TOILET HORROR: Girl Hit With Flying Toilet On Way To School. Holy s–t! This kind of absurd incident could really flush your entire life straight down the toilet.
So, as the story goes , a young woman, a high school girl in Thorndike, Maine, was driving to school, styling in her shiny red jeep, when suddenly, BAM! she was struck with a port-a-potty. You heard me right, I am not making this up. Certainly, this is not something you would expect, or plan for, even in a worse case scenario.
You can smirk all you want, but seriously, how many of you have an emergency contingency plan for flying Port-A-Potties? Yeah, that’s exactly what I thought. So, if you want to know how to protect yourselves, stop smirking and keep reading.
You all know what a Port-A-Potty looks like, right? For those of you who don’t here’s a photo.
Port-A-Potty
I certainly have to admit that being Tom Dye, the Safety Guy, I always expect the unexpected, when you immerse yourself in the absurd, it just comes with the territory. But, honestly, the thought of being struck by a flying Port-A-Potty would be a stretch even for me. (Until now, that is).
I have to believe that this high school girl was absolutely mortified. After-all this incident happened right outside of the school parking lot. I would think that by no stretch of the imagination that being struck by a flying Port-A-Potty could be considered cool.
Thank God! the Port-A-Potty was empty and nobody was injured, neither the horrified young woman, or the errant Port-A-Potty. The young woman made an emotional 911 call to report the accident, and the Mount View School Resource Officer responded to the scene.
I am sure that not being injured will not even remotely mitigate the shame and horror this young women felt as he classmates looked on digital video rolling as she was suddenly assaulted with a flying Port-A-Potty.
I remember when I was in High School, I was always looking for a good laugh. I believe that most people are looking for a good laugh, as well as a good story to tell. Believe me when I say that there just some things in life that a person just can’t live down. This may very well be one of them.
Sometimes, an event happens in your life that follows you for years and years. When I was a kid in maybe 6th grade or so, we had a kid in our class from the neighborhood his name is Larry. Well Larry was quite a bit overweight. Larry was a mouthy kind of kid, he was actually pretty funny. One day Larry just happened to be wearing a green shirt, and was talking back in class like usual. The teacher just made one small off-hand comment to Larry to get his attention. The teacher called Larry “Butter-Bean”.
Just one small off the cuff comment and Larry’s life was changed forever. Seriously, from that