Tales oF the Absurd, Original Satire, Politics & News Commentary

May 12, 2017, The Pulse Nightclub Massacre One Later, A Message Of Solidarity!

May 12, 2017, The Pulse Nightclub Massacre One Later, A Message Of Solidarity!

Forgive me for being so blunt. I noticed that most everyone is calling the shootings at the Pulse Nightclub, An LGBTQ Nightclub in Orlando, Florida one year ago a “tragedy” and it certainly was. However, it was also a “massacre” of 49 innocent people and injured at least 53 others.

This horror was inflicted upon these innocent people during a popular “Latin Night” by a sub-human monster armed with a military-style assault rifle. that I shall not name because he doesn’t deserve to be remembered by name.

This monster who shall not be named continued his shooting spree for Three Hours. Think about that for a moment! Three fucking hours of absolute terror, death and life-threatening injuries. I can’t even imagine the horror that these innocent human beings had to endure not knowing if they were to be the next to die.

I like to think that I would be strong in a situation like that, but in all actuality, I don’t even know if I would still be sane after experiencing a trauma like that. These survivors, friends and family are amazingly strong, and resilient, and these are the true heroes.

Pulse Nightclub Memorial 2017

As with a lot of us, I did not learn of the Pulse Nightclub massacre until the next morning. In my case I learned about it on my local NPR public radio station.

As the hours and next few days unfolded we learned all the details and personal stories from the survivors as well as the friends and family members of the deceased. With each story, I cried, with each name of the dead was revealed, I cried and felt a little more numb. A piece of my soul died along with all the victims of this brutal senseless massacre.

Then the trolls and religious fanatics started with their horrific bigoted, and homophobic comments. Then I got mad. who were these perverted monsters? and where was their basic humanity and compassion for another suffering fellow human? My soul died a little more, and my heart broke all over again and I actually felt ashamed and disgusted to think that such hatred could exist in our supposedly liberal society.

But then something amazing happened, in the face of tragedy. The tributes, the support, stories of heroism and personal stories of survival and acts of courage came rushing in like an unstoppable tsunami. The American people mobilized with offers of unqualified assistance and support for the survivors, and the families of the deceased.

This is the United States and the world that I believe in. When tragedy occurs, compassionate human beings rally to offer whatever aid and comfort, and assistance in whichever way they can. This is the basic humanity I believe in.

I believe in humanity and I believe in love in which ever form it comes in. And that’s the way it should be. I have always been an ally of the LGBTQ community. Any real compassionate human being would also be as well.

Am I a Lesbian? Obviously not

Am I Gay, No! not at all, as a matter of fact I am as heterosexual as they come.

Am, I Bi-sexual, Nope!

Am I transgender? Certainly not.

Am I Queer? No, not at all.

But that is not the fucking point. What I am is a compassionate human being who believes in human and civil rights. I believe in love between two consenting adults not matter what form it takes. after all, love is love.

I have known several people who identify as gay or lesbian. I have known bisexual and transgender persons as well. Some are still with us, and some have passed away. No matter what their sexual orientation may be, I have always been proud to call them my friends. Some of the most amazing, talented, intellectual, gifted and artistic human beings I have ever met identified just so happened to identify themselves as gay. For the ones who have passed away, I miss them dearly. For my friends still living I look forward to many more years of friendship, and the love and bonds we have created together.

I am an ally of the human race!

Just know this, As a fellow human being, I love you all. For those of you whose lives have crossed with mine, no matter if you are young, old, LGBTQ, or something else entirely, I hope that we will have decades more of friendship, and adventures still to come, For those of you who I haven’t met yet, and should we ever meet in the future, I will embrace you as my friend and fellow traveller in this only life we have, and I welcome you as a friend.

You see as for me, I only judge people by only one of only two possible categories. You are either an asshole, or you are not an asshole. Please don’t be an asshole.

