NY State Bank VP Joseph Talbot Nominated For Idiot Of The Year!
Once in a great while, there comes a news story that absolutely demands my attention, this story is one of them. Joseph Talbot might as well as called me personally on the phone and begged me to write about this. I can imagine a phone call that went something like this:
Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring.
Joseph Talbot: Is this Tom Dye, The Safety Guy?
Me: Yes, it is what can I do for you?
Joseph Talbot: My name is Joseph Talbot. Are you the content creator for profoundrevelations.com?
Me: Yes I am.
Joseph Talbot: I am the VP of a bank in upper New York State.
Me: I’m sorry to interrupt, but whatever your selling, I am really not interested.
Joseph Talbot: No I can assure you I am not selling anything.You see, I am an idiot, and I deserve whatever wrath you may want to pile on me because of my stupid actions. It’s kind of a long story, are you interested in hearing about it?
Me: Now, you have my full attention. Please, go on?
Joseph Talbot: Well it all started when……
You get the idea so I’m going to get right to it.
You see Joseph Talbot a VP for a bank in Wayne County in Upper New Your State.
Joseph Talbot is not just any idiot, he is an idiot extraordinaire. This fact is what brought him to my attention in the first place.
Joseph Talbot’s absurd story began at 10:07 PM, on December 29, 2016. According to The New York State Police press release dated December 31, 2016;
“On December 29, 2016 at 10:07 pm, Troopers arrested Joseph Talbot, 43 of Newark, NY for driving while intoxicated following a vehicle and traffic complaint of an erratic operator all over the road and for failing to keep right and moving from lane unsafely. Talbot was stopped on SR-31 in the Town of Palmyra for failure to keep right and moving from lane unsafely. Talbot was placed under arrest after failing multiple SFSTs and transported to SP Lyons for processing”
Nothing special about this at all. This exact same sort of scenario happens dozens and dozens of times every day all across the country. In most cases, if you were a politician or a business executive you would issue some sort of bullshit statement of contrition and certainly, the required expressing of remorse, belief in God and family and apologize for your careless actions. And furthermore, this was an isolated incident, and it would never, ever, happen again. Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.
But, if this is where the story ended, Mr. Joseph Talbot would not have been nominated for the idiot of the year. OH NO, my friends it get’s much, much, more absurd. This is where this story actually begins.
As was further noted in The New York State Police press release;
“Talbot refused to provide a breath sample and further refused to be fingerprinted and photographed because he did not wish to appear in the local paper”.
Of course, Joseph Talbot was eventually fingerprinted, photographed and booked. Here’s the Wayne County jail booking photo.
Our hapless hero, Mr. Joseph Talbot, after receiving a free ride to the State Police Barracks called a State Police Officer an “asshole” and refused to be fingerprinted or photographed (Like he actually had a choice in the matter). You see he was convinced that the local paper, The Wayne County Times would use this information and publish his photo and arrest information to ruin him and his family.
And this is where his trouble really begins. Mr. Talbot was so concerned about having his fingerprints and photograph taken because the local paper might pick it up and ruin him and his family, completely overlooked the glaring fact that he was already arrested for drunk driving. As if not having your photograph taken would somehow mitigate this fact. Not to mention that he had already dug himself in even deeper by failing several roadside sobriety tests, and refusing to take a breathalyzer test.
To put it bluntly, Joseph Talbot was already screwed. But did he just accept his fate, hire an Attorney, and move on from there? OH NO!
As was further stated in the New York State Trooper’s press release;
Talbot was subsequently charged with Obstructing Governmental Administration 2nd for failure to comply with the processing procedure”.
According to the Wayne County Times, Talbot “was additionally charged with misdemeanor Obstruction of Governmental Administration in the 2nd Degree, along with the DWI and traffic violations.
Talbot was arraigned and remanded to jail on $750 cash/$1500 bond to reappear in Palmyra Town Court on February 1st. He was also issued an appearance ticket for Lyons Town Court on the Obstruction charge”.
For most of us, we would have learned the error of our ways and moved on from there. Even idiots know when the battle is lost right? Not Mr. Talbot though.
Upon being released on $750.00 cash bail Joseph Talbot set out upon a mission of fools, or idiots in this case. Joseph Talbot had a plan. After release on $760.00 cash bail, our hero caught wind that The Wayne County Times was indeed going to publish his story in its January 2, 2016, edition Mr. Talbot hatched his ill-fated plan.
On the day that the story was to be published in The Times, Joseph Talbot put his plan into action. Instead of the usual tried and true, contrition, remorse, God and family routine, Mr. Talbot decided to take a road less traveled so to speak.
Mr. Talbot got up early and in an attempt to keep the story from getting out proceeded to go to every convenience store and retailer he could find and buy up every copy of the paper he could find.
After numerous stops, Joseph Talbot was actually able to purchase 900 copies of The Wayne County Times. Seriously 900 copies. Considering that The Wayne County Times only has a circulation of 12,000 this was quite a feat and expensive one at that.
Seriously, he actually did this. Think about it, at a newsstand price of $1.25 an issue, that comes to a grand total of $1,125.00.
Considering that The Wayne County Times hs an average circulation of 12,000 copies as well as an internet site, this was a fool’s errand at best. Besides, The Times replaced the sold out issues at its retailers thus increasing The Times circulation to new levels. Hell, this issue may have been their best-selling issue ever.
Here’s a link to The Wayne County Times story—>Here.
Not to mention the fact that thisnow became a national news story as well as a story featured on; profoundrevelations.com. Who knew?
Obviously, Joseph Talbot’s plan didn’t work and that is why he is Profound Revelations; 2016’s Idiot Of The Year.
So to you, Joseph Talbot I take my hat off to you. Well played, Joseph Talbot, Well played indeed. You deserve every bit of fame that comes with this great honor.
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This is an original work of news commentary, and satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.