I want to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat, I am an enigma, and believe it or not, a vast amount of people consider me to be a world-renowned scholar of esoteric knowledge, I contemplate things that many would not or could not dare to think about.
Being a scholar of esoteric knowledge I have lived my entire life based on the profound wisdom of John Houseman, who once said, ” A wise man believes only in lies, trusts only the absurd and learns to expect the unexpected”
So, because of all this, I find myself thinking about a lot of things that most people probably haven’t even considered thinking about before. I am going to share a few of these thoughts with you to see what you think. Feel free to comment on any one of (or all) these profound revelations.
Please remember all these opinions are mine, and mine alone, and are not meant to disrespect anyone’s personal beliefs or philosophy in life. If you are offended, by my opinions and my beliefs then you should stop reading this article right now.
Life & Death
The Afterlife
I hear religious people all the time talking about the glorious afterlife they’re going to have after death. Really? How do you know that? What if you’re wrong? Just saying. I know one thing for certain, believe me, I have thought about this a lot. “Life is a sure thing, and death is definitely to uncertain for my liking”. I equate this to someone who is relying on winning the lottery as their retirement plan., the odds are totally against you. You may want to have a plan B, just in case Plan A, doesn’t work out
I don’t know about you, but not one person that I have ever known, or even ever heard of that had died, has ever come back, appeared to me, came to me in a dream, or anything else for that matter, and extolled the virtues of being dead, and how awesome the afterlife is, and encouraged me to try it for myself.
Think about that for a moment. Although, I have had living people tell me that I should just die, or that I should just kill myself. Obviously, I didn’t listen to them and don’t plan to, not now and not ever.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking right about now. “You have to have faith and you have to believe with all your heart”. OK, I get that. I have heard this literally uncountable times before.
Here is something to consider, I had a good really good friend Brad, (who by the way has also passed away, and has also never tried to contact me from beyond the grave either). Anyway, Brad believed with his entire being that aliens would never allow a nuclear war to occur between nations on Earth and they would immediately intervene if one was imminent. He had absolute unshakable faith in this and believed it with all his heart.
I know this first hand, as Brad and me, discussed this topic on numerous occasions. Brad never wavered in his belief, or for that matter ever produced any kind of proof, or any kind of evidence that this was actually the case, not an alien manifesto, or any proof at all. I personally thought that this was not something that I would want to rely on in the brink of a nuclear war.
I had serious concerns, what if the unspecified aliens were on vacation, stuck in trans-galactic traffic, or were asleep when a nuclear war on earth started. I mentioned my concerns to Brad, and he was still supremely confident and absolutely believed that the aliens would intervene and that I was foolish to be concerned at all.
So who’s right? and who’s wrong? That’s the part I am still contemplating.
Did you know that 80% of Evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump? I would be really interested in knowing how anyone could possibly unite, or find common ground between these two opposing forces. I do know that I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one, no matter how much I think about it.
According to evangelical Christianity, If an atheist lived a good life, helped the poor and disadvantaged, did not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, essentially lived a good upstanding life by any measure but somehow failed to accept Jesus Christ before his/her death, they would be condemned to hell.
However, if Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, or Ted Bundy, did accept Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness before their deaths, they would all go to heaven. I am sorry but this just sounds absurd.
Scientologists
Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard, a somewhat well-known “Science Fiction author”.
According to dummies.com “Scientologists believe that people are immortal alien beings (called thetans) who have forgotten their true nature and are trapped on earth in a human body. Scientologists believe that each thetan has lived numerous past lives, both on earth in our physical bodies, and on other planets. Scientologists also believe that by undergoing a series of classes and teachings (called auditing by the church), people can free themselves of their human form and reclaim their true selves.
Seriously? I think I’ve read the book and it ends badly for your bank account.
Here’s what I believe, as the great philosopher Forrest Gump once said, “Stupid is what stupid does” and “That’s all I have to say about that”.
Science
Gravity
People generally agree that the discovery of “Gravity” is one of the most fundamentally important discoveries of all time. First, Issac Newton, but he was wrong, and then Albert Einstein finally described the fundamental concept of “Gravity” as we know it today.
I want to put forth the idea that this was actually not as big a deal as people make it out to be. You see, gravity is always there, even on holidays, overnight, and the weekends. Someone would have discovered gravity sooner or later anyway. Seriously this seems pretty obvious to me.
