Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us! (Part 3)
In case you missed Part 1, or Part 2 of this continuing series you can read them here, Dogs Part 1, Dogs Part 2.
As I previously discussed in Part 1, and Part 2, of Dogs, The Four-Legged Spies Amongst Us, If you think you really know your dog, that faithful loving canine companion, then you have been deceived. Trust me, your dog is not who you think he or she is at all, Your canine companion is actually one of the greatest charlatans on the planet and right now is watching your every move. But why, and who are they reporting to?
In this installment, I am going to focus on how;
Dogs are sneaky!
When I said that dogs are the greatest charlatans on the planet I wasn’t kidding. If you actually believe that your dog is some sweet cuddly thing that always behaves exactly the way you want, then you, my friend are being delusional at best.
YouTuber, Needham Harry, but together a nice compilation video of dogs, and what they do when you leave the house.
Obviously, not all dogs go off the deep end and destroy your belongings when you leave. It is also kind of difficult to catch dogs in the act so to speak because most dogs somehow know when a security camera is left on when you leave. Believe me when I say that dogs are far more intelligent than you ever suspected.
In part 1, of this series, Kathy from Connecticut, described how her three dogs drank her entire cup of coffee when she was out of the room for just a couple of minutes. and then pretended like they knew nothing about it. That was just one example.
My dog, Homer, remember Homer?
Homer
Homer has made being sneaky into an art form.
Here’s one example. We have had Homer in our household for 8 years. During all these years, if we leave even one square of paper towel out, and leave for even a minute when I come back in, the paper towel is torn into a hundred or more pieces. Nothing else ever get’s shredded, just paper towels.
In eight years, I have never, ever, caught Homer in the act. But who else could it be?
The paper towel stunt is nothing actually. This is obviously just Homer screwing with my head, but I’m onto him, so it’s all good.
That is nothing compared to Homer’s stealing. First of all, Homer has a thing for chocolate. It’s a really good thing that Homer is not one of those breeds of dogs where chocolate is a highly toxic substance, because if he was, Homer would be dead a hundred times over. Seriously, I’m not kidding. Chocolate apparently has no ill effects upon Homer. He still shouldn’t have it, though.
Don’t get me wrong, we never, ever, willingly give Homer chocolate. Homer, has other ideas, though.
You see, my spouse, Victoria, has two closets in our bedroom. One of her closet’s she used to keep open a crack to make sure her clothes got plenty of air-flow. You get the idea.
One day she noticed that her snack which she had left on the nightstand for just a moment was suddenly missing without a trace. Victoria called Homer, but he was nowhere to be found. A short time later, Homer made his first tactical mistake in years. You see, Homer thought he heard Victoria leave the bedroom, so, he came slinking out of the closet, and Victoria saw him.
Homer, went slinking into the other room like nothing happened. Of course, Victoria, being the intellectually curious women that she is, decided to investigate further.
Victoria grabbed a flashlight and opened the closet door to investigate. She removed her shoes and the suitcases, from the bottom of the closet. And there in the far back corner of the closet, she discovered Homers deep dark secret.
For there, in the very back and darkest recesses of the closet was Homer’s secret hideout, finally revealed. Victoria discovered literally dozens of food wrappers, candy wrappers, mango skins, papaya skins, bones, and all sorts of other evidence of Homer’s stolen food escapades. HOMER WAS BUSTED!
Believe me, when I say that Homer was not happy with this turn of events, but there was nothing he could do about it. We were finally onto him. From that moment on the closet door was firmly shut and latched. It wasn’t much later before we discovered another secret stash of Homer’s under the bed, with a lot more evidence of stolen contraband, including an entire unopened tube of my Fixodent. Go figure.
Of course, Homer pretended that none of this was his, and he knew nothing about it. Obviously, we knew better, after all, who else could be doing all of this sneaky stealing? For the moment, we are in a state of doggie détente. But, more of this, and even more, in the next installment of, Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us.
Until next time,
As Always,
I Am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
“Dogs The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us”, is an original work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
If you want to contribute to the next installment of Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst us, go to the Contact Us page and fill out the contact form. I will email you instructions on where to send your submission and your dog’s photo.
