
Believe me, when I say that you will not be disappointed with his wacky rants coupled with his sixth-grade vocabulary, this is family fun at it’s best. He is absolutely destined to be a crowd favourite. Personally, I believe his denial of the Russian collusion routine is especially entertaining.
Next meet, The Ring Master, Comrade Manafort
Ring Master Comrade Manafort
The Ring Master, Comrade Paul Manafort – Comrade Manafort has deep Russian ties and is responsible for getting the long-term booking of the GOP Circus to Washington, D.C. Comrade Manafort and his Russian pals helped Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Clown, and arranged for his long-term engagement in Washington, D.C. as well as the return of the elephants, and the freak show. On top ot that, Comrade Manafort also arranged for a brand new big top tent, the biggest, most beautiful big top tent ever built.
The Ringmaster, Comrade Paul Manafort, also has an amazing act where he launders piles of dirty money and makes it disappear it right before your eyes. It really is mind-boggling. Once again, it’s really good fun for the entire family.
Next Up, meet Comrade Stone, the Magnificant.
Comrade Stone the Magnificent
I can’t say enough about Comrade Stone The Magnificent’s act. He is another one from the Russian contingent of the Presidential GOP Circus. Comrade Stone the Magnificent is a mentalist. This guy tries to make you believe anything. He will attempt to make you believe that the sky is red, trees are blue, up is down, and down is up. He is truly amazing. Just beware that your sense of reality will be severely challenged after watching his act. I will say that his act is probably inappropriate for the un-educated as well as small children.
And now for my favourite part of the GOP Presidential Circus, THE GOP PRESIDENTIAL CIRCUS FREAK SHOW. I love the freak show, it has been missing from the GOP Presidential Circus for years, but now it’s back. I am getting my tickets as soon as I can. I am not going to miss this. This is a once in a lifetime event.
Let’s meet the freak show, The Circus Barker, is Sean “The Lapdog” Spicer. This guy is one of my favourites.
Profound Revelations is proud to bring you exclusive video of one of his recent performances.
This is the ultimate in family entertainment.The GOP Presidential Circus couldn’t have picked a better Circus Barker than Sean, “The Lapdog” Spicer. This guy calls it like it is, not matter how outrageous his statements may be.
And now for my absolute favourite member of the GOP Presidential Circus Freak Show. Meet Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway.
Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway
Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway – is just like Wonder Woman, she can deflect anything and everything directed at her, watch her carefully as she twists and ties herself up in knots to avoid answering any question throws at her. Her performance is truly mind boggling.
Here’s another exclusive video from Profound Revelations that will give you a feel for just how awesome her act is.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the return of the GOP Presidential Circus Elephants. There are a lot of Elephants in this new version of the GOP Presidential Circus.
GOP Elephants
There are many more characters, such as, Michael “Flim Flam” Flynn, Devin “The Collusionist” Nunes, and many others, but I don’t want to give away the entire secret of the GOP Presidential Circus.
Buy your tickets now as the GOP Presidential Circus full run is in doubt, as uncertain economic factors may force an early impeachment or mass resignations.
Unfortunately, the GOP Presidential Circus may have to close early, so buy your tickets right now, and don’t miss out on this amazing family fun, suitable for all ages, See the GOP Presidential Circus now before it closes, and is gone forever.
The Cast of the GOP Presidential Circus
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This article is a work of satire, and news commentary, by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy and is based upon personal opinion and published news stories. The names have not been changed and the innocent will be determined in a court of law.
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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, Trump Edition, Or Else Insanity Is The New Normal.
A banker named David Hannum, in regard to one of Barnum’s hoaxes once said: “There is a sucker born every minute”. And you know what, he was absolutely right. As it turns out all the misguided people who voted for Donald Trump are just finding that out.
I can understand how the uneducated, and uninformed, as well as those who worked in occupations like mining, steel, and others, felt that electing an outsider who promised to go to Washington and “drain the swamp” would have a certain appeal. However, what they found out is draining the swamp leaves only a huge pile of shit.
The first red flag moment should have been when Trump filled his cabinet positions with millionaires and billionaires who have done nothing but spent their entire lives screwing the poor and middle class. The rest of his cabinet he filled with; Generals, incompetents and fools. Putting Ben Carson, the retired lunatic neurosurgeon in charge of the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is just one example. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger, Danger!