To all the friends and family of the people killed in the horrific nightmare of the Pulse Nightclub massacre, My heart breaks for your loss. Words can never express what you all are feeling right now.  For those 53 people injured, You are all far stronger than me and I look up to you for the heroes that you truly are. You inspire me to be a better human being.

I love you all.


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson.


Who Are The Unsung American Heroes?

Who Are The Unsung American Heroes? 

We hear the term “American Hero” used a lot. But exactly what is a hero?

According to the dictionary, a hero is defined as; ” A person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character” 

There are different types of heroes. Of course, there are the highly trained Firefighters, Police Officer’s, Doctor’s, Soldiers and others who perform heroic acts every day. These are the people who by their chosen professions and desire to help others find themselves in situations where heroic actions may be required and they willingly risk their own lives to save the lives of others. Certainly, these brave men and women are truly American Heroes.


Then there are the average Americans who suddenly find themselves in the middle of a situation and instead of ignoring it, running away, or hiding, just instinctively take action. We witnessed an example of this again just recently on May 26, 2017, on a commuter train in Portland Oregon.

On a seemingly normal day, heading into the Memorial Day weekend, on a commuter train, a man was heard verbally harassing and spewing anti-Muslim slurs at two young teenage girls. One of the girls was an African-American, and her friend a Muslim was wearing a hijab.  It makes absolutely no difference that one was African-American and the other was Muslim, the point is these are just two young teenage girls minding their own business and suddenly their lives were about to be changed forever.

According to one of the frightened young women, Destinee Magnum, 16,  “He told us to go back to Saudi Arabia and he told us we shouldn’t be here, to get out of his country,” Mangum told KPTV. “He was just telling us that we basically weren’t anything and that we should just kill ourselves.” Frightened by his outburst, the pair moved away to the back of the train.

The Islamophobic racist who hurled these insults at these two young women was later identified as Jeremy Joseph Christian, 35.

Jeremy Joseph Christian

Three people unwilling to let this horrific hate speech hurled at two young women took action. Ricky John Best, Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche and Micah David-Cole Fletcher Stood up and confronted the attacker,  telling the man that he “can’t disrespect these young ladies like that.”

Portland Heroes

These three heroes attempted to calm and de-escalate the situation when Jeremy Joseph Christian pulled out a knife and when it was all over, Ricky John Best and Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche were stabbed to death. Micah David-Cole Fletcher survived the attack but was hospitalized with serious injuries.

When the train stopped, there was blood everywhere according to witnesses. Jeremy Christian fled but several passengers chased after him and called 911, directing officers to his location.

So who are these unsung American Heroes?

Taliesin Myrddin Namkai-Meche, 23, A bit of a math whiz, he graduated from Reed College last year with a degree in economics.

Ricky John Best, 53, A U.S. Army veteran and father of four, worked as a technician for the city Bureau of Development Services.

Micah David-Cole Fletcher, 21. An Autistic young man with a strong sense of right and wrong.

Did you know that it took President Trump until May 29 to even make a half-assed tweet responding to the Portland attacks? It’s true.

President Trump


The violent attacks in Portland on Friday are unacceptable. The victims were standing up to hate and intolerance. Our prayers are w/ them.

I Didn’t Mean To Lie, But I Did Anyway!

I Didn’t Mean To Lie, But I Did Anyway!

One of my Facebook friends recently posted a yet seemingly simple, but ultimately complex question. “Can any of my genius friends explain to me what, “I didn’t MEAN to lie” means? I’m kinda lost”

Actually, this is a really interesting question. Of course this begs the question, Why do people lie anyway? and who the hell cares?

One of the most interesting replies to her question was, “I didn’t mean for you to pay attention to the details of what I said….so as I was storytelling some extra colorful (and fictitious) portions were added. I then repeated it to myself enough times that I came to believe my fabricated version, thus it became MY truth, and therefore, when conveyed to you I believed it as fact. So, I may have TECHNICALLY lied, but it was an accident”

Now, this is a perfect explanation of the type of lies that your average Trumpian Republican politician tells us on a daily basis. You know who I’m talking about, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump and a host of other Trump minions.

