PROFOUND REVELATIONS

Tales oF the Absurd, Original Satire, Politics, Religion & News Commentary

Category: Technology and Society

Chem-trails: Real or Fake?

Chem-trails: Real or Fake? Have you guys heard about this nonsense? This is one of the wackier conspiracy theories going around, where some half wits, try to link some obscure observations, and nonsense beliefs, into a theory that in no way matches reality.
So what are these so called chem-trails?Evidently, these are quite different from common contrails, which is the abbreviation for condensation trail, seen when a jet flying at higher altitudes form ice crystals, and water vapor, in the air, and leave a white trail behind the plane. We have all seen contrails. Nothing suspicious there.

Chem-trails are supposedly an entirely different thing. Evidently, according to conspiracy theorists chem-trails are part of a covert government program to seed the atmosphere with chemicals. Some of these conspiracy nuts actually believe that this activity is carried out by some sort of “shadow government”. I am not sure what a shadow government is,. However, I am pretty sure that the real government wouldn’t care for this very much, and would take some sort of action to stop them.

The problem with conspiracy theory’s like this, is the nut jobs who believe this clap trap can’t even agree on what is actually happening. Some of these people believe that the government, either the legitimate government, or the supposed super secret Shadow Government, are spraying chemicals into the atmosphere, in an attempt to modify the weather, or even modify the effects of climate change. Other more extreme conspiracy theorist’s believe that the government is spraying chemicals to slowly poison people, to bring the world’s population down to sustainable levels.

How can you tell the difference between a regular contrail and a chem-trail?

Evidently, according to these whack-jobs, a regular contrail from a high flying jet dissipates very quickly, and disappears completely, in a very short period of time.  A chem-trail, on the other hand, is very persistent, and spreads out, making hazy clouds, and the main give away is they are usually created by more then one plane crisscrossing the sky, so they can get complete coverage.

There seems to be some sort of consensus amongst these wackos that the main ingredients involved in this covert high altitude spraying program includes a combination of aluminum, and barium. Some also believe that this covert operation is also being carried out over European NATO alliance countries as well.

 
Contrail or Chem-trail?

OK, as I am, Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, I am going to destroy this idiotic argument with a purely data driven analysis of the facts. Trust me, you do not have to be a scientist to research the various aspects of half baked conspiracy theory.

Shadow Government Vs. The Elected Government

Some people actually believe in some sort of world wide Shadow Government that is actually the real, world encompassing power, and basically pulls the strings for all major political events. Evidently the elected Governments are actually carrying out the secret agenda of this Shadow Government. Various references to this so called Shadow Government include organizations e.g. – the Trilateral Commission, The Free Masons, The Illuminati, The World Bank, C.I.A., Council of Foreign Relations, and others.

Really? I think we can dispense with this notion right away. Just look at the United States Government as an example. The Democratic and Republican parties can’t even agree on what time it is, so virtually nothing of substance ever gets done. I find it highly unlikely that they could be puppets for some super secret Shadow Government. If there is a Shadow Government, then they certainly suck at advancing their secret agenda, whatever it may be, through Congress.

Are real contrails just a short lived phenomena?

Next let’s look at the notion that contrails are strictly a short lived phenomena. This is true in some instances, and in other instances, contrails may persist for a very long period of time. This is due to atmospheric conditions, jet stream, humidity, altitude, engine wake vortices, and ice supersaturation, in the upper atmosphere. I am not going to go into a long dissertation on atmospheric science. There is a lot of reliable information out there if you care to read up on it. Suffice it to say, that this belief is not grounded in science, but is actually an uninformed belief system. If you want an example of naturally occurring persistent water vapor, here’s, one,…FOG! That’s right, Fog, or how about clouds? think about it. Consider this thought, just because someone believes something to be fact, doe’s not make it so. Just look at the Flat Earth Society, they still exist today, need I say more.

Are crisscrossing contrails, actually chem-trails?

As for the crisscrossing chem-trail patterns, utilizing multiple planes, this also has a simple scientific explanation. If an observer is on the ground, and looks up at what appears to be two or more planes flying in tandem, at high altitude, this is not actually the case at all. There are flight separation rules strictly enforced by the FAA, and air traffic control. Furthermore, this is just an illusion. The two or more planes that appear to be flying tandem are actually separated by several thousand feet in altitude. From the observers point of view, the planes appear to be flying together. This is only because the sky doe’s not provide a reference point for distance or separation. You can easily confirm this by looking at them through a pair of high powered binoculars.

