Dog Runs Over Owner With Car. When are people going to learn? Teaching a dog to drive, is not a good idea, and is only going to end very badly.

Everyone knows that dogs offer their owners unconditional love. What a lot of people don’t realize, this unconditional love comes with a price. You see, dogs also have a dark side. Dogs are highly intelligent, willful, conniving, manipulative, and cunning. That’s right, your cute little Fido, may also be a potential killer.

We have a dog, Homer. I have written about Homer, on several occasions. Homer is a happy, 20 pound, mixed breed, with an abundance of self esteem. However, like all dogs, I have seen glimpses of his dark side. He tries his best to keep this aspect of his personality concealed, but once in a while, it comes through, even if just for a moment.

I always wondered, how many of those unsolved, or “supposedly” accidental deaths, of people that owned dogs, could be attributed to the dog being complicit in the the owners death. Did some of these people do something, that the dog found to be totally unacceptable, and the dog’s owner paid the ultimate price for it, with his, or her, life? Maybe, they placed one of those stupid looking sweaters on the dog, and took it down to the dog park, and totally humiliated, and embarrassed the dog in front of all it’s dog friends. Some of those ugly dog sweaters that I have seen, could push anyone over the edge.

How about those misguided dog owners who leave poor Fido inside the house for like 14 hours. Fido really needs to go, after several hours of trying to claw his way out of the house, Fido has no choice, but to go to the bathroom, in the house. It’s either that or explode. I think that an exploding dog would be far worse then having to pick up some dog crap, don’t you?  So what happens? Fido’s owner returns home, and blames the dog, for not being to hold his bowel movements for like 14 hours. Can you hold it for that long? Think about it. The misguided dog owner decides that the appropriate punishment for Fido is to rub Fido’s nose in it. Seriously? What would you do if somebody rubbed your nose, in your crap? Would you feel like getting even? would revenge be near the top of your list?

Don’t even get me started on the despicable people who beat their animals. Here’s an example where the dark side of your little Fido, will come out. He may cower, but he will have a look of pure malice  you can see it clearly in their eyes. You don’t even want to know what they are thinking, when Fido looks at you like that. You have to remember that all dogs are descended from wolves. Fido still carries this perfect predator DNA, within him, push Fido too far, and well, you read what happened to this guy.

Dogs are also really, really, sneaky and willful, they obviously know right from wrong. Using Homer, as an example, Our living room is upstairs. Homer has this quirky thing he randomly does, he knows he is not supposed to, but he doe’s it anyway. If we leave a piece of paper towel, out on the coffee table, or anywhere else, he can reach, he shreds the paper towel into little tiny pieces.

I have no idea why Homer feels compelled to do this, he doesn’t do it to anything else, just defenseless paper towels. I can always tell if he has shredded a paper towel, because instead of immediately following me upstairs, he slinks away, and hides. He will wait for about 10 minutes or so, just long enough, that he figures that I have picked it up, and thrown it in the garbage can, then Homer bounds up the stairs to greet me, like nothing ever happened.

Another thing, I have observed about Homer, is he is constantly watching me, he may look like he is sleeping, but he is not. He is silently watching, and observing, maybe he is looking for weaknesses, or maybe, he is just observing my actions, to better manipulate me, to get me to do what he wants.

I have observed first hand, Homer’s killer instincts. You see we play this game, I flip him over on his back, and he immediately goes into this  “Tasmanian Devil Werewolf Dog” mode, that’s the only way I can describe it. I mean you would really have to see it for yourselves, but believe me, to anyone else watching, it is truly a really scary sight. He bares his teeth, he makes these horrendous wild animal noises, and thrashes around. He snaps, and growls, and gets this wild look in his eyes, and in no way looks, or sounds, anything  like a 20 pound dog. When I let him up in a few seconds, he jumps up, licks me, and immediately goes over to the cabinet where his dog treats are stored. He always knows, he is going to get a treat. Don’ worry, in no way is Homer ever abused, or even annoyed, this is only a game he likes to play.

Hell, I watch how Homer surgically removes the squeaker from his multitude of stuffed dog toys. Watching that is enough to keep me in line. Besides, Homer sleeps on our bed when we are sleeping, and defenseless.  I like to keep on his good side, just to be safe. Besides, as I am writing this, Homer is giving me the evil eye. He must know I am writing about him.
That’s a good boy, Homer!! (I had to say that, because he was becoming suspicious. He doesn’t like when I write about him).

So, back to the guy whose dog ran him over. It turns out he drove up to his gate, got out of the car, to open the gate, the car was left running. When he got in front of his car, his dog came running up, jumped into the car, somehow put the car in gear, and slammed down on the gas pedal. The man was killed, while his wife watched horrified from the passengers seat of the car.

This is not the first instance of a dog killing it’s owner. There was a dog out hunting with his owner, the dog knocked down the rifle, and the gun discharged, and killed the hunter. They ruled this case an accident, but was it really? How about the people whose dog followed them down the stairs, suddenly the dog somehow bumps the owner in the back of their legs, and the person goes tumbling down the stairs, in a broken heap. Another accident? I think not, this was a deliberate act on the dogs part.

So, how did this criminal dog learn to drive the car? easy, he was most likely one of those dogs, who ride on his owners lap, or rides right next to him. The dog just watched, and observed, during all those times he was taken for a ride. I don’t know what this guy did, that his loyal Fido, felt he had no choice, but to kill him, but it must have been something.

Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. However, feel that there is certain things that dogs should not be taught, to not only protect themselves, but us as well. Did this guy do something to his beloved dog? or was the dog just some sort of malevolent cold blooded killer? I guess we will never know.

Important Safety Tip: Always be extra nice to your dog. Never mistreat, or abuse Fido, in any way, your very life, could depend upon it. Whatever you do, do not ever let your dog learn how the car works, and don’t ever leave it running while your in front of it. No sense taking any chances.

As always,

I am…

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

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