PROFOUND REVELATIONS

Foul smell leads police to dismembered wife.  Obviously, we have all read stories similar to this one. The neighbors start to smell the very distinctive odor of decaying flesh. You all know what this odor smells like right? There is nothing in the world quite like it.

Anyway, the odor of decaying flesh starts to become more pervasive, even outdoors. The neighbors become concerned, and obviously irritated because of the smell, they start looking around, but are unable to locate the source of the offensive odor, so of course they call the Police.

Offensive odor

The Police arrive at the scene and since these are trained professionals who graduated from cop school, it did not take them long to determine that the horrible decaying flesh smell was emanating from one particular home. So, as cops often do when they suspect a crime was committed, they knock on the door.

Police Knocking

Believe it or not, the homeowner/murderer at the offensive odor emanating home actually answers the door. If it was me I would have pretended that I was not home. Logic tells me that the odor was suddenly a lot stronger when the door was opened vs. when it was closed. I didn’t even have to graduate from cop school to understand there is something terribly amiss here, I do however, watch some of those CSI type cop shows, So, I suspected right away that this was not going to end well.

Evidently, intelligence is not a requirement to be a hardcore criminal. Seriously, have you ever heard of a NASA rocket scientist being a hardcore criminal? How about a NASA rocket scientist being convicted of a serious crime? No? That’s what I thought too.

I think we can safely assume that highly intelligent, and educated individuals commit a small percentage of crimes. Individuals that do not suffer from the ravages of intelligence, commit a much higher percentage of serious crimes.

On the other hand, there is a third category of people. I like to think that I fall into this group.  I am certainly not a NASA rocket scientist, but I consider myself fairly intelligent, and reasonably educated, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am certainly nowhere near the dullest either. I have a tendency to learn from a combination of experience, and direct observation.

Basically if I observe someone do something really stupid, such as; committing a crime, being dragged through the court system, and ultimately being sentenced to prison, I don’t have to experience this firsthand. I immediately realize that this is not something I care to go through myself.  Basically, I am quite happy to learn from other peoples mistakes. You should try it sometime, I find it works quite well.

So, back to the husband who killed and dismembered his wife. I mean killing ones wife or spouse is certainly not something would I condone under any circumstances. So, what’s this half wit do? He goes a step further, and dismembers her, and stashes her body in the closet. He evidently just leaves her dismembered body there for a very long time.

Closet

OK, lets review a simple biology lesson here. Evidently the wife dismembering husband must have cut these classes all the way through school.

When a biological system dies, whether it be from natural causes, dismembering, or other means, the cells die and, the flesh starts to decompose. This is aided by bacteria, insects, and other natural processes. I think the ancient term that was commonly used was; putrefy.

According to dictionary.com, the definition of putrefy is; Putrefy: (of organic matter) to decompose, or rot with an offensive smell.

Who the fu@k doesn’t know about this? I don’t care how many biology classes you missed, you would have to realize that the longer these body parts sit, the more putrefied they become. In layman terms the smell is going to become unbearable, very, very quickly. This smell is going to permeate the house, and has we previously read, draw the attention of the neighbors, and ultimately the pesky Police.

Glade Air Fresheners

Important Safety Tip: Do not believe everything you see on TV.

OK, I admit it, I just made up the part about the Glade Air Fresheners, there was no mention of anything like that in the original article. But it’s certainly possible, or else why would he leave his dead wife’s dismembered body in the closet for so long?

Actually, I should write to Glade, and suggest just this sort of scenario for their next ad campaign. Now that would be an impressive TV commercial. I can see it now, Glade Air Fresheners cover up the smell of putrefying flesh, or your money back. I’m pretty sure you could tie it into hoards of zombies in the the ad as well. I believe that zombies would smell just as bad. A lot of people really like zombies.

Divorce would have been a hell of a lot easier, and certainly morally more acceptable. On top of that, I highly doubt that NASA will be calling him anytime soon.