Divine Intervention
Seriously, this actually happened to me. As you may have already heard. Believe it or not, I actually did beat Jesus at tournament darts! Yes, you read it correctly, I mean, “That Jesus”, The Son of God, you know, the famous guy with the long brown hair, well groomed beard and mustache, centuries ago, they even wrote a world wide best seller all about him. I won the $25,000 cash prize, and I obviously lived to tell you about it.
I know, you heard all about this on the news, Facebook, as well as all over the internet. Literally, all the local television networks as well as the cable news channels covered it, not to mention NPR and talk radio This was the biggest thing that ever happened in the small town of Brooksville, Florida and eveyone wanted in on it. But, I really wanted you to hear it straight from me, after-all, I was there, and this is my story.
But first let me give you a little background…..
Let me tell you, I really, really, love playing darts, I live to play darts, I have been playing darts for as long as I can remember. After what seemed like a lifetime or two, I actually got to be pretty good, I even started to make some real money at it, not quite enough to pay off my monthly beer tab, but pretty damn close. Eventually, I started entering a few serious dart tournaments and I started winning.
This is where the real story begins…..
You see, I actually made it through to the final qualifying rounds of the, 23rd Annual Brooksville Invitational Darts Tournament. I really felt that I had a decent shot at winning the big $25,000.00 cash prize for first place. I’ve always dreamed of winning one of those really big over-sized checks presented to me, just like you see on TV.
I had been practicing my game diligently every day for months. If you don’t believe me, just check out the wall of my living room, all around my semi-regulation tournament dartboard, it has the battle scars to prove it. You know what I am talking about, all those little holes in the wall around the dart-board from all the missed shots.
The big tournament was finally approaching, I actually felt pretty damn good, I hadn’t made a new hole in the living room wall for quite some time, and my game had been spot on for several weeks, through round after qualifying round.
Unbelievably, I was one of the final twenty contestants. The tournament qualifying rounds started off with well over one hundred fifty contestants, now the finals were finally here. This was the do or die moment. Now, there were only twenty of us left standing.
I can’t really explain it but for the last few days leading up to the tournament, I just knew I was going to win. I felt pretty good, I could feel it, not only that, I could actually taste it. In a few hours the big prize money was going to be mine, I was already planning on how I was going to spend my new found windfall. I had never felt this confident or self assured in my entire life.
No matter how confident I felt, I still wasn’t taking any chances. The night before the big tournament, I had a couple of beers, well to be honest it was more like several beers. I wasn’t skimping, I was drinking my favorite beer, Yuengling Lager, in the can of course. You see, I am very discerning when it comes to beer. I wanted to make damn sure that I looked and felt my very best for the big tournament the next day, so I drank my beer and stayed up late before stumbling off to bed.
The day of the tournament was finally here and for some strange reason I woke up really, really, early, I think it was some stupidly early hour like 9:30 in the morning. I mean seriously, who gets up at 9:30 in the morning, on a freaking SATURDAY anyway? I’ll tell you, maybe other losers, but not me.
Oh well, I figured that I might as well get up and get ready. I sh**, showered and shaved and of course had another beer, after-all, it had to be after 12:00 noon somewhere on the planet right?
I put on my favorite black denim jeans, black tee shirt, my lucky black Nehru jacket and of course my favorite red sneakers. I said goodbye to my dog Homer, locked the door behind me and off I went.
I strolled down to the tournament really early, signed-in, and hit the bar and grabbed a beer. As I sat at the bar eyeing the final competitors, I actually allowed myself to dream about all the things I would do, with all that money; after all, I just knew I was going to win. I could feel it in every fiber of my being.
Suddenly, I started hearing this rhythmic chanting from near the front door, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, everybody in the bar turned and started staring towards the door and craning their necks to see what the hell was going on. People even started standing on their chairs and tables to get better look. The chanting continued – Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
There’s a big commotion and the crowd parts just like the Red Sea and there he was. Jesus himself, gliding towards the sign-in table: Jesus signs in. A million thoughts start running through my head, How in the hell am I going to possibly beat Jesus at darts? …What doe’s Jesus need the $25,000.00 prize money for anyway? …Did Jesus invent darts? …Maybe, I wouldn’t want to win, maybe, just maybe, Jesus is a sore loser and might just turn me into a pillar of salt, or something worse.
