Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us! (Part 2)
In case you missed Part 1 of this continuing series you can read it here, Dogs Part 1
As I previously discussed in Part 1, of Dogs, The Four-Legged Spies Amongst Us, If you think you really know your dog, that faithful loving canine companion, then you have been deceived. Trust me, your dog is not who you think he or she is at all, Your canine companion is actually one of the greatest charlatans on the planet and right now is watching your every move. But why, and who are they reporting to?
In this installment, I am going to focus on how;
Dogs use humans as tools!
That’s right, as far as dogs are concerned, humans are nothing more than useful tools to be used to get whatever they want. That’s right humans are nothing more than stupid unwitting tools, no more important than a shovel, rake, or lawnmower. Every day we are at our dog’s beck and call. The worst part is we don’t even seem to notice, or even care.
Believe me when I say that what I am about to disclose to you may be shocking and I fully understand that your first thought is going to be, OH NO, this can’t possibly be true. I know it’s uncomfortable for you to hear the truth, but if you have the strength to keep reading, you too will be convinced. Please bear with me as this information is life changing, so please keep an open mind.
I have a dog and his name is Homer, at least that what I call him, what his real name is, I have no way of knowing. In case you forgot, this is Homer.
Homer
I first became aware of Homer’s real intentions some time ago. It was a whole bunch of little things, small things that at the time seemed totally insignificant. But as these little things started to add up, it came to me in a flash. I was not actually in charge, In reality, Homer was.
Let’s start with the most basic of your dog’s behavior and work our way up from there.
Your Dog enthusiastically licks your face because he is so very happy to see you, and loves you so very much. Right?
WRONG! Considering that 30 seconds before you got home your dog may very well have been licking his or, her own butt, the cat’s butt, or even the guinea pigs butt. As soon as you get home your dog feels obligated to enthusiastically lick your face like you have been gone for a year. Did you ever notice that funny odor on your dog’s breath? Now you know why.
Dog’s don’t lick your face because they are so happy to see you, they lick your face because they know you like it. You have just been conned, and you are blissfully unaware of it.
Snap out of it! Here’s an experiment you can try for yourselves. Trust me you will come around to my point of view after trying this in the privacy of your own home.
- You come home from a long day of work or shopping and what is the first thing your dog does? Why lick on the face of course. Just try to remember what he or she was licking right before you got home. Remember, what I said about that funky dog breath?
- Next, if you have a small dog pick them up. Or if you have a large dog, don’t let them off the couch or wherever. When they want to get down what do they do? That’s right, they lick you on the face until you relent, and let them go. Once again, you have been conned.
- Here’s another example. Your dog decides that it’s dinner time and you’re not moving fast enough for his or her liking. Think about it, you just spent 8 hours at work in another grueling day at the office and your faithful dog was home alone sleeping most of the day with short breaks for barking at the squirrels, innocent passersby, the mailman, licking the cat’s butt or whatever. So what’s a dog to do? Most dog’s alternate between running back and forth between their food bowl, and you. barking all the while. What happens if you don’t move fast enough? That’s right, they jump up and lick you on the face.
Dogs destroy things on purpose!
- Or here’s a classic psychological ploy that your loving dog uses to its advantage. You leave the house for a few minutes, and in the meantime, your dog purposefully chews up your shoes, the furniture, the new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, or whatever. You come home and discover the destruction. You scold your dog, and it looks remorseful for like a minute and then jumps up and start licking your face, and you just melt. Once again you have been conned.
Your Dog uses you as a tool to get what they want!
- And lastly, like most of us dog lovers, your dog has several toys. Of course, there are the stuffed toys with the squeaker inside that your dog has already surgically removed within the first two minutes. Good thing we don’t have a squeaker inside of us, or we would have already been eviscerated and the squeaker surgically removed without anesthesia.
Whether it be a stuffed squeaker toy or a ball, what happens when they end up under the couch where your dog can’t reach them? That’s right. Your dog runs back and forth between you and the offending piece of furniture as well as jumping up and licking you in the face. This only serves one purpose. Your dog is telling you to get your ass off the couch and get it’s freaking toy, and you do it willingly. You know I’m right!
Since I don’t want to cause you to go into information overload, I am going to end part 2 of Dogs, the four-legged spies amongst us, right here.
I want you to think about what you have learned and keep an open mind. Do your homework and pay attention. The truth of my words will become more apparent with each passing day.
We have already discussed in Part 1, how your dog watches your every move. Now is the time for you to start watching them with new eyes.
In the next installment of Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us, I will be discussing how; “Dogs Are Sneaky”. So stay tuned for more important information.
Until next time,
As Always,
I Am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
“Dogs The Four Legged Spies Amongst Us”, is an original work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
If you want to contribute to the next installment of Dogs, The Four Legged Spies Amongst us, go to the Contact Us page and fill out the contact form. I will email you instructions on where to send your submission and your dog’s photo.
Well, What do you think?