Climate Change
99.9% of scientists and scientific bodies around the world tell us that climate change is real and is being caused by mankind because of our industrial activities. I accept their findings. After all, I am not a climate scientist.
The part of climate change that I to contemplate is the thinking of those who deny it’s real. Virtually all climate change deniers start their denial with, “I am not a scientist, but…..”
That’s right you are not a scientist Bozo, so who are you to refute them with your own bullshit. Donald Trump says that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. What????
Sarah Palin is another climate change denier, so that should tell you everything you need to know.
Personally, I’m with the scientists on this one.
Discovering America
When I went to school they taught us that Christopher Columbus discovered America. No, he did not! The Americas were always there. Columbus was actually sailing for the West Indies, but being the really piss poor sailor that he was, he made a wrong turn and ran right smack into America. So, Christopher “Wrong Way”Columbus made a wrong turn, and somehow “discovered” something that was there all along. I mean seriously, it’s not like you could miss it or anything. Columbus was way, way, overrated. Not to mention the fact that he was an asshole, and a slaver.
Hell, the way I see it, “Gilligans Island” had a more believable plotline than Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Aliens (Extraterrestrial Life)
I have been thinking about this for a very long time now. When I talk about aliens I am referring to the kind from another planet, not to be confused with undocumented people from one country living in another country without permission.
We seem to have two kinds of supposed alien visitations. The first type is where alien beings visit some poor uneducated fool named Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, abduct him against his will give him some sort of inexplicable anal probe, release him and go on their merry way.
This makes no sense on several levels. How many anal probes would alien beings require from human beings? and what would be the ultimate purpose?
I would think that if alien beings wanted to reveal themselves to Earth they most likely would not appear to Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, they would be a lot more effective landing at Central Park in NYC, at noon on a Saturday, where thousands of people would see them. Not to mention the fact that this would be a lot better place to gather their anal probe data as they could collect hundreds at once. I would be willing to bet that they could find several people who would even volunteer for anal probing.
The other type of alien sighting consists of either coloured lights in the night sky or supposed video of some sort of alien craft just buzzing the Earth. I often wonder if aliens just buzz the planet just to fuck with us for fun?
According to the theory of Occam’s razor, with two facts being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
Unidentified lights in the sky, or (usually fuzzy images) of unusually shaped craft flying over someplace seems like a stretch from other more simple explanations.
I do believe that considering that there are literally billions of planets and galaxies out there that there is certainly a great probability that there are other forms of life somewhere in the universe. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not have any proof to support this belief, this is just a very strong statistical probability.
Here’s something to contemplate. I am going to science the shit out of this one, so hang on. The closest star (another sun) from Earth is 4.24 light years away. It is a binary star system and Faint Proxima Centauri is the closest one.
A light-year is a distance that light travels in one year. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – E = mc2 this equates to 186,000 miles per second. To put this into perspective that means that if you could travel the speed of light, it would mean that you could travel from Earth to the Moon in 1.3 seconds. Also, according to the Einstein’s relativity, one cannot travel at, or faster than the speed of light.
So, by the laws of physics, as we understand it, travelling at .99% the speed of light, it would take an alien race sometime more than 4.24 years each way just to reach Earth. Of course, because of time dilation, they would only experience a trip of only about 14 days, while 4.24 years would have passed on Faint Proxima Centauri.
So, ignoring pesky things like having to slow down, orbital mechanics, and everything else, If aliens left Faint Proxima Centauri at,99% the speed of light somehow slingshot around the Earth and go right back home. These alien astronauts would have aged only about 24 days while everyone else on their planet would have aged 8.48 years. BAM! Mic drop!
What that means is either extraterrestrial aliens have either discovered other laws of physics and technologies that we don’t have any understanding or comprehension of, which is not beyond the realm of possibility, or it could be that we are just separated by too vast distances to ever meet or have any meaningful communication.
Let’s just imagine for a moment that an alien culture only 4.24 light years away sent us a modulated communication by a powerful laser. Assuming that we could even understand the message, and answer it right away, the message would take 4,24 years to get here and another 4.24 more years before they got our response. Just saying hello to each other would take 8.48 years. A generation would have lived and died before any sort of meaningful communication would have occurred.