If I won, did that mean I was more powerful than the Son of God? Jesus, slowly turns, looks up and looks straight at me, Jesus stands up, and points to his solid gold custom dart case. The case is engraved with angels and trumpets, all heralding the power, and glory of God.
At that exact moment, I realized that my dream of winning the $25,000.00 prize money was now totally shattered. God, Wy are you doing this to me? I raged that this was so not fair. Not to mention the fact, I certainly hoped that Jesus didn’t remember me, because I had a serious beef with this dude.
You see a couple of months ago, God “smited” me and I was still really, really, unhappy about that. It all started when I casually made one of those off the cuff comments to my fiancee that I would really like to stop smoking one day.
That was a serious mistake on my part…
You see, at the time I didn’t know that my fiancee, Patria, has a direct pipeline to God, but now, I am 100% certain that she does, I’m not kidding, she really does.
You see, several months ago, I suddenly got really, really, sick. I was so sick that if I took one hit off a cigarette I would cough my lungs out for twenty to thirty minutes. It was devastating to me especially because I really enjoyed smoking. I know it’s not popular but I really liked smoking my 305’s.
A short time later, in my delirium, with a high fever and feeling like I would die at any moment, I asked Patria, “why is this happening to me”? Patria casually mentioned that she had recently prayed to God to give me the strength to stop smoking. WHAT??? Well evidently, God listened to her prayer. Instead of giving me the strength to stop smoking, he decided to smite me just for the fun of it, God made me suffer to the maximum extent possible! That definitely wasent cool of God to do that to me, and I was still really pissed off about it.
But that’s a story for another time.
Jesus glides up to the bar, just opposite from me, dressed in his usual long robes, and really cool, hand-made sandals on his feet. Jesus’s long flowing brown hair is perfect, and shiny. I thought to myself…. I wonder what shampoo and conditioner he uses and where could I get a pair of those really cool sandals. They have got to be far more comfortable than these cheap shoes from China that I wear all the time.
Every eye in the place was upon Jesus as he politely asked the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender, Ernie, pours a glass of water for Jesus. The moment Jesus’s hand touches the glass, the water instantly turns into wine, red wine, to be exact. With a satisfied smirk, Jesus, lifts the glass and takes a sip. Jesus smiles, for he knows that it is good. What a freaking showoff.
The chanting starts up all over again… Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Suddenly, above the raised voices of the chanting crowd, the Bartender, Ernie, could be clearly heard saying; “Hey Buddy, If you’re going to keep doing that, the water’s not complementary, I got a business to run”. Jesus raised his glass to Ernie and smiled as he turned and walked away.
Jesus, and his now considerable entourage, started heading my way around the bar.
Jesus, still holding his water-glass which was still miraculously filled with red wine.
I decided that I wasn’t dealing with that kind of showboating, so I turned my back on Jesus and towards the bar while I continued to slowly sip my beer.
I could sense, and feel, that Jesus had stopped directly behind me, that and the fact, that his entire entourage, had also seemed to have stopped as well.
Of course, I tried my best to just ignore Jesus, and not even bother to turn around and face him. Hopefully, Jesus would just go away. I had a feeling that I wasn’t going to be that lucky.
Believe me I was in no mood to talk to Jesus, as I was still conflicted on exactly what strategy I was going to use, to hopefully win the entire tournament, and the $25,000.00 first prize. Before any tournament, I prefer to just be alone, to reflect and relax.
You are not going to believe what happened next…Seriously, you should be sitting down, before reading this……
Jesus, who was until then just being really annoying by standing directly behind me, Him and his entire entourage. When suddenly Jesus started trash talking me. That’s right trash talk, in a low serious voice Jesus started saying shit like; “Hey Punk!” “Think you can beat me?” “You scared?” “Well you should be.” “You think you’re the best, well maybe you are, that is until I got here, sucker!” “Don’t turn your back on Jesus.” “You want to make a wager, I will even spot you a few points.” On and on, and on.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Jesus leaned in close to me and whispered in my ear, “Hey man, you want a smoke?” “I just happen to have your favorite brand…..”