Did this raise any alarm with Trump supporters? Nope! As a matter of fact I actually had a Trump supporter suggest to me that since these are the people who know how to game the system, these are the perfect choices to fix it. Really??? By that fuzzy logic, we should appoint a convicted bank robber, or even a Bernie Madoff type to be Secretary of the Treasury.
Of course, in between and during all this, Trump declared war on his own intelligence agencies and the mainstream media. I can see Trumps issues with his intelligence agencies as he has said on numerous occasions that he is smarter than the Generals and he has a very smart brain, and he alone knows how to defeat ISIS.
As for the war on the mainstream media, Trump attacks virtually every single news organisation that says anything that’s even remotely critical, or calls him out on his blatant falsehoods and lies that he spews out of his mouth every single day. Is this a rational human being? or is this someone who has become a victim of the body snatchers and is following their own alien agenda?
Did the Trump supporters care? Of course not! I mean Fuck the media and intelligence right?
Let’s not forget the tangled web of Russian connections. Mike Flynn the National Intelligence Advisor was even forced to step down because of them. Trump’s son-in-law and Flynn actually met with the Russian Ambassador at Trump tower, and yet Trump knows nothing about it. Most of Trumps high-level advisors during the campaign during the time that out intelligence agencies said that the Russians were actively interfering with our election met with high-level Russian officials both here and abroad.
Of course, Trump claims that he knows virtually nothing about it, and he did not authorize any communications with the Russians. Did this cause any Trump supporters any concern? Of course not.After all, it’s all fake news right?
Trump signed an executive action banning Muslims that caused chaos in airports worldwide. This was ultimately blocked by the courts as unconstitutional. So what did Trump do, he just signed another one. Trump claims that this is not a discriminatory religious ban on Muslims. However, the courts used his own words and the statements of his advisors and cabinet officials that it actually was.
Trump is being schooled on the U.S. Constitution and basic civics by the courts. were Trump’s supporters concerned about this blatant attack on out constitution? Of course not! As a matter of fact, they enthusiastically supported it. Thank God for the ACLU and many others who fought for our civil rights as well as those of others.
In the middle of this like a long-buried WWII bomb suddenly expolding, Early on a Saturday morning, Trump tweeted that former President Obama had ordered Trump tower to be wire-tapped. He was not clear if Obama dressed in all black, crept around Trump tower and did it personally, or ordered it done by one of our intelligence agencies. Either way, these allegations exploded across the media like the bombshell that it was.
Trump offered no proof or evidence for these outrageous claims. If true this would be a far, far, bigger scandal that watergate. Accusing a former president of a serious felony with no proof or evidence is outrageous. Virtually every official involved in intellegence from the FBI Director, to Obama’s National Intellegence Director, to congress says emphatically that there is no evidence to support these claims. Did Trump back down or apologise? Nope.
Once this nonsense started blowing up in his face, he changed his tune and said that Obama actually asked the British Intelligence Agency GCHQ to wiretap Trump tower for him. What??? What the fuck is he talking about?
Maybe it went down something like this:
Ring, Ring, Ring… GCHQ, Simon speaking, Obama: Simon, it’s Barack I need a favor.
GCHQ; Anything for you old chap, what do you need?
Obama: I need you to wiretap that sleze Donald Trump and Trump Tower in Ney York City.
GCHQ: No problem. I assume this is on the QT?
Obama: You got it.Send me reports on my personal cell.
GCHQ: No problem old chap we will get back to you soon.
Obama: Thanks, Simon I owe you one.
SOUND ABSURD? OF COURSE, IT IS. IT”S FUCKING INSANE!!!!!
When trump was asked about this, he responded,
“We said nothing,” he told the reporter. “All we did was quote a certain very talented legal mind who was the one responsible for saying that on television. I didn’t make an opinion on it. That was a statement made by a very talented lawyer on Fox. So you shouldn’t be talking to me, you should be talking to Fox.”
WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ANSWER IS THIS? OBVIOUSLY, TRUMP’S INTELLIGENCE SOURCES ARE FOX NEWS, BREITBART, AND ALEX JONES.
Evidently, the CIA, NSA, DIA, FBI, State Department, etc. are not as reliable as far as he’s concerned.
Were Trump supporters concerned? Of course not.