I am going to be thinking about this one for quite a long time.
Our own solar system is vast. For all the science geeks out there like me here is a fascinating video that illustrates, in real-time, the journey of a photon of light emitted from the surface of the sun and travelling across a portion of our solar system, from a human perspective.
Fake News and Alternative Facts
This is one area where I attempt to contemplate some sort of meaning but somehow I always fail miserably. Although that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Did you know that pollsters recently did a survey where they talked to lots of people and presented them with a conspiracy theory without any basis in fact or offering any proof and a full 33% of the people believed them without question?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Whatever happened to critical thinking? What I find interesting is how the 33% of the people who obviously believes anything, without proof or basis, in fact, or reality, is about the same percentage of people who voted for Donald Trump.
Is this a coincidence? Who knows. Although I believe that there is a strong probability that this is actually the case that 33% of the people are actually morons who will believe anything, without proof, or facts, no matter how absurd it might be.
I actually had a friend tell me recently that Breitbart news was going to be the “new” New York Times. Are you fucking kidding me? The New York Times is a Pulitzer prize winning news source. Breitbart news, not so much.
Donald trump recently tweeted that NY Times, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CNN News are enemies of the American People. This is incredibly dangerous and is certainly just Trump’s propaganda. Just because mainstream news organisations report his own words or report actual news that is critical of him or his policies does not make them enemies of the American people it just makes them news organisations doing their jobs as journalists.
Conversely, if the mainstream news organisations mentioned above are enemies of the American people, then that would infer that biased or outright fake news sites e.g.- FOX News, Breitbart, Infowars, or the Drudge Report are not. Sadly, people actually buy into these alternative facts.
The main issue that I try to contemplate is why? Another important question is why do people vote against their own interests?
I listen to NPR three hours per day, read the Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, Bloomberg, NY Times, Washington Post,and Politico every day to try to get a good understanding of events and to try see if there is a consensus regarding the day’s news events. Notice that the common thread between all of these news sites is that they are all award-winning mainstream news sources.
I am still stunned when I wear my NPR tee-shirt that Trump supporters will point to it and say that NPR is a liberal news organisation. Seriously??? NPR is about as fair and balanced as you can get and they always present both sides in every news story they produce, and furthermore, NPR doe’s not provide any sort of commentary one way or the other, they present the facts from both sides and leave it up to you to decide for yourself where you stand on the issues at hand. Isn’t this what real journalism is all about?
Since when did NPR suddenly become the enemy, or somehow become a liberal news source? They haven’t, and I can’t imagine that they ever will be.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Democracy is founded upon a well-educated population” He was right then, and he is, even more, right today. The internet and fake news sources have enabled people to validate their own beliefs regardless if they are true or not.
I get it, It is really hard for some people to change their belief systems when confronted with indisputable facts to the contrary. However, as human beings, this is how life is. The real truth of reality is not what you want it, or believe it to be. Reality is what it is, and will find a way to reassert itself with a vengeance the longer it is denied. There is only one truth no matter what you may personally believe.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of, there are no “alternative facts” only facts. There is only one truth, it is only true, or not true. The sooner we all realise this the better off we will all be.
The sooner you realise this fundamental truth about reality, the sooner you will learn to become a thinking human being.
As for the rest of this stuff, I will keep contemplating it so you don’t have to.
Some of my other important contemplations that I am still working on include, why is it that a USB connector is designed to only go in one way, but you have to flip it around three times before it finally goes in? and why is it that they keep looking for Big Foot, but never seem to find one, either living or dead?
As Always,
I Am…..
Thomas Dyson
This article is an original work of satire and is based on actual news events. Become a follower today to be one of the first to be notified when new articles are posted. Share this article with all your friends on social media or just shout it from the rooftops.
Revenge of The Clowns, And The New GOP Presidential Circus!
The Barnum & Baily Circus may be ending its 124 year run in May 2017, but the circus isn’t over yet, not by a long run my friends. Due to unpopular demand, the circus has reformed and set up their big top in Washington, D.C. for an open-ended limited engagement in our nation’s capitol.
All New GOP Presidential Circus
OH!, and great news the elephants, and the amazing freak show are back as well. Tickets are on sale right now!
