What’s Worse, Smoking Or Sitting? WTF…Here we go again! Obviously, smoking is bad for you, virtually everyone on the entire f–king planet knows this, even smokers. It says so right on the pack of cigarettes.
If you don’t believe me, just try this simple experiment. Next time you see a person smoking, just casually ask them; “Hey; did you know that smoking is bad for you?” I can guarantee you with 100% certainty, that the one response you will absolutely not hear is; “Oh My God!, No, I didn’t know that. Thank you so much for letting me know. (As the smoker throws away his/her cigarette, never to smoke again). Yeah right!
Now, some pinheads, in white lab coats, are trying to convince me that sitting is actually worse then smoking. Evidently, they did “A Study”. What the f–k am I going to do now? stand all the time? Lay down at work? I can tell you right now, that this is not going to happen. I like sitting, mostly because my feet, and my knees, start to hurt when I stand too long. I think I am going to take my chances with smoking, and sitting. As a matter of fact I am going to smoke while I am sitting, kind of a double whammy.
Maybe, these pinheads in white lab coats only have metal folding chairs to sit on. If that’s the case, I could see why they would think that sitting is actually worse then smoking.
This dumb idea is starting to spread already. This actually happened today. I was deciding on which absurd and misleading news headline to write about. I was just mulling this over in my head while at work, when I walked through another department. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could not believe my eyes, I saw one of my friends and college, standing at her desk. She had discarded her chair, it was thrown into the corner with the days garbage. She had placed her keyboard, and mouse, on separate various sized empty cardboard boxes, and even tilted her monitor up, so she could see it while she stood at her desk.
She had obviously read the same original article; “What’s worse, Smoking or Sitting?” now she is afraid to sit down. That’s right, you heard me correctly, she is now actually afraid to sit down. Even though she is a former smoker, being health conscious and all, she decided that she was not going to take any chances, and she is going to stand from now on. Well, to each their own. Just wait for her feet to start hurting, I bet she will change her tune then. Unfortunately for her, she is going to find out soon enough that she has to stand anyway, like it or not. You see, the thing is, I took her discarded desk chair. I am not giving it back either, she said she didn’t need it anymore, and besides, it’s way better then my old one.
I might hang out a little longer after work just to see how she figures out how to drive her brand new little compact car, without sitting down. That might even be pretty entertaining to watch her try. I have to admit though, she is really pretty smart, if anyone could figure how to pull it off, she could. I don’t even want to know how she is going to go to the bathroom from now on.
Besides, over the span of several millennium, humans have evolved to sit down. If sitting down is so bad for you, then why do your knees only bend backwards? and your back and hips only bend forwards? or why is your ass is padded? (some more then others) This is the perfect combination of form, function, movement, and padding. This is the perfect evolutionary adaptation that would be required to sit for prolonged periods. I am pretty certain that primitive man invented the chair long before he invented the wheel, or even fire for that matter.
Lets take a look at this from a purely layman’s observational point of view. I realize that most of you are not scientists, or safety guys like me, so we are only going do do some simple observations.
For those of you who work in an office, you know the kind of place with lots of cubicles, take a look around at the end of the day. Did you notice anyone dead, still sitting at their desks? Keep in mind that old guy who has worked there since 1937 doesn’t count, as that is most likely a death from natural causes. I would be willing to bet that you did not find anyone sitting at their desks, slumped over dead now, did you? I think not.
How about this, next time you take one of those really long flights, count the number of people that got on the flight, and then check to make sure the same amount of people got off the plane. If anytime sitting could kill you, it’s while your sitting on a plane, wearing a seat belt, with like 10″ of leg room, for hours, and hours. OK, I admit it, once in a while you do actually hear about someone dying on a plane. I highly doubt that their untimely death was ultimately attributed to sitting. Or was it? Hmmm.
Hey wait one f–king minute!!! Don’t give the airlines any ideas. I can see it now, the next thing you know, you will board a plane, and all the seats will be gone. Where the seats used to be would be rails and straps like on buses and subway cars. So, instead of being able to seat 200 people on a flight, sitting down, the airline can now fly 400 people standing up in the same plane, for the same inflated price. After all, they have the perfect excuse, everyone knows, sitting is worse then smoking, and there is a scientific study to prove it. You can bet that the people in first class won’t be standing though, they will be given cots so they can lay down.
I would be willing to bet that the airline industry paid for this absurd study. I am not taking this bulls–t laying down. As a matter of fact, I am going to sit down, on my skinny ass, light up a smoke, and relax.
Next thing you know, some nerd in a lab coat will do a study, and try to convince me that coffee will kill me too. I have only one thing to say to that, F–k you, and leave my coffee alone.
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
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