Trump
I would be extremely remiss if I didn’t mention Trump’s Counceller, Kellyann Conway and Trump’s Press Secretary Sean Spicer. First up, Kellyann Conway. She is the lunatic who coined the term; “alternative facts” evidently it’s not lying if you call them alternative facts. Kellyann Conway used so many alternative facts that virtually every single mainstream news media refused to have her on their programs. I am fairly certain that she is one of the pod people, as her view on reality is certainly other-worldly. The funny thing is when I was a child, my parents would wash my mouth out with soap for lying. Too bad, I
The funny thing is when I was a child, my parents would wash my mouth out with soap for lying. Too bad, I didn’t know about alternative facts then. I may have gotten away with it.
Sean Spicer, the Whitehouse press Secretary is another winner. He comes out in front of a big crowd of journalists almost every day and spews lies and falsehoods. Spicer actually has the ability to say this with a perfectly straight face. No human being has the ability to do this day in and day out and never crack.
Spicer without his human looking artificial skin
There is only one plausible explanation for this. Sean Spicer is a humanoid robot. As a matter of fact have you ever noticed that Sean Spicer is never seen without the podium in front of him? Think about that for a moment. I believe that the podium holds the power supplies, micro-processors and wires and cables that control this animatronic.
If you listen to his rants carefully it doesn’t take long to realise that he is nothing more than a computer program. Anytime he is presented with facts or reality, he pauses for a moment as his computer brain has just been presented with a; “bad command or file name that doe’s not compute” a moment later he defaults to one of his pre-programmed responses in an attempt to spin an entirely different reality.
Doe’s this concern Trump supporters? Nope. They buy into it hook, line, and sinker.
Can you believe it,all this happened during Trump’sfirst 60 days in office.
And then in rapid succession, Trump introduced the Ryan/Trump healthcare plan to replace Obamacare and his budget proposal for the next fiscal year. All of a sudden reality, remember reality? came crashing back in with a vengeance.
Sure Trump supporters thought is was all fun and games until somebody got hurt. They suddenly realised that the people getting hurt were Trump supporters themselves. Suddenly, trump had turned on those who supported them. All the red meat that Trump had been feeding his supporters turned out to be rotten and poisoned.
Trump Supporters
Trump played all his supporters who do not suffer from the ravages of intelligence and basically threw all of them under the bus. All of a sudden Trump supporters do care, but now it’s too late. They have all come to the sudden realisation that you have to be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Well, they got it. We tried to warn the poor incompetent fools, but they didn’t listen.
The Ryan/Trump healthcare plan will throw 17-24 million people out of affordable healthcare, and drastically raise the cost of healthcare insurance premiums. The plan also eliminates the Medicaid expansion which will mostly affect the States and the very people who voted for him. Are Trump supporters concerned about this? All of a sudden, they do now.
Trump’s new budget proposal would dramatically slash funding for critical social programs that Trump supporters rely on.
Eliminating the funding for Meals-on-Wheels which is 1/3 of their budget. Meals-on-Wheels feeds one healthy meal per day to low-income seniors, veterans and the disabled. According to Trumps plan, fuck the seniors and disabled, they have been a big enough drain on the rest of us already.
His budget would dramatically cut back on school lunches for the poor, assistance to pay heating bills for the poor, eliminate funding for PBS and NPR, cut funds for jb training and so much more.
Per New York Magazine, “The president’s budget cuts funding for early-childhood education, public housing, transit, food assistance, and job training — all programs that disproportionately benefit single mothers in cities with low median incomes. And it also abolishes the Appalachian Regional Commission and Rural Business-Cooperative Service, while shrinking the Labor Department — all moves that disadvantage coal miners”. Wow! Trump supporters are definately fucked now.
Here’s a sincere message to all you Trump supporters, even though you drank the kool-aid and were all duped by a con-man, all of us 2.88 million more who did not vote for this minority elected President are working hard to undo the damage you have done. The Resistance, as we are called welcome you to the good fight, and together we can reverse this abomination that you have caused.
Together, we can and will remove the invasion of the body snatchers and restore truth and justice back to our democracy. We will not allow lying to become the new normal, nor will we allow the elderly, poor and disabled to suffer the brunt of Trump’s dark dystopian vision of America.
