Tales oF the Absurd, Original Satire, Politics & News Commentary

Tag: lying

I Didn’t Mean To Lie, But I Did Anyway!

I Didn’t Mean To Lie, But I Did Anyway!

One of my Facebook friends recently posted a yet seemingly simple, but ultimately complex question. “Can any of my genius friends explain to me what, “I didn’t MEAN to lie” means? I’m kinda lost”

Actually, this is a really interesting question. Of course this begs the question, Why do people lie anyway? and who the hell cares?

One of the most interesting replies to her question was, “I didn’t mean for you to pay attention to the details of what I said….so as I was storytelling some extra colorful (and fictitious) portions were added. I then repeated it to myself enough times that I came to believe my fabricated version, thus it became MY truth, and therefore, when conveyed to you I believed it as fact. So, I may have TECHNICALLY lied, but it was an accident”

Now, this is a perfect explanation of the type of lies that your average Trumpian Republican politician tells us on a daily basis. You know who I’m talking about, Sean Spicer, Kellyanne Conway, Paul Ryan, and Donald Trump and a host of other Trump minions.

Here’s a fun fact. Did you know that Kellyanne Conway was the very first person who while in the middle of lying on the air (During Meet the Press) actually coined the term “Alternative Facts” to justify her lies? Yes it’s true.

I find these type of lies to be more entertainment than lies. Turn on the Sunday news shows when they have Trump surrogates, break out the popcorn and beer. Who the hell cares that these shows start at 9:00 AM, alcohol is definitely called for. I mean seriously, you have to suspend reality as much as possible to actually listen to these people.

I will say that Sean Spicer has a lot more fortitude than me. Just imagine, this guy goes out in front of the White House press corp every single day and lies his ass off. I am not talking about those kind of lies that anybody can confirm, or even care about.

Like when someone asks how you got that scar on your arm and you relate how when you were in the 3rd grade the neighbor’s German Shepard dog, Rex, got out of his yard and attacked you. When in reality you were jealous of  your Grandmothers beloved miniature Chihuahua, Tinkerbell, and kept pulling it’s tail when it was sleeping, and it turned around and bit you with those little needle teeth. And furthermore, you fucking deserved it because you were just a little brat who exhibited animal cruelty from an early age. You may have grown up to be  a serial killer as far as I know.

But, I digress…

Sean Spicer is forced to go out everyday on the international stage and lies through his teeth about issues that everyone knows he’s lying about. You don’t even have to Google it, it’s that obvious. And, he even says them with a straight face.

I mean seriously, the only people who actually believe his word vomit are the uneducated and deplorable Trump supporters. Everyone else, not so much. Actually, not at all.

Now, if that was me, I would snap after the second or third time that Trump sent me out there to lie like that. Seriously, Suddenly without warning I would just snap and say, Fuck It! I’m outta here.  Anything you want to know about the lying motherfucker Donald Trump, nows the time as I’m pretty sure that we have about two minutes before I’m escorted out of the building. I’m available for exclusive interviews starting tomorrow. Fuck You Trump, and I hope you rot in hell. (Mic Drop!!!)

At least my conscience would be clear, I’d do it in a heartbeat and never look back. Besides, I figure that would increase my 15 minutes of fame to at least 30-45 minutes, Maybe an hour, if I played my cards right.

Of course, there are different magnitudes of lying. Some forms of lying may be appropriate some are not. If your spouse asks you something you should always tell the truth as that’s what relationships are based upon, telling the truth. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to your loved ones.

Certainly, people lie about why they can’t make it into work, on a Monday morning when they are too hung over to get out of bed. People also tell “White Lies” to make people feel better about themselves or others.

People lie about their past, their relationships, what they did over the weekend and a multitude of other reasons. People lie about their motivations, to increase their status wits with coworkers, bosses, friends and even complete strangers.

There is on situation where lying is expected, as a matter of fact, it’s actually protocol to do so. When you arrive at work and you greet your co-workers and ask them, How are you doing?” it is expected that they say something like, good, or OK, or some other affirmative response. Never, is it OK for them to stop and start telling you about how their dog died, their Uncle passed away, or describe any other tragedy before you have even had a chance to finish your coffee yet.

We should take with a grain of salt anything anyone tells us, not because that they are lying, but because their perceived reality may be different from our own. That’s just how life is.

Personally, I have always believed that honesty is the best policy as I never have to keep track of what I have told one person vs. another. It certainly makes life easier for me, anyway.

So how did I respond to my friend’s Facebook post? I replied, ” It mean’s that they are lying about lying, but their still lying when they say that they didn’t mean it about lying”.

You see, as a writer I lie all the time, As a matter of fact I’m lying right now.


As Always,

I Am…..