Let’s meet the brand new cast of characters. You will truly be horrified, thrilled, and amazed.
First, the Russian-GOP Circus has a brand new head clown. I am truly excited about this one.
First up, meet, Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Presidential Clown.
Braggadocious Blowhard Trump the Russian Clown
Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the Russian Clown – Is a former reality TV star and pretends to be a billionaire. He gives a somewhat erratic performance and has multiple routines which include; racist, xenophobic, bigoted, misogynistic, authoritarian, homophobic, rants and raves to the delight of the crowds. What’s really hilarious, he also pretends to be in charge, and as an extra bonus, he has a very active, alternative facts, Twitter account.
Believe me, when I say that you will not be disappointed with his wacky rants coupled with his sixth-grade vocabulary, this is family fun at it’s best. He is absolutely destined to be a crowd favourite. Personally, I believe his denial of the Russian collusion routine is especially entertaining.
Next meet, The Ring Master, Comrade Manafort
Ring Master Comrade Manafort
The Ring Master, Comrade Paul Manafort – Comrade Manafort has deep Russian ties and is responsible for getting the long-term booking of the GOP Circus to Washington, D.C. Comrade Manafort and his Russian pals helped Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Clown, and arranged for his long-term engagement in Washington, D.C. as well as the return of the elephants, and the freak show. On top ot that, Comrade Manafort also arranged for a brand new big top tent, the biggest, most beautiful big top tent ever built.
The Ringmaster, Comrade Paul Manafort, also has an amazing act where he launders piles of dirty money and makes it disappear it right before your eyes. It really is mind-boggling. Once again, it’s really good fun for the entire family.
Next Up, meet Comrade Stone, the Magnificant.
Comrade Stone the Magnificent
I can’t say enough about Comrade Stone The Magnificent’s act. He is another one from the Russian contingent of the Presidential GOP Circus. Comrade Stone the Magnificent is a mentalist. This guy tries to make you believe anything. He will attempt to make you believe that the sky is red, trees are blue, up is down, and down is up. He is truly amazing. Just beware that your sense of reality will be severely challenged after watching his act. I will say that his act is probably inappropriate for the un-educated as well as small children.
And now for my favourite part of the GOP Presidential Circus, THE GOP PRESIDENTIAL CIRCUS FREAK SHOW. I love the freak show, it has been missing from the GOP Presidential Circus for years, but now it’s back. I am getting my tickets as soon as I can. I am not going to miss this. This is a once in a lifetime event.
Let’s meet the freak show, The Circus Barker, is Sean “The Lapdog” Spicer. This guy is one of my favourites.
Profound Revelations is proud to bring you exclusive video of one of his recent performances.
This is the ultimate in family entertainment.The GOP Presidential Circus couldn’t have picked a better Circus Barker than Sean, “The Lapdog” Spicer. This guy calls it like it is, not matter how outrageous his statements may be.
And now for my absolute favourite member of the GOP Presidential Circus Freak Show. Meet Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway.
Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway
Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway – is just like Wonder Woman, she can deflect anything and everything directed at her, watch her carefully as she twists and ties herself up in knots to avoid answering any question throws at her. Her performance is truly mind boggling.
Here’s another exclusive video from Profound Revelations that will give you a feel for just how awesome her act is.
And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the return of the GOP Presidential Circus Elephants. There are a lot of Elephants in this new version of the GOP Presidential Circus.
GOP Elephants
There are many more characters, such as, Michael “Flim Flam” Flynn, Devin “The Collusionist” Nunes, and many others, but I don’t want to give away the entire secret of the GOP Presidential Circus.
Buy your tickets now as the GOP Presidential Circus full run is in doubt, as uncertain economic factors may force an early impeachment or mass resignations.
Unfortunately, the GOP Presidential Circus may have to close early, so buy your tickets right now, and don’t miss out on this amazing family fun, suitable for all ages, See the GOP Presidential Circus now before it closes, and is gone forever.
The Cast of the GOP Presidential Circus
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This article is a work of satire, and news commentary, by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy and is based upon personal opinion and published news stories. The names have not been changed and the innocent will be determined in a court of law.
Sign up as a subscriber today, If you want to be one of the first to receive notifications when new articles are posted. We will never, sell, or give away your email address for any reason whatsoever.