THAT WAS IT, THE LAST STRAW! My heart was racing and my blood pressure was through the roof, I did’nt care. I slowly turned around on my bar stool, until I was face to face with Jesus, I was literally looking into the eyes of the Lord. With as much sarcasm as I could muster, I said, “No thank you, Jesus, I don’t smoke, Remember?” Now I couldn’t stop, it just kept coming out, “What kind of talk is that Jesus?” “Your father would be so proud of his only son.” (Hey, what can I say, that’s all I could think, of on a moments notice) The room suddenly became deathly silent, you could literally hear a pin drop. It seemed to me that my heart was beating so loud that the entire bar could hear it.
Jesus just stood there for a minute………….. then he laughed, laughed really loud, and confidently, his entourage also laughed, Jesus clapped me on the shoulder, looked me in the eyes, smiled and without another word, turned, and walked away, towards the arena, where the tournament would soon be held. His entire entourage followed him and they all just glared at me as they passed. I had never saw so many Jesus ass-kissers in my entire life. I don’t think that being a follower of Jesus entailed all that, but……
I considered it a good thing that Jesus didn’t turn me into a pillar of salt or fling my sorry ass into the depths of hell or anything like that. Hey, who knows which stories about him are true or not and at this point I couldn’t care less.
I watched Jesus as he continued to show off along the way as he performed a few small miracles as he made his way to the arena.
As far as I could tell, these miracles were nothing big, you know, simple stuff like placing his hand on top of a bald guys head, and suddenly, this guy grew some amazing hair, I mean seriously, this guys new hair would make even Fabio from the 1980’s insane with jealousy.
Next, Jesus placed his hand over that woman’s mouth who had no teeth and bam!, she now had a perfect set of pearly whites and I would me remiss if I forget to mention the goodhearted guy with the thick coke bottle glasses. Those lenses seriously made this guys eyes look like they were the size of golf balls. I felt really bad for him as I was pretty sure that this guy had ever had a date in his entire life. Jesus walked right over to him, pulled off his glasses, placed his hand over his eyes while he spoke softly to him. Jesus removed his hand and just like that this dude had perfect 20/20 vision. I was really happy for him.
Lastly, a young divorcee, a woman whose sleazeball of a husband left her for another woman, just because she had breast cancer, and to make matters worse she had to have a double mastectomy. Of course, her health insurance company wouldn’t pay for any sort re-constructive breast surgery because as they stated, it was not a medical necessary.
Jesus casually walked over to her, placed his hands upon her chest, and just like that she suddenly had had the most perfect set of breasts the world had ever seen. I know this for fact, because afterwards she proceeded to skip around the bar, lifting up her shirt, and showing literally everyone. Even I had to admit that Jesus had really done an amazing job as they were truly spectacular.
After every miracle Jesus performed there would be another polite round of applause, followed by another round of chanting; Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. At this point I was getting pretty damn irritated with Jesus. I really hate show-offs.
I was no fool, I knew exactly what Jesus was doing, he was just trying to psych me out and intimidate not only me but all the other finalists as well. I have no doubt that if there had been a pool of water in his path, Jesus would have walked on it, just because he could. Well, Jesus’s plan must have worked, considering that every one of the other finalists, suddenly dropped out of the tournament.
I could’nt believe it. I personally knew like twelve of those guys and when Jesus started doing his miracles they denied him and bolted for exit as soon as Jesus wasn’t looking. It was both sad and pathetic.
Now, It was down to just two, Jesus and me.
I had already resolved that I was not going to be intimidated by Jesus, or anyone else for that matter. I decided that I was going to play to the very best of my abilities. I was going to play darts just like my life depended upon it. who knows, maybe it did.
Jesus, along with his continually growing entourage of followers, slowly proceeded to walk towards the dart competition area basking in the adoration of the crowd until he finally disappeared around the corner and into the main arena.
Me, on the other hand, I was still sitting at the bar trying to process everything that I had just witnessed. I decided that I was actually rather unimpressed, so I ordered another beer, and waited.