Thomas Dyson

This life commentary is an original work of satire by Thomas Dyson. If you enjoyed this article or others on please consider becoming a subscriber, it’s free. You will be the first to know when new articles are published. Rest assured we don’t use your email address for anything else. Feel free to share this article or others far and wide on your social media circles or shout it from the rooftops.  Your comments or suggestions are always welcome here. 


When Did Lying Become The Acceptable Norm In American Society?

When Did Lying Become The Acceptable Norm In American Society?

I don’t know about you, but when I was a child growing up lying was considered a fairly serious offense. When my kids were growing up, lying to us was still a fairly serious offense.

Don’t get me wrong. Of course, when I was a child if I could lie to my parents, and get away with it about my “certain activities”, e.g.- grades, where I was, and what I was actually doing. In these cases I certainly would lie, if I thought I could get away with it.

I lied it to protect my own self interests. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a well-defined penalty if my parents did found out that I was lying. There certainly was, and the punishment was always worse than if I had just told the truth in the first place. I raised my children the same way. The truth is always worse then lying about it. Period! There are no, and’s, if’s, or but’s, about it. Lying was unacceptable. Basically, If I owned up to it, I was far better off then lying about it.

Somehow, everything has changed in the last several years.

Today, lying has become the new normal. What was once taboo, is now the accepted societal norm.

What the hell is wrong with everybody?

Let’s look at a few examples;

People lie on their resumes all the time. I have had several discussions with Human Resources professionals and they confirm that this is a wide-spread phenomenon.

This is something that I never understood. Let’s look at this from my own specialized job skill. I have been doing the same sort of job for over twenty years now. Certainly, I have done a lot in my time, and my resume reflects that.

If I was going to apply for a job that paid a lot more than I was making now, I could just pad my resume with skills and experiences that I don’t actually have right? I mean I can learn just about anything I need to know on the internet, just like everybody else. But, what if they asked me to do this one made up skill, on day one? Then I would obviously fail, and my credibility as well as my employment status from then on would be called into question.

Politicians like Donald Trump, and others lie all the time. Doe’s anyone on the media call him out on his lies? Rarely.  It used to be that if a politician blatantly lied, the media crucified him or her for it.

Not this time around. Somehow Donald Trump telling blatant ties is somehow acceptable, and furthermore, his supporters don’t even care. What is wrong with everyone?

The politicians and their surrogates lie, and we give them a free pass. The media lies, and we give them a free pass. Corporations, and CEO’s lie, and we give them a free pass.

What the hell is wrong with everyone?????

Obviously, we all have the right of free speech. This fact is indisputable.

Actually, there are two types of lies. There are those “little white lies” and there are those “liar, liar, pants on fire” type of lies. One is to protect the feelings of others, and one designed is to deceive everyone through false pretenses..

The  “Little White Lie” is just a small deception designed to protect the feelings of a particular person involved. E.g.- Why you were late, while you were actually out shopping for their birthday or anniversary present.

Or, your friend, spouse, or family member has just delivered a brand new newborn baby girl. Everyone gushes about how beautiful she is, but to you she looks just like a little old man dipped in 30 weight oil. Obviously, if you care for this person at all you are not going to exclaim, ” My God, That’s the ugliest baby I have ever seen”.  Unless, you don’t want to have any sort of personal relationship with this person ever again.

In these type of situations, it is far better to keep your real feelings to yourself.  Essentially, these since these lies actually don’t harm anyone, but they actually promote a certain peace and tranquility for all parties involved.

On the other hand, The liar, liar pants on fire, type blatant lies are very dangerous.

Donald Trump is a genius at these type of lies. Trump’s refrain of; Crooked Hillary, We are going to build a big beautiful wall and Mexico’s going to pay for it, I can’t release my tax returns because I’m being audited by the IRS, and I am going to deport 11 million illegal aliens, as well as the actual unemployment rate is 48%,  are all lies designed to deceive the public for nothing more than personal gain,

The problem with,  liar, liar pants on fire, type of blatant lies is that these are designed for personal or professional gain with absolutely no basis in fact. This type of lie is designed specifically to confuse others and to sway them to your  side of the argument by “false pretense” for personal, political, or financial gain.

The uneducated or uninformed are easily swayed by a charismatic personality repeating a lie so often that it somehow becomes the truth. When in reality, a lie is always a lie, no matter how often it is repeated.

I find this new normal of lying to be totally unacceptable. If someone is lying they should be called our for what it is. A blatant lie should be called out, and confronted in the quest for the universal truth.

Why we let these lies stand now is beyond me. It was wrong when I was young, It was wrong when my children were young, and it is still wrong now, no matter who is telling it.

Personally, I find it so much easier to just tell the truth, because I never have to remember the lies I told to who, and when.

If you want my support, and possibly sway my decision, your argument should be based on facts, and the sheer power of the truth and verifiable facts of your argument. If you lie to me, every other statement you make is automatically suspect.

If you can’t stand on the truth, then you have no business standing at all.

Think about it!

As Always,

I am,

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy


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