Don’t get me wrong, I have a Twitter account. You can feel free to follow me any anytime. My Twitter handle is: @NeutronTom.
Twitter is great for sharing a YouTube video, or a link to a news story, or even a short question, statement, or announcement.
However, in the wrong hands, Twitter is dangerous. Twitter sucks when it comes to conveying emotion, background, or complex ideas. After all, how much detail can you convey when you are constrained to 140 characters?
Think about it for a moment how much complex thought, facts, and an intelligent argument can you get across to others when you have to carefully parse your words to 140 characters or less?
I don’t know about you, but it takes me more than 140 characters just to get the basic concept of exactly what you are trying to tell me.
(By the way, the above sentence took 139 characters just for me to convey a simple point on my thought processes.)
As an example of where reality slams headlong to the absurd let’s take a look at recent from tweets from Donald Trump. This is one person who consistently proves beyond a reasonable doubt that Twitter is dangerous.
(1) Donald J. Trump
Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!
04 Mar 2017, 6:35 AM – 4 Mar 2017
(2) Donald J. Trump
Is it legal for a sitting President to be “wire tapping” a race for president prior to an election? Turned down by court earlier. A NEW LOW!
4 Mar 2017, 6:45 AM
(3) Donald J. Trump
How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!
04 Mar 2017, 7:02 AM
Wow! these three tweets comprising a total of 420 characters (including spaces) are allegations of a huge political and legal bombshell. If true, this would be a bigger scandal than Watergate during the downfall of the Nixon Presidency. No, actually that’s wrong. Because of laws passed since The Nixon Watergate scandal, if true, this would be the biggest political scandal in modern times.
Let that sink in for a moment. A sitting President accuses the former President of serious crimes without proof or evidence, all in series of three tweets for a grand total of 420 characters.
Now let’s remove the Twitter character limit and imagine a statement which included the full details and background and see if it makes any more sense.
(Donald Trump’s full statement) – I can tell you I am really disturbed. The other night I was listening to The Alex Jones show you know that right-wing Conspiracy show and Alex was talking about how former President Obama personally tapped my phones at Trump Tower. This story was picked up the very next day by the website Breitbart News, you know the Alt Right fake news website.
This is outrageous and total McCarthyism. I have said this like a million times, just because virtually every one of my high-level campaign aides and even at least two of my cabinet officials met with Russian Intelligence Officers and the Russian Ambassador. Hell, my Son -in-law Justin Kushner and my now former National Intelligence Director, Michael Flynn even met with The Russian Ambassador at trump Tower. But like I said it was really nothing, and I know absolutely nothing about it. Believe me when I tell you this is nothing more than fake news.
Is it even legal for a sitting President to wire tap another Presidential candidate? I mean this is total nonsense that the Russians interfered with the election just to help me win is total nonsense. By the way Thank You, Vlad. I mean seriously, our intelligence agencies don’t really know. I mean I know a lot more than them when it comes to intelligence, after all, I have a very good brain.
Believe me, it’s true when I said that this was actually a 400-pound guy living in his mother’s basement in New Jersey and we will be presenting evidence to the congress in the near future.
Obama is a bad or sick guy and I am making it my life’s mission to destroy him, both politically, and personally, because he made fun of me at the White House Correspondence Dinner in 2011.
Stay tuned folks as we are going to prove that not only did Obama personally tap my wires at Trump Tower, Obama and the U.S. Intelligence community made up all these so called Russian connections just because they are all Democrats and sore losers.
And furthermore, I am going to present evidence to congress that proves that I actually won the popular vote fair and square as well. Those so called 2.88 million more people that supposedly voted for Hillary Clinton were all illegal votes from undocumented illegal immigrants and people who were bussed in by the thousands by bus from Massachusetts to New Hampshire or Vermont to vote illegally.
Just like my inaugural crowd was by far the biggest in U.S. history. Obama supporters in the U.S. Parks Department doctored the photos just to make me look bad. Believe me, I was there the crowd was yuggeeee!
I will sue everyone involved, just wait and see. Believe me.
God bless me and the United States of America.
(Donald Trump, 4:37 AM, from the Florida Whitehouse at Mar a Lago)
As the late Paul Harvey used to say; “Now You Know The Rest Of The Story”.