It was kind of funny, I finally noticed that everyone seemed to be avoiding me, kind of like a dead man walking. All the bar stools on either side of me were empty. Everyone was on the opposite side of the bar making a point of not making eye contact with me, but none the less watching me closely with those weird sideways glances.
I guess I couldn’t really blame them, after all if Jesus were to have gotten really pissed off at my insolence and in a fit of rage decided to smite me (again) I guess they didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire and possibly become collateral damage themselves. I didn’t really blame them.
Hell, Ernie, the ultra cheap bartender even bought me my next beer. Let me tell you, in three years of going there, Ernie, had never, ever, bought me a free round, not even on my birthday.
After about 45 minutes or so, and two or three beers later, I heard my name being called over the PA system, the tournament will begin in ten minutes, please report to the main arena. Well, this was it, I downed the last of my beer, picked up my case of darts, gave Ernie a little nod and headed to the arena. I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared, because I was, but I was determined to go through with it no matter what happened to me, besides I had a score to settle with Jesus.
As I casually strolled towards the arena, I noticed that off in a cozy corner of the bar, the nice guy that formerly had the coke bottle glasses, and the woman with the brand new and really spectacular boobs, were holding hands, and staring into each others eyes. I remember thinking that they made a really good-looking couple. I really hoped it worked out, for both of them. I found out later that they had gotten engaged.
Finally, as I rounded the corner to the tournament area, I began to hear the chants of, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. As I got closer, the chants grew louder, and louder still, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
As I entered the arena, I was greeted with close to 450 people chanting, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. This chanting went on for some time. It had started to seriously get on my nerves, and become really, really, annoying. I mean come on give me a freaking break already.
The Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, chant continued for some time. No matter how many times they were asked to stop, the crowd had steadfastly refused to stop chanting Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, despite being admonished by the judges, and tournament security officials, multiple times.
The tournament judges, as well as the tournament security officials obviously fearing a major disruption of the entire tournament, huddled and looked like they were having a really heated and animated discussion for several minutes. Finally, they seemed to have made a decision. The lights suddenly came up and the senior tournament judge walked up to the microphone.
The crowd sensing something was up, slowly stopped chanting Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Although, it was not soon enough for me as I was starting to get a serious headache from all the chanting of Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
The senior tournament judge began to speak…
I couldn’t believe what I heard, the tournament officials, disqualified, and removed Jesus from the final tournament. Rules are rules, and evidently disrupting the entire 23rd Annual Brooksville Invitational Darts Tournament as well as the intimidation of other players were a couple of serious ones. According to the rules, by default, I won the tournament and the $25,000.00 first place cash prize.
I never even threw a single dart, not even one, can you believe it?
Personally, I really believe that this was a case of Divine intervention.
OK, for those of you who are just about to pick up the phone and call your spouse, your friends, family and excitedly exclaim….. Check this out, Tom Dye, played in a darts tournament with Jesus and Tom Dye, actually won!
Seriously! Whoa, whoa,…Hold your horses, hang up that phone. Hang it up right now.
I have a confession to make, I just made the whole thing up. I know, I’m truly sorry. Please, let me explain….
In reality, some guy, who had just grown his hair, beard, and mustache for a few months, and coincidentally looked exactly like the famous painting of white republican Jesus, was kicked out of a darts final tournament, because close to 450 people in the crowd would not stop chanting, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.
Seriously, nobody, anywhere, would actually believe that Jesus would walk into a bar, turn water into wine, trash talk a competitor and perform some cheap miracles, just to impress a bunch of drunken fools, because that my friends would be totally absurd. Or would it?
As for me, actually playing darts? There is only one way to describe my dart throwing ability, basically, I suck at darts!
The only miracle would be, if after throwing a dart, I was able to avoid seriously injuring an innocent bystander.
Remember, just because you saw something on the internet or Facebook doe’s not make it true.
As Always,
I Am….
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
By Tom Dye
On April 15, 2017
In Humanity, News Commentary, Opinion, Satire, Tales of the Absurd
Some Of The Things I Think About All The Time…..
I want to make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat, I am an enigma, and believe it or not, a vast amount of people consider me to be a world-renowned scholar of esoteric knowledge, I contemplate things that many would not or could not dare to think about.