Regretful Trump Supporter
Gil Scott-Heron once sang about how; “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” Well this time around it is. We of the Resistance are not only fighting for ourselves, but for all those who were duped by Trump the con-man, and everyone else. Denounce Trump and join us. Together we can make a better world for both me and you.
I am going to leave you with this final thought…
Welcome to THE RESISTANCE.
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This article is a work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, ans is based on actual news events. Become a subscriber today, it’s totally free. You will be the first to be informed when new articles are posted. profoundrevelations.com is grateful for your continued support.
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
By Tom Dye
On April 15, 2017
In Humanity, News Commentary, Opinion, Satire, Tales of the Absurd
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
I want to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat, I am an enigma, and believe it or not, a vast amount of people consider me to be a world-renowned scholar of esoteric knowledge, I contemplate things that many would not or could not dare to think about.
Being a scholar of esoteric knowledge I have lived my entire life based on the profound wisdom of John Houseman, who once said, ” A wise man believes only in lies, trusts only the absurd and learns to expect the unexpected”
So, because of all this, I find myself thinking about a lot of things that most people probably haven’t even considered thinking about before. I am going to share a few of these thoughts with you to see what you think. Feel free to comment on any one of (or all) these profound revelations.
Please remember all these opinions are mine, and mine alone, and are not meant to disrespect anyone’s personal beliefs or philosophy in life. If you are offended, by my opinions and my beliefs then you should stop reading this article right now.
Life & Death
The Afterlife
I hear religious people all the time talking about the glorious afterlife they’re going to have after death. Really? How do you know that? What if you’re wrong? Just saying. I know one thing for certain, believe me, I have thought about this a lot. “Life is a sure thing, and death is definitely to uncertain for my liking”. I equate this to someone who is relying on winning the lottery as their retirement plan., the odds are totally against you. You may want to have a plan B, just in case Plan A, doesn’t work out
I don’t know about you, but not one person that I have ever known, or even ever heard of that had died, has ever come back, appeared to me, came to me in a dream, or anything else for that matter, and extolled the virtues of being dead, and how awesome the afterlife is, and encouraged me to try it for myself.
Think about that for a moment. Although, I have had living people tell me that I should just die, or that I should just kill myself. Obviously, I didn’t listen to them and don’t plan to, not now and not ever.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking right about now. “You have to have faith and you have to believe with all your heart”. OK, I get that. I have heard this literally uncountable times before.
Here is something to consider, I had a good really good friend Brad, (who by the way has also passed away, and has also never tried to contact me from beyond the grave either). Anyway, Brad believed with his entire being that aliens would never allow a nuclear war to occur between nations on Earth and they would immediately intervene if one was imminent. He had absolute unshakable faith in this and believed it with all his heart.
I know this first hand, as Brad and me, discussed this topic on numerous occasions. Brad never wavered in his belief, or for that matter ever produced any kind of proof, or any kind of evidence that this was actually the case, not an alien manifesto, or any proof at all. I personally thought that this was not something that I would want to rely on in the brink of a nuclear war.
I had serious concerns, what if the unspecified aliens were on vacation, stuck in trans-galactic traffic, or were asleep when a nuclear war on earth started. I mentioned my concerns to Brad, and he was still supremely confident and absolutely believed that the aliens would intervene and that I was foolish to be concerned at all.
So who’s right? and who’s wrong? That’s the part I am still contemplating.
Did you know that 80% of Evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump? I would be really interested in knowing how anyone could possibly unite, or find common ground between these two opposing forces. I do know that I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one, no matter how much I think about it.
According to evangelical Christianity, If an atheist lived a good life, helped the poor and disadvantaged, did not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, essentially lived a good upstanding life by any measure but somehow failed to accept Jesus Christ before his/her death, they would be condemned to hell.
However, if Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, or Ted Bundy, did accept Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness before their deaths, they would all go to heaven. I am sorry but this just sounds absurd.
Scientologists
Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard, a somewhat well-known “Science Fiction author”.
According to dummies.com “Scientologists believe that people are immortal alien beings (called thetans) who have forgotten their true nature and are trapped on earth in a human body. Scientologists believe that each thetan has lived numerous past lives, both on earth in our physical bodies, and on other planets. Scientologists also believe that by undergoing a series of classes and teachings (called auditing by the church), people can free themselves of their human form and reclaim their true selves.
