Chef Murders Girlfriend When She Says She Isn’t Hungry.  This girl made a serious mistake. Everyone knows, that Chefs are really, really, touchy about even the smallest amount of criticism, regarding their food creations. It was only a matter of time, before something like this happened.

Hell, we even have fast food type sandwich shops that feature “Sandwich Artists” instead of the pimply faced kid, that used to be behind the counter taking your order, making your sandwich, however you wanted it. I never really understood the need for sandwich artists. I was always happy with my sandwich being prepared by a non-sandwich artist. As a matter of fact, I actually preferred it. Besides I never really noticed any difference anyway.

I admit it, I have always been one of those people who doesn’t really complain about my food at a restaurant, unless I was served something that was practically inedible. You know what I mean? I would have to be served something that was raw, something I didn’t order, things like that. I always wondered what some really ticked-off, over worked, under-paid, Chef was doing to my food, just because I had the gall to send it back, for some frivolous reason.

On the other hand, I have dined out with friends who seem to be unhappy with some small insignificant aspect about literally everything that is put before them. The potatoes are not quite warm enough, the vegetables are either over cooked, or under cooked, their steak is just a touch, over, or under done. You know the kind of people that I am talking about right? If you are one of these ultra picky restaurant patrons, then I suggest you pay particular attention to this story. This story may even save your life one day.

Consider this for a moment. Most Chefs, and I have known a few, take a lot of pride on their culinary skills. The only charter flaw I have observed is, they think they are to only ones who knows how things should be prepared, and eaten as well, and sometimes take great offense to how people choose to eat their creations. They get really obsessed, and sometimes get really angry about what diners do to their food creations. You know what I mean, Like putting ketchup on a steak.

Did you know that there are actually hot dog vendors in Chicago, and elsewhere, that do not stock ketchup, and if you ask for it, they will not sell you a hot dog. We are talking about hot dogs here! Some places take their hot dogs very, very, seriously. Although, in this case, I have to say that I agree with them. There should be a law against putting ketchup on a hot dog.

Getting back to sending back food to the Chef, in a restaurant. Think about it, you have some poor over worked, egotistical Chef, more then mildly irritated at having to deal with your nonsense. I certain sure that he has options, on how he can get even with you, for being such an a–hole.

Just consider this for a moment, You send your food back to the kitchen for like the second time, just because your personal gold plated pocket thermometer, indicated that your mashed potatoes were 2.7 degrees cooler then you like them. By this time the Chef with the overly large ego, and coincidentally, a graduate at the top of his class from; The Culinary Institute of America (CIA), or maybe, it was The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), or both, and he is rumored to be an expert in slow acting poisons, or whatever. By now, he has determined that you are more then an a–hole, you are somebody that is somewhat lower on the evolutionary ladder then pond scum, and you will have to be decisively dealt with.

There are several things that come to mind that this Chef could do, to get even, with such an annoying sub-human being. None of these possible actions would be very pleasant for the person actually eating the food.

The Chef considers his arsenal of options, in this case, revenge is not a dish, best served cold, it is a dish that should be served, hot and ready to eat, just exactly to the sub-pond scum customer’s liking. The Chef could, if he chose to do so; spit on your food, drop it on the floor, and even step upon it, he could sneeze on it, he could adulterate it chemically, he could add rodent, or roach, dropping to it, he could add urine to it, he could wipe his a– with your perfectly cooked steak, he could wipe your various food items on the rim of the toilet, and finally he could add other, more unspeakable, bodily fluids to it. These are just the simple ones, that I could think of, right off the top of my head. Yeah, go ahead and laugh, me, I am not taking any chances. You think I just made all this stuff up?

So, next time you go to a restaurant, and you decide to be an a–hole, consider what I just said. You may want to read that last paragraph again, just so you know what you may be getting into. If you start feeling ill, two to twenty four hours later, after your big shot, obnoxious, more important than you attitude, and decided to make an example of some poor, over-worked, egotistical, Chef. You may just might be experiencing something called “Chef’s Surprise”, and frankly, you deserve it.Now, this poor woman committed the ultimate sin, at least as far as Chefs see reality, which trust me, is a reality which is quite different, from either yours or mine. This poor Chef’s girlfriend, wait for it……………wait for it………..wait for it……… actually had to gall to decline to eat his food creations.

To add insult to injury, she told him, Gasp!!! that she wasn’t hungry, because she had already eaten. The enraged Chef stabbed his girlfriend twice with a large kitchen knife. She died at the scene.Important Safety Tip: Make certain that you are absolutely sure that you have to return your dish to the Chef. I also recommend being really humble. Otherwise think about what can happen.

If you are a Chef, or cook, or even used to be in this occupation. Feel free to leave us an anonymous comment at the bottom of the page, and tell us what can happen to a really rude, and obnoxious, restaurant patron. I would be willing to bet, that you have some really interesting, and enlightening, stories.

As always,
I am…

Tom Dye, The Safety GuyBecome a follower today and receive a notifications of new content as soon as it’s posted.
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