Here’s a fun fact. Did you know that Kellyanne Conway was the very first person who while in the middle of lying on the air (During Meet the Press) actually coined the term “Alternative Facts” to justify her lies? Yes it’s true.

I find these type of lies to be more entertainment than lies. Turn on the Sunday news shows when they have Trump surrogates, break out the popcorn and beer. Who the hell cares that these shows start at 9:00 AM, alcohol is definitely called for. I mean seriously, you have to suspend reality as much as possible to actually listen to these people.

I will say that Sean Spicer has a lot more fortitude than me. Just imagine, this guy goes out in front of the White House press corp every single day and lies his ass off. I am not talking about those kind of lies that anybody can confirm, or even care about.

Like when someone asks how you got that scar on your arm and you relate how when you were in the 3rd grade the neighbor’s German Shepard dog, Rex, got out of his yard and attacked you. When in reality you were jealous of  your Grandmothers beloved miniature Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, and kept pulling it’s tail when it was sleeping, and it turned around and bit you with those little needle teeth. And furthermore, you fucking deserved it because you were just a little brat who exhibited animal cruelty from an early age. You may have grown up to be  a serial killer as far as I know.

But, I digress…

Sean Spicer is forced to go out everyday on the international stage and lies through his teeth about issues that everyone knows he’s lying about. You don’t even have to Google it, it’s that obvious. And, he even says them with a straight face.

I mean seriously, the only people who actually believe his word vomit are the uneducated and deplorable Trump supporters. Everyone else, not so much. Actually, not at all.

Now, if that was me, I would snap after the second or third time that Trump sent me out there to lie like that. Seriously, Suddenly without warning I would just snap and say, Fuck It! I’m outta here.  Anything you want to know about the lying motherfucker Donald Trump, nows the time as I’m pretty sure that we have about two minutes before I’m escorted out of the building. I’m available for exclusive interviews starting tomorrow. Fuck You Trump, and I hope you rot in hell. (Mic Drop!!!)

At least my conscience would be clear, I’d do it in a heartbeat and never look back. Besides, I figure that would increase my 15 minutes of fame to at least 30-45 minutes, Maybe an hour, if I played my cards right.

Of course, there are different magnitudes of lying. Some forms of lying may be appropriate some are not. If your spouse asks you something you should always tell the truth as that’s what relationships are based upon, telling the truth. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to your loved ones.

Certainly, people lie about why they can’t make it into work, on a Monday morning when they are too hung over to get out of bed. People also tell “White Lies” to make people feel better about themselves or others.

People lie about their past, their relationships, what they did over the weekend and a multitude of other reasons. People lie about their motivations, to increase their status wits with coworkers, bosses, friends and even complete strangers.

There is on situation where lying is expected, as a matter of fact, it’s actually protocol to do so. When you arrive at work and you greet your co-workers and ask them, How are you doing?” it is expected that they say something like, good, or OK, or some other affirmative response. Never, is it OK for them to stop and start telling you about how their dog died, their Uncle passed away, or describe any other tragedy before you have even had a chance to finish your coffee yet.

We should take with a grain of salt anything anyone tells us, not because that they are lying, but because their perceived reality may be different from our own. That’s just how life is.

Personally, I have always believed that honesty is the best policy as I never have to keep track of what I have told one person vs. another. It certainly makes life easier for me, anyway.

So how did I respond to my friend’s Facebook post? I replied, ” It mean’s that they are lying about lying, but their still lying when they say that they didn’t mean it about lying”.

You see, as a writer I lie all the time, As a matter of fact I’m lying right now.


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson

This life commentary is an original work of satire by Thomas Dyson. If you enjoyed this article or others on please consider becoming a subscriber, it’s free. You will be the first to know when new articles are published. Rest assured we don’t use your email address for anything else. Feel free to share this article or others far and wide on your social media circles or shout it from the rooftops.  Your comments or suggestions are always welcome here. 


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