Seriously? I think I’ve read the book and it ends badly for your bank account.
Here’s what I believe, as the great philosopher Forrest Gump once said, “Stupid is what stupid does” and “That’s all I have to say about that”.
Science
Gravity
People generally agree that the discovery of “Gravity” is one of the most fundamentally important discoveries of all time. First, Issac Newton, but he was wrong, and then Albert Einstein finally described the fundamental concept of “Gravity” as we know it today.
I want to put forth the idea that this was actually not as big a deal as people make it out to be. You see, gravity is always there, even on holidays, overnight, and the weekends. Someone would have discovered gravity sooner or later anyway. Seriously this seems pretty obvious to me.
Climate Change
99.9% of scientists and scientific bodies around the world tell us that climate change is real and is being caused by mankind because of our industrial activities. I accept their findings. After all, I am not a climate scientist.
The part of climate change that I to contemplate is the thinking of those who deny it’s real. Virtually all climate change deniers start their denial with, “I am not a scientist, but…..”
That’s right you are not a scientist Bozo, so who are you to refute them with your own bullshit. Donald Trump says that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. What????
Sarah Palin is another climate change denier, so that should tell you everything you need to know.
Personally, I’m with the scientists on this one.
Discovering America
When I went to school they taught us that Christopher Columbus discovered America. No, he did not! The Americas were always there. Columbus was actually sailing for the West Indies, but being the really piss poor sailor that he was, he made a wrong turn and ran right smack into America. So, Christopher “Wrong Way”Columbus made a wrong turn, and somehow “discovered” something that was there all along. I mean seriously, it’s not like you could miss it or anything. Columbus was way, way, overrated. Not to mention the fact that he was an asshole, and a slaver.
Hell, the way I see it, “Gilligans Island” had a more believable plotline than Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Aliens (Extraterrestrial Life)
I have been thinking about this for a very long time now. When I talk about aliens I am referring to the kind from another planet, not to be confused with undocumented people from one country living in another country without permission.
We seem to have two kinds of supposed alien visitations. The first type is where alien beings visit some poor uneducated fool named Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, abduct him against his will give him some sort of inexplicable anal probe, release him and go on their merry way.
This makes no sense on several levels. How many anal probes would alien beings require from human beings? and what would be the ultimate purpose?
I would think that if alien beings wanted to reveal themselves to Earth they most likely would not appear to Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, they would be a lot more effective landing at Central Park in NYC, at noon on a Saturday, where thousands of people would see them. Not to mention the fact that this would be a lot better place to gather their anal probe data as they could collect hundreds at once. I would be willing to bet that they could find several people who would even volunteer for anal probing.
The other type of alien sighting consists of either coloured lights in the night sky or supposed video of some sort of alien craft just buzzing the Earth. I often wonder if aliens just buzz the planet just to fuck with us for fun?
According to the theory of Occam’s razor, with two facts being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
Unidentified lights in the sky, or (usually fuzzy images) of unusually shaped craft flying over someplace seems like a stretch from other more simple explanations.
I do believe that considering that there are literally billions of planets and galaxies out there that there is certainly a great probability that there are other forms of life somewhere in the universe. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not have any proof to support this belief, this is just a very strong statistical probability.
Here’s something to contemplate. I am going to science the shit out of this one, so hang on. The closest star (another sun) from Earth is 4.24 light years away. It is a binary star system and Faint Proxima Centauri is the closest one.
A light-year is a distance that light travels in one year. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – E = mc2 this equates to 186,000 miles per second. To put this into perspective that means that if you could travel the speed of light, it would mean that you could travel from Earth to the Moon in 1.3 seconds. Also, according to the Einstein’s relativity, one cannot travel at, or faster than the speed of light.
So, by the laws of physics, as we understand it, travelling at .99% the speed of light, it would take an alien race sometime more than 4.24 years each way just to reach Earth. Of course, because of time dilation, they would only experience a trip of only about 14 days, while 4.24 years would have passed on Faint Proxima Centauri.
So, ignoring pesky things like having to slow down, orbital mechanics, and everything else, If aliens left Faint Proxima Centauri at,99% the speed of light somehow slingshot around the Earth and go right back home. These alien astronauts would have aged only about 24 days while everyone else on their planet would have aged 8.48 years. BAM! Mic drop!