Being a scholar of esoteric knowledge I have lived my entire life based on the profound wisdom of John Houseman, who once said, ” A wise man believes only in lies, trusts only the absurd and learns to expect the unexpected”
So, because of all this, I find myself thinking about a lot of things that most people probably haven’t even considered thinking about before. I am going to share a few of these thoughts with you to see what you think. Feel free to comment on any one of (or all) these profound revelations.
Please remember all these opinions are mine, and mine alone, and are not meant to disrespect anyone’s personal beliefs or philosophy in life. If you are offended, by my opinions and my beliefs then you should stop reading this article right now.
Life & Death
The Afterlife
I hear religious people all the time talking about the glorious afterlife they’re going to have after death. Really? How do you know that? What if you’re wrong? Just saying. I know one thing for certain, believe me, I have thought about this a lot. “Life is a sure thing, and death is definitely to uncertain for my liking”. I equate this to someone who is relying on winning the lottery as their retirement plan., the odds are totally against you. You may want to have a plan B, just in case Plan A, doesn’t work out
I don’t know about you, but not one person that I have ever known, or even ever heard of that had died, has ever come back, appeared to me, came to me in a dream, or anything else for that matter, and extolled the virtues of being dead, and how awesome the afterlife is, and encouraged me to try it for myself.
Think about that for a moment. Although, I have had living people tell me that I should just die, or that I should just kill myself. Obviously, I didn’t listen to them and don’t plan to, not now and not ever.
I know exactly what some of you are thinking right about now. “You have to have faith and you have to believe with all your heart”. OK, I get that. I have heard this literally uncountable times before.
Here is something to consider, I had a good really good friend Brad, (who by the way has also passed away, and has also never tried to contact me from beyond the grave either). Anyway, Brad believed with his entire being that aliens would never allow a nuclear war to occur between nations on Earth and they would immediately intervene if one was imminent. He had absolute unshakable faith in this and believed it with all his heart.
I know this first hand, as Brad and me, discussed this topic on numerous occasions. Brad never wavered in his belief, or for that matter ever produced any kind of proof, or any kind of evidence that this was actually the case, not an alien manifesto, or any proof at all. I personally thought that this was not something that I would want to rely on in the brink of a nuclear war.
I had serious concerns, what if the unspecified aliens were on vacation, stuck in trans-galactic traffic, or were asleep when a nuclear war on earth started. I mentioned my concerns to Brad, and he was still supremely confident and absolutely believed that the aliens would intervene and that I was foolish to be concerned at all.
So who’s right? and who’s wrong? That’s the part I am still contemplating.
Did you know that 80% of Evangelical Christians voted for Donald Trump? I would be really interested in knowing how anyone could possibly unite, or find common ground between these two opposing forces. I do know that I can’t seem to wrap my head around this one, no matter how much I think about it.
According to evangelical Christianity, If an atheist lived a good life, helped the poor and disadvantaged, did not lie, cheat, steal, or kill, essentially lived a good upstanding life by any measure but somehow failed to accept Jesus Christ before his/her death, they would be condemned to hell.
However, if Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, or Ted Bundy, did accept Jesus Christ and ask for forgiveness before their deaths, they would all go to heaven. I am sorry but this just sounds absurd.
Scientologists
Scientology was invented by L. Ron Hubbard, a somewhat well-known “Science Fiction author”.
According to dummies.com “Scientologists believe that people are immortal alien beings (called thetans) who have forgotten their true nature and are trapped on earth in a human body. Scientologists believe that each thetan has lived numerous past lives, both on earth in our physical bodies, and on other planets. Scientologists also believe that by undergoing a series of classes and teachings (called auditing by the church), people can free themselves of their human form and reclaim their true selves.
Seriously? I think I’ve read the book and it ends badly for your bank account.
Here’s what I believe, as the great philosopher Forrest Gump once said, “Stupid is what stupid does” and “That’s all I have to say about that”.
Science
Gravity
People generally agree that the discovery of “Gravity” is one of the most fundamentally important discoveries of all time. First, Issac Newton, but he was wrong, and then Albert Einstein finally described the fundamental concept of “Gravity” as we know it today.