Is Twitter dangerous? I believe that for a lot of people it truly is. Only you can decide. Follow me on Twitter (@NeutronTom) to find out for yourself.
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This essay and news commentary is an original work of satire by; Tom Dye, The Safety Guy. Become a follower today by subscribing to profoundrevelations.com and you will receive updates alerting you to our new original content as soon as it’s posted. What do you have to lose? It’s free.
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
By Tom Dye
On April 15, 2017
In Humanity, News Commentary, Opinion, Satire, Tales of the Absurd
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
I want to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat, I am an enigma, and believe it or not, a vast amount of people consider me to be a world-renowned scholar of esoteric knowledge, I contemplate things that many would not or could not dare to think about.
Being a scholar of esoteric knowledge I have lived my entire life based on the profound wisdom of John Houseman, who once said, ” A wise man believes only in lies, trusts only the absurd and learns to expect the unexpected”
So, because of all this, I find myself thinking about a lot of things that most people probably haven’t even considered thinking about before. I am going to share a few of these thoughts with you to see what you think. Feel free to comment on any one of (or all) these profound revelations.
Please remember all these opinions are mine, and mine alone, and are not meant to disrespect anyone’s personal beliefs or philosophy in life. If you are offended, by my opinions and my beliefs then you should stop reading this article right now.
Life & Death
The Afterlife
I hear religious people all the time talking about the glorious afterlife they’re going to have after death. Really? How do you know that? What if you’re wrong? Just saying. I know one thing for certain, believe me, I have thought about this a lot. “Life is a sure thing, and death is definitely to uncertain for my liking”. I equate this to someone who is relying on winning the lottery as their retirement plan., the odds are totally against you. You may want to have a plan B, just in case Plan A, doesn’t work out
I don’t know about you, but not one person that I have ever known, or even ever heard of that had died, has ever come back, appeared to me, came to me in a dream, or anything else for that matter, and extolled the virtues of being dead, and how awesome the afterlife is, and encouraged me to try it for myself.
Think about that for a moment. Although, I have had living people tell me that I should just die, or that I should just kill myself. Obviously, I didn’t listen to them and don’t plan to, not now and not ever.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking right about now. “You have to have faith and you have to believe with all your heart”. OK, I get that. I have heard this literally uncountable times before.
Here is something to consider, I had a good really good friend Brad, (who by the way has also passed away, and has also never tried to contact me from beyond the grave either). Anyway, Brad believed with his entire being that aliens would never allow a nuclear war to occur between nations on Earth and they would immediately intervene if one was imminent. He had absolute unshakable faith in this and believed it with all his heart.
I know this first hand, as Brad and me, discussed this topic on numerous occasions. Brad never wavered in his belief, or for that matter ever produced any kind of proof, or any kind of evidence that this was actually the case, not an alien manifesto, or any proof at all. I personally thought that this was not something that I would want to rely on in the brink of a nuclear war.
I had serious concerns, what if the unspecified aliens were on vacation, stuck in trans-galactic traffic, or were asleep when a nuclear war on earth started. I mentioned my concerns to Brad, and he was still supremely confident and absolutely believed that the aliens would intervene and that I was foolish to be concerned at all.
So who’s right? and who’s wrong? That’s the part I am still contemplating.
Did you know that 80% of Evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump? I would be really interested in knowing how anyone could possibly unite, or find common ground between these two opposing forces. I do know that I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one, no matter how much I think about it.
According to evangelical Christianity, If an atheist lived a good life, helped the poor and disadvantaged, did not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, essentially lived a good upstanding life by any measure but somehow failed to accept Jesus Christ before his/her death, they would be condemned to hell.
However, if Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, or Ted Bundy, did accept Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness before their deaths, they would all go to heaven. I am sorry but this just sounds absurd.
Scientologists
Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard, a somewhat well-known “Science Fiction author”.
According to dummies.com “Scientologists believe that people are immortal alien beings (called thetans) who have forgotten their true nature and are trapped on earth in a human body. Scientologists believe that each thetan has lived numerous past lives, both on earth in our physical bodies, and on other planets. Scientologists also believe that by undergoing a series of classes and teachings (called auditing by the church), people can free themselves of their human form and reclaim their true selves.
Seriously? I think I’ve read the book and it ends badly for your bank account.