As far as the crisscrossing contrail (or chem-trail) patterns that the conspiracy theory nut jobs find to be highly suspicious.This is the most easy issue to explain. According to the FAA there are approximately 7,000 commercial jets flying across the United States at any given time. This figure doe’s not include; cargo jets, corporate jets, or military flights. Just take a look at the visualization of flight paths over the United States below.

US Flight Paths

As you can clearly see by the image above, there are literally thousands of crisscrossing flight paths most everywhere over the United States. In some parts of the country, there may be predominately North-South flight paths, like in the Pacific Northwest.  In other areas of the country there are crisscrossing flight paths in every direction. Here’s an interesting statistic, Chicago’s O’hare International Airport, has a large jet taking off, or landing, every 15 seconds. Think about that for a second, a large jetliner, taking off, or landing, every 15 seconds. That’s a s–tload of planes, and that’s at only a single airport. There are a few thousand commercial use, or military airports, operating in the United States. The average altitude of large commercial jetliners is between 27,000 and 37,000 feet. This would make a tremendous amount of crisscrossing contrails, don’t you think?

Physical malady’s from Chem-trails

As for the chem-trail conspiracy believers who report feeling shaky, irritable, nervous, exhibit allergic reactions, etc., etc., when they see these supposed chem-trails being created. I would put forth the proposition that belief is a powerful thing. If you believe someone is spraying some sort of toxic chemicals into the atmosphere then your body and mind respond to it. This is known as the placebo effect. I would be willing to bet that if you took these same people, and isolated from their environment. (Essentially isolate them so they could not see or hear their outside surroundings), they would not exhibit any of these psychosomatic, or sympathetic symptoms, if they were totally unaware of when it was happening.

Do you believe me now?

As you can plainly read, I have put forth a very clear scientific rebuttal regarding these so called fictional chem-trails. Will it make any difference to those nut cases who chose to ignore the facts, and believe in some fantastic conspiracy theory? Of course not. The whole idea of a conspiracy theory is that anyone, including myself, maybe in on it. That is anyone who disagrees with, or provides evidence to the contrary of their particular belief system.

If you look on YouTube, or do a Google search with the keyword; Chem-Trails, you will get thousands of hits including some very slickly produced videos attempting to explain how chem-trails are real, and of course they have the absolute proof that this is some sort of global conspiracy. They don’t offer peer reviewed proof, research, or experiments, to support their position. This just feeds into and reinforces the false belief systems of the gullible believers, and perpetuates this nonsense conspiracy theory.

It is so easy to ignore common sense. It takes hundreds, or thousands of people to fly, build, maintain, repair, or fuel the hundreds of aircraft that are supposedly spraying toxic chemicals upon the people of the world. Are you trying to tell me that not one individual would blow the whistle on this covert operation? Seriously?

Why don’t they send someone up with a jet and take air samples of these so called chem-trails? According to some of these nut jobs, the laboratories refuse to test the samples because they are also in on it. Trust me, I have taken literally hundreds of air, water, and soil samples, as part of my job, and sent them out to be tested. Not once did a laboratory refuse to test them. As a matter of  fact you don’t even have to tell the laboratory where you got the sample.

Evidently, the mainstream media doe’s not report these type stories, because they too are in on it. Yeah Right! If you have a great story, especially a great story about a super secret covert action to kill off a large part of the worlds population, a story that you could absolutely prove, they would all be all over it in a second. We wouldn’t hear about anything else for weeks. The mainstream media doe’s not report this story, because it’s not true.

We could also explore other glaring holes in this bizarre conspiracy theory  e.g.- the pilots spraying these chemicals are also spraying their family members who may live nearby.

If this was really Geo-engineering on a massive scale, to control, or mitigate, the effects of climate change, it is obviously not working, and is a phenomenal waste of money.

Why would anyone use aluminum, and barium, as a toxin, as it would take forever, and kill indiscriminately.

Certainly various governments, including the United States have experimented on small groups of their citizens in the past, but on a scale this large? seriously? There is no way in hell that you could keep something like this secret.

Always remember the basic premise of Occam’s razor, the centuries old principle of economy, or succinctness. Simply stated says;  With two things being equal, the simplest explanation, is usually the correct answer.

It seems to me that vast global Government conspiracies perpetrated by a super secret Shadow Government is an awfully complex and convoluted explanation.

Whoa, For a minute there, I was almost starting to believe my own bulls–t.

I have a confession to make. I really need to get this off my chest, the burden, is just too heavy, the last 25 years of my life, I have kept a terrible secret.

You see, I am actually a high ranking member of the Illuminati, Ministry of Propaganda. My sole purpose along with thousands of bloggers worldwide, as well as just about all of the main stream media, is to provide misinformation, and to distort the facts, anytime anyone gets too close to the real truth. This was one of those cases.