I want to put forth the idea that this was actually not as big a deal as people make it out to be. You see, gravity is always there, even on holidays, overnight, and the weekends. Someone would have discovered gravity sooner or later anyway. Seriously this seems pretty obvious to me.
Climate Change
99.9% of scientists and scientific bodies around the world tell us that climate change is real and is being caused by mankind because of our industrial activities. I accept their findings. After all, I am not a climate scientist.
The part of climate change that I to contemplate is the thinking of those who deny it’s real. Virtually all climate change deniers start their denial with, “I am not a scientist, but…..”
That’s right you are not a scientist Bozo, so who are you to refute them with your own bullshit. Donald Trump says that climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. What????
Sarah Palin is another climate change denier, so that should tell you everything you need to know.
Personally, I’m with the scientists on this one.
Discovering America
When I went to school they taught us that Christopher Columbus discovered America. No, he did not! The Americas were always there. Columbus was actually sailing for the West Indies, but being the really piss poor sailor that he was, he made a wrong turn and ran right smack into America. So, Christopher “Wrong Way”Columbus made a wrong turn, and somehow “discovered” something that was there all along. I mean seriously, it’s not like you could miss it or anything. Columbus was way, way, overrated. Not to mention the fact that he was an asshole, and a slaver.
Hell, the way I see it, “Gilligans Island” had a more believable plotline than Christopher Columbus discovering America.
Aliens (Extraterrestrial Life)
I have been thinking about this for a very long time now. When I talk about aliens I am referring to the kind from another planet, not to be confused with undocumented people from one country living in another country without permission.
We seem to have two kinds of supposed alien visitations. The first type is where alien beings visit some poor uneducated fool named Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, abduct him against his will give him some sort of inexplicable anal probe, release him and go on their merry way.
This makes no sense on several levels. How many anal probes would alien beings require from human beings? and what would be the ultimate purpose?
I would think that if alien beings wanted to reveal themselves to Earth they most likely would not appear to Billy Bob in the middle of nowhere, they would be a lot more effective landing at Central Park in NYC, at noon on a Saturday, where thousands of people would see them. Not to mention the fact that this would be a lot better place to gather their anal probe data as they could collect hundreds at once. I would be willing to bet that they could find several people who would even volunteer for anal probing.
The other type of alien sighting consists of either coloured lights in the night sky or supposed video of some sort of alien craft just buzzing the Earth. I often wonder if aliens just buzz the planet just to fuck with us for fun?
According to the theory of Occam’s razor, with two facts being equal, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one.
Unidentified lights in the sky, or (usually fuzzy images) of unusually shaped craft flying over someplace seems like a stretch from other more simple explanations.
I do believe that considering that there are literally billions of planets and galaxies out there that there is certainly a great probability that there are other forms of life somewhere in the universe. Don’t get me wrong, I certainly do not have any proof to support this belief, this is just a very strong statistical probability.
Here’s something to contemplate. I am going to science the shit out of this one, so hang on. The closest star (another sun) from Earth is 4.24 light years away. It is a binary star system and Faint Proxima Centauri is the closest one.
A light-year is a distance that light travels in one year. According to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity – E = mc2 this equates to 186,000 miles per second. To put this into perspective that means that if you could travel the speed of light, it would mean that you could travel from Earth to the Moon in 1.3 seconds. Also, according to the Einstein’s relativity, one cannot travel at, or faster than the speed of light.
So, by the laws of physics, as we understand it, travelling at .99% the speed of light, it would take an alien race sometime more than 4.24 years each way just to reach Earth. Of course, because of time dilation, they would only experience a trip of only about 14 days, while 4.24 years would have passed on Faint Proxima Centauri.
So, ignoring pesky things like having to slow down, orbital mechanics, and everything else, If aliens left Faint Proxima Centauri at,99% the speed of light somehow slingshot around the Earth and go right back home. These alien astronauts would have aged only about 24 days while everyone else on their planet would have aged 8.48 years. BAM! Mic drop!
What that means is either extraterrestrial aliens have either discovered other laws of physics and technologies that we don’t have any understanding or comprehension of, which is not beyond the realm of possibility, or it could be that we are just separated by too vast distances to ever meet or have any meaningful communication.
