LOOK: Is This A Tiny Space Alien. Really, You guys must have heard about this, it’s been all over the news lately. The aliens visiting Earth are only 6″ tall? This is what the alien conspiracy nuts have been harping about all this time? Hoards of micro-aliens invading Earth? Give me a f–king break. This supposed 6″ tall alien body known as the Atacama Humanoid — Yeah, I know, this is a really serious scientific sounding name. This little guy, was actually discovered 10 years ago, in Chile.
I would have thought that discovering a 6″ tall alien body would have been the biggest discovery since Sir. Isaac Newton discovered gravity. Well, maybe that was not the best analogy considering that gravity is always there, even on the weekends. Someone would have discovered it, sooner or later. In reality, all Sir. Isaac Newton did was to give gravity a name, kind of an impressive name, but not a very big deal.
With all the stories about little green men, I was not imagining that they were actually referring to really, really, little green men. Seriously, if the little green men stories were referring to 6″ tall teeny tiny aliens, then what are we worrying about?
Lets use the SWAG method to think this through shall we? For those of you new to my stories, the SWAG method, is a Scientific Wild Ass Guess, it has served me very well in the past.
First the bad news, if the “supposed” alien UFO sightings we see around the world are real, then each of these ships must be carrying millions and millions of these little 6″ monsters. If that is the case there could be literally billions of these little 6″ aliens wandering around Earth already.
Think about it, if 6″ tall, vertically challenged aliens, traveled around in a craft, let’s say the size of a football, no one would ever notice them right? Well, I guess that this is no different than the infestations of rats, or squirrels, or whatever. As the human race, we have always dealt with this sort of infestations in the past and we can deal with this teeny tiny alien vermin as well.
OK, now the good news. What are these little 6″ tall aliens going to do to us anyway? Seriously, I am almost 6′ tall what’s a 6″ alien going to do to me? I would just step on it’s little alien a-s. Here’s a scary thought, What if every time we get those little stinging welts that we get sometimes get, you know the ones that they always attribute to some nearly invisible insect called a No See Um, you know what I mean, right? What if that is actually a minor wound wound caused by the 6″ tall aliens, teeny tiny beam weapons?
You know, the more I think about this, it may very well be the case. This is especially true here in Florida. This happens all the time, especially in the summer months, usually just around dusk. Doesn’t Florida have a similar climate to Chile? Maybe the 6″ tall aliens prefer the warmer climates.
If thats the case, is that all the little teeny tiny alien vermin have in their tiny arsenal? Here’s one for you little alien a–es, If you shoot at me one more time, not only will I sick my dog, Homer on you, I will then literally mow you’re little alien a–es down by the millions with my Toro riding lawn mower. I hope you guys can run fast, because if you can’t, it’s going to be a teeny tiny alien armageddon.
Seriously, I will drop kick your little teeny tiny alien a–es into next week. So, be forewarned, tiny aliens, knock it off. If you little 6″ aliens can behave, maybe, we can share our planet. I’m thinking there must be some sort of small 100 acre tropical island available somewhere, that we could donate to you little guys.
For the rest of us, think about it, if you were only 6″ tall, 100 acres would be like an entire planet.
Listen little alien dudes, If you read this story, I am making you guys a really valuable proposition. If you teeny tiny guys (or girls) can behave, I will make sure that this happens. All I need from you is exclusive representation and first rights to all alien technologies.
That’s really not too much to ask for, is it?
First show some good faith. Stop shooting your nano sized and very annoying beam weapons at me and come out in peace and friendship and trust me, I will find a way for all of us to live in peace and make a lot of money.
Are you alien dudes with me? or do I need to break out the riding lawn mower?
You guys know where to find me.
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
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