Here’s what I believe, as the great philosopher Forrest Gump once said, “Stupid is what stupid does” and “That’s all I have to say about that”.
Science
Gravity
People generally agree that the discovery of “Gravity” is one of the most fundamentally important discoveries of all time. First, Issac Newton, but he was wrong, and then Albert Einstein finally described the fundamental concept of “Gravity” as we know it today.
I want to put forth the idea that this was actually not as big a deal as people make it out to be. You see, gravity is always there, even on holidays, overnight, and the weekends. Someone would have discovered gravity sooner or later anyway. Seriously this seems pretty obvious to me.
Climate Change
99.9% of scientists and scientific bodies around the world tell us that climate change is real and is being caused by mankind because of our industrial activities. I accept their findings. After all, I am not a climate scientist.
The part of climate change that I to contemplate is the thinking of those who deny it’s real. Virtually all climate change deniers start their denial with, “I am not a scientist, but…..”
That’s right you are not a scientist Bozo, so who are you to refute them with your own bullshit. Donald Trump says that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. What????
Sarah Palin is another climate change denier, so that should tell you everything you need to know.
Personally, I’m with the scientists on this one.
Discovering America
When I went to school they taught us that Christopher Columbus discovered America. No, he did not! The Americas were always there. Columbus was actually sailing for the West Indies, but being the really piss poor sailor that he was, he made a wrong turn and ran right smack into America. So, Christopher “Wrong Way”Columbus made a wrong turn, and somehow “discovered” something that was there all along. I mean seriously, it’s not like you could miss it or anything. Columbus was way, way, overrated. Not to mention the fact that he was an asshole, and a slaver.
Hell, the way I see it, “Gilligans Island” had a more believable plotline than Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Aliens (Extraterrestrial Life)
I have been thinking about this for a very long time now. When I talk about aliens I am referring to the kind from another planet, not to be confused with undocumented people from one country living in another country without permission.
We seem to have two kinds of supposed alien visitations. The first type is where alien beings visit some poor uneducated fool named Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, abduct him against his will give him some sort of inexplicable anal probe, release him and go on their merry way.
This makes no sense on several levels. How many anal probes would alien beings require from human beings? and what would be the ultimate purpose?
I would think that if alien beings wanted to reveal themselves to Earth they most likely would not appear to Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, they would be a lot more effective landing at Central Park in NYC, at noon on a Saturday, where thousands of people would see them. Not to mention the fact that this would be a lot better place to gather their anal probe data as they could collect hundreds at once. I would be willing to bet that they could find several people who would even volunteer for anal probing.
The other type of alien sighting consists of either coloured lights in the night sky or supposed video of some sort of alien craft just buzzing the Earth. I often wonder if aliens just buzz the planet just to fuck with us for fun?
According to the theory of Occam’s razor, with two facts being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
Unidentified lights in the sky, or (usually fuzzy images) of unusually shaped craft flying over someplace seems like a stretch from other more simple explanations.
I do believe that considering that there are literally billions of planets and galaxies out there that there is certainly a great probability that there are other forms of life somewhere in the universe. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not have any proof to support this belief, this is just a very strong statistical probability.
Here’s something to contemplate. I am going to science the shit out of this one, so hang on. The closest star (another sun) from Earth is 4.24 light years away. It is a binary star system and Faint Proxima Centauri is the closest one.
A light-year is a distance that light travels in one year. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – E = mc2 this equates to 186,000 miles per second. To put this into perspective that means that if you could travel the speed of light, it would mean that you could travel from Earth to the Moon in 1.3 seconds. Also, according to the Einstein’s relativity, one cannot travel at, or faster than the speed of light.
So, by the laws of physics, as we understand it, travelling at .99% the speed of light, it would take an alien race sometime more than 4.24 years each way just to reach Earth. Of course, because of time dilation, they would only experience a trip of only about 14 days, while 4.24 years would have passed on Faint Proxima Centauri.
So, ignoring pesky things like having to slow down, orbital mechanics, and everything else, If aliens left Faint Proxima Centauri at,99% the speed of light somehow slingshot around the Earth and go right back home. These alien astronauts would have aged only about 24 days while everyone else on their planet would have aged 8.48 years. BAM! Mic drop!