Of course Fox News, is not part of this vast conspiracy, as everyone knows they don’t lie or distort the truth, in any way.

Essentially, my job is to lie, to lie consistently, and lie all the time.
As a matter of fact, I am lying right now.

As always,
I am…

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

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Sex In A Box Comes To Switzerland

Sex In A Box Comes To Switzerland. This started me wondering, are the Swiss onto something here?  What exactly is this sex in a box, that they speak of?

Logic tells us that there is only two types of sex in a box. The first being, blowup or life like dolls, that come in a box. I certainly hope that this is not that the Swiss had in mind. Not that there is anything wrong with these, to each their own. But seriously, this is a pretty lame substitute for a real woman. I highly doubt that the Swiss just discovered these, after all they have been advertized in the back of certain men’s publications for years, and years. No, This is not the sex in a box that recently came to Switzerland.

How about having sex inside a box? Now, this is where is where the Swiss may be onto something.

This brings back fond memories from when I was a kid. My parents would get a new stove or better yet, the holy grail of boxes, a new refrigerator. These big appliances used to come in huge cardboard boxes.  I used to get these boxes and make forts, houses, cars, or whatever with them. If I was lucky enough to get a refrigerator box, the possibilities were endless.

These gigantic boxes from my childhood were the cardboard equivalent to the full sized vans, that guys used to have, and  fix up in the late 1960’s and 1970’s. These vans featured a bed, shag carpeting, recess lighting, diamond tucked leather upholstery, curtains, refrigerators, and always had a killer sound system, as well as whatever else might be required for a bedroom on wheels.

Not that my childhood cardboard box was fixed up with anything like I mentioned above, just the opposite. In my imagination, my gigantic cardboard was all these things, and so much more.Unfortunately, I was too young to have sex in the box, or even consider sex anywhere for that matter.  But, this started me thinking.

Now that I have grown up, I can see limitless possibilities for sex in a box. Just hear me out before you start laughing. I am fairly certain that you have not thought this through as thoroughly as I have. Trust me, this is going to be the very next, huge adult craze, don’t forget you read it here first.

All you need is a very large cardboard box, similar to the old refrigerator boxes. Place the box on it’s side. First you need to determine what type door you need; beaded, cloth roll-up, or standard swinging cardboard flap door. A standard full sized air mattress fits perfectly as a bed (Keep this put aside till the end.).

If you want lighting, inexpensive rope lights come in a variety of colors, and sizes and make perfect mood lighting. How about carpeting? small sized carpet remnants make great choices. I highly recommend shag.

Windows are strictly optional. You can cut standard cardboard flap windows, or make your own out windows out of plastic scraps. Make curtains, blinds, bars, or whatever window treatments you like.

Paint is optional. However, if you want to paint, standard latex wall paint put on with a roller is a very good choice. You should not need more then one quart of paint per color. You could even get real fancy and paint the ceiling flat black and place a bunch of glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.

Speakers for mood music is essential. I recommend those surround sound speakers like the kind made for laptops, etc. These are very inexpensive and small. You can place all four speakers inside the box as well as the sub-woofer. You can then connect the speakers to your laptop, phone, i-Pod etc. wherever you store your digital music collection.

Optional accessories may include: flat screen TV, ice chest, or cooler for drinks, beer, wine, champagne, wine opener, snacks, pictures for the walls, condoms, toys, ropes,  or whatever else, you and your partner might enjoy together. Don’t forget the packing tape to assemble everything.

If you are lucky and have the floor space, and access to more then one of these very large boxes, you can get even more elaborate, you can use more then one box, and make your own cardboard sex McMansion, a literal sex palace.

Once you assemble, and decorate your sex box, however you like, you are ready for the most important thing, a willing partner to impress. Make sure that your partner is willing, and of legal age to participate.

There you are…Sex In A Box. Just imagine your own Private Idaho, your own piece of temporary cardboard paradise, your own fantasy world. You could make your very own sex box into whatever you, and your partner enjoy. I would think that your sex box should last for a month or six weeks, even with heavy use. Once your sex box wears out, remove all of the accessories, and fold it up, and place it out with the garbage. Acquire another box, and start all over again.

There you have it, Sex in a Box, I wonder why nobody thought of this sooner. If you have a sex box, or you build one soon. Send me pics of your sex box, and I will be happy to share them with the rest of my readers. We can even vote on the ones we like best.

As always,

I am…

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

Become a follower today and receive a notifications of new content as soon as it’s posted.
If you enjoy this blog, Please tell your friends, family and co-workers. Post a link on Facebook,, Twitter, Google+, share it by email, or shout it from the roof to unsuspecting passersby. Your support is genuinely appreciated.

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