What that means is either extraterrestrial aliens have either discovered other laws of physics and technologies that we don’t have any understanding or comprehension of, which is not beyond the realm of possibility, or it could be that we are just separated by too vast distances to ever meet or have any meaningful communication.
Let’s just imagine for a moment that an alien culture only 4.24 light years away sent us a modulated communication by a powerful laser. Assuming that we could even understand the message, and answer it right away, the message would take 4,24 years to get here and another 4.24 more years before they got our response. Just saying hello to each other would take 8.48 years. A generation would have lived and died before any sort of meaningful communication would have occurred.
I am going to be thinking about this one for quite a long time.
Our own solar system is vast. For all the science geeks out there like me here is a fascinating video that illustrates, in real-time, the journey of a photon of light emitted from the surface of the sun and travelling across a portion of our solar system, from a human perspective.
Fake News and Alternative Facts
This is one area where I attempt to contemplate some sort of meaning but somehow I always fail miserably. Although that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Did you know that pollsters recently did a survey where they talked to lots of people and presented them with a conspiracy theory without any basis in fact or offering any proof and a full 33% of the people believed them without question?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Whatever happened to critical thinking? What I find interesting is how the 33% of the people who obviously believes anything, without proof or basis, in fact, or reality, is about the same percentage of people who voted for Donald Trump.
Is this a coincidence? Who knows. Although I believe that there is a strong probability that this is actually the case that 33% of the people are actually morons who will believe anything, without proof, or facts, no matter how absurd it might be.
I actually had a friend tell me recently that Breitbart news was going to be the “new” New York Times. Are you fucking kidding me? The New York Times is a Pulitzer prize winning news source. Breitbart news, not so much.
Donald trump recently tweeted that NY Times, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CNN News are enemies of the American People. This is incredibly dangerous and is certainly just Trump’s propaganda. Just because mainstream news organisations report his own words or report actual news that is critical of him or his policies does not make them enemies of the American people it just makes them news organisations doing their jobs as journalists.
Conversely, if the mainstream news organisations mentioned above are enemies of the American people, then that would infer that biased or outright fake news sites e.g.- FOX News, Breitbart, Infowars, or the Drudge Report are not. Sadly, people actually buy into these alternative facts.
The main issue that I try to contemplate is why? Another important question is why do people vote against their own interests?
I listen to NPR three hours per day, read the Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, Bloomberg, NY Times, Washington Post,and Politico every day to try to get a good understanding of events and to try see if there is a consensus regarding the day’s news events. Notice that the common thread between all of these news sites is that they are all award-winning mainstream news sources.
I am still stunned when I wear my NPR tee-shirt that Trump supporters will point to it and say that NPR is a liberal news organisation. Seriously??? NPR is about as fair and balanced as you can get and they always present both sides in every news story they produce, and furthermore, NPR doe’s not provide any sort of commentary one way or the other, they present the facts from both sides and leave it up to you to decide for yourself where you stand on the issues at hand. Isn’t this what real journalism is all about?
Since when did NPR suddenly become the enemy, or somehow become a liberal news source? They haven’t, and I can’t imagine that they ever will be.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Democracy is founded upon a well-educated population” He was right then, and he is, even more, right today. The internet and fake news sources have enabled people to validate their own beliefs regardless if they are true or not.
I get it, It is really hard for some people to change their belief systems when confronted with indisputable facts to the contrary. However, as human beings, this is how life is. The real truth of reality is not what you want it, or believe it to be. Reality is what it is, and will find a way to reassert itself with a vengeance the longer it is denied. There is only one truth no matter what you may personally believe.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of, there are no “alternative facts” only facts. There is only one truth, it is only true, or not true. The sooner we all realise this the better off we will all be.
The sooner you realise this fundamental truth about reality, the sooner you will learn to become a thinking human being.
As for the rest of this stuff, I will keep contemplating it so you don’t have to.
Some of my other important contemplations that I am still working on include, why is it that a USB connector is designed to only go in one way, but you have to flip it around three times before it finally goes in? and why is it that they keep looking for Big Foot, but never seem to find one, either living or dead?
As Always,
I Am…..
Thomas Dyson
This article is an original work of satire and is based on actual news events. Become a follower today to be one of the first to be notified when new articles are posted. Share this article with all your friends on social media or just shout it from the rooftops.
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