Let’s just imagine for a moment that an alien culture only 4.24 light years away sent us a modulated communication by a powerful laser. Assuming that we could even understand the message, and answer it right away, the message would take 4,24 years to get here and another 4.24 more years before they got our response. Just saying hello to each other would take 8.48 years. A generation would have lived and died before any sort of meaningful communication would have occurred.
I am going to be thinking about this one for quite a long time.
Our own solar system is vast. For all the science geeks out there like me here is a fascinating video that illustrates, in real-time, the journey of a photon of light emitted from the surface of the sun and travelling across a portion of our solar system, from a human perspective.
Fake News and Alternative Facts
This is one area where I attempt to contemplate some sort of meaning but somehow I always fail miserably. Although that doesn’t stop me from trying.
Did you know that pollsters recently did a survey where they talked to lots of people and presented them with a conspiracy theory without any basis in fact or offering any proof and a full 33% of the people believed them without question?
What the fuck is wrong with these people? Whatever happened to critical thinking? What I find interesting is how the 33% of the people who obviously believes anything, without proof or basis, in fact, or reality, is about the same percentage of people who voted for Donald Trump.
Is this a coincidence? Who knows. Although I believe that there is a strong probability that this is actually the case that 33% of the people are actually morons who will believe anything, without proof, or facts, no matter how absurd it might be.
I actually had a friend tell me recently that Breitbart news was going to be the “new” New York Times. Are you fucking kidding me? The New York Times is a Pulitzer prize winning news source. Breitbart news, not so much.
Donald trump recently tweeted that NY Times, NBC, ABC, MSNBC and CNN News are enemies of the American People. This is incredibly dangerous and is certainly just Trump’s propaganda. Just because mainstream news organisations report his own words or report actual news that is critical of him or his policies does not make them enemies of the American people it just makes them news organisations doing their jobs as journalists.
Conversely, if the mainstream news organisations mentioned above are enemies of the American people, then that would infer that biased or outright fake news sites e.g.- FOX News, Breitbart, Infowars, or the Drudge Report are not. Sadly, people actually buy into these alternative facts.
The main issue that I try to contemplate is why? Another important question is why do people vote against their own interests?
I listen to NPR three hours per day, read the Huffington Post, CNN, MSNBC, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, Bloomberg, NY Times, Washington Post,and Politico every day to try to get a good understanding of events and to try see if there is a consensus regarding the day’s news events. Notice that the common thread between all of these news sites is that they are all award-winning mainstream news sources.
I am still stunned when I wear my NPR tee-shirt that Trump supporters will point to it and say that NPR is a liberal news organisation. Seriously??? NPR is about as fair and balanced as you can get and they always present both sides in every news story they produce, and furthermore, NPR doe’s not provide any sort of commentary one way or the other, they present the facts from both sides and leave it up to you to decide for yourself where you stand on the issues at hand. Isn’t this what real journalism is all about?
Since when did NPR suddenly become the enemy, or somehow become a liberal news source? They haven’t, and I can’t imagine that they ever will be.
Thomas Jefferson once said, “Democracy is founded upon a well-educated population” He was right then, and he is, even more, right today. The internet and fake news sources have enabled people to validate their own beliefs regardless if they are true or not.
I get it, It is really hard for some people to change their belief systems when confronted with indisputable facts to the contrary. However, as human beings, this is how life is. The real truth of reality is not what you want it, or believe it to be. Reality is what it is, and will find a way to reassert itself with a vengeance the longer it is denied. There is only one truth no matter what you may personally believe.
One thing that I am absolutely certain of, there are no “alternative facts” only facts. There is only one truth, it is only true, or not true. The sooner we all realise this the better off we will all be.
The sooner you realise this fundamental truth about reality, the sooner you will learn to become a thinking human being.
As for the rest of this stuff, I will keep contemplating it so you don’t have to.
Some of my other important contemplations that I am still working on include, why is it that a USB connector is designed to only go in one way, but you have to flip it around three times before it finally goes in? and why is it that they keep looking for Big Foot, but never seem to find one, either living or dead?
As Always,
I Am…..
Thomas Dyson
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