What that means is either extraterrestrial aliens have either discovered other laws of physics and technologies that we don’t have any understanding or comprehension of, which is not beyond the realm of possibility, or it could be that we are just separated by too vast distances to ever meet or have any meaningful communication.
Let’s just imagine for a moment that an alien culture only 4.24 light years away sent us a modulated communication by a powerful laser. Assuming that we could even understand the message, and answer it right away, the message would take 4,24 years to get here and another 4.24 more years before they got our response. Just saying hello to each other would take 8.48 years. A generation would have lived and died before any sort of meaningful communication would have occurred.
I am going to be thinking about this one for quite a long time.
Our own solar system is vast. For all the science geeks out there like me here is a fascinating video that illustrates, in real-time, the journey of a photon of light emitted from the surface of the sun and travelling across a portion of our solar system, from a human perspective.
Fake News and Alternative Facts
This is one area where I attempt to contemplate some sort of meaning but somehow I always fail miserably. Although that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Did you know that pollsters recently did a survey where they talked to lots of people and presented them with a conspiracy theory without any basis in fact or offering any proof and a full 33% of the people believed them without question?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Whatever happened to critical thinking? What I find interesting is how the 33% of the people who obviously believes anything, without proof or basis, in fact, or reality, is about the same percentage of people who voted for Donald Trump.
Is this a coincidence? Who knows. Although I believe that there is a strong probability that this is actually the case that 33% of the people are actually morons who will believe anything, without proof, or facts, no matter how absurd it might be.
I actually had a friend tell me recently that Breitbart news was going to be the “new” New York Times. Are you fucking kidding me? The New York Times is a Pulitzer prize winning news source. Breitbart news, not so much.
Donald trump recently tweeted that NY Times, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CNN News are enemies of the American People. This is incredibly dangerous and is certainly just Trump’s propaganda. Just because mainstream news organisations report his own words or report actual news that is critical of him or his policies does not make them enemies of the American people it just makes them news organisations doing their jobs as journalists.
Conversely, if the mainstream news organisations mentioned above are enemies of the American people, then that would infer that biased or outright fake news sites e.g.- FOX News, Breitbart, Infowars, or the Drudge Report are not. Sadly, people actually buy into these alternative facts.
The main issue that I try to contemplate is why? Another important question is why do people vote against their own interests?
I listen to NPR three hours per day, read the Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, Bloomberg, NY Times, Washington Post,and Politico every day to try to get a good understanding of events and to try see if there is a consensus regarding the day’s news events. Notice that the common thread between all of these news sites is that they are all award-winning mainstream news sources.
I am still stunned when I wear my NPR tee-shirt that Trump supporters will point to it and say that NPR is a liberal news organisation. Seriously??? NPR is about as fair and balanced as you can get and they always present both sides in every news story they produce, and furthermore, NPR doe’s not provide any sort of commentary one way or the other, they present the facts from both sides and leave it up to you to decide for yourself where you stand on the issues at hand. Isn’t this what real journalism is all about?
Since when did NPR suddenly become the enemy, or somehow become a liberal news source? They haven’t, and I can’t imagine that they ever will be.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Democracy is founded upon a well-educated population” He was right then, and he is, even more, right today. The internet and fake news sources have enabled people to validate their own beliefs regardless if they are true or not.
I get it, It is really hard for some people to change their belief systems when confronted with indisputable facts to the contrary. However, as human beings, this is how life is. The real truth of reality is not what you want it, or believe it to be. Reality is what it is, and will find a way to reassert itself with a vengeance the longer it is denied. There is only one truth no matter what you may personally believe.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of, there are no “alternative facts” only facts. There is only one truth, it is only true, or not true. The sooner we all realise this the better off we will all be.
The sooner you realise this fundamental truth about reality, the sooner you will learn to become a thinking human being.
As for the rest of this stuff, I will keep contemplating it so you don’t have to.
Some of my other important contemplations that I am still working on include, why is it that a USB connector is designed to only go in one way, but you have to flip it around three times before it finally goes in? and why is it that they keep looking for Big Foot, but never seem to find one, either living or dead?
As Always,
I Am…..
Thomas Dyson
This article is an original work of satire and is based on actual news events. Become a follower today to be one of the first to be notified when new articles are posted. Share this article with all your friends on social media or just shout it from the rooftops.
Share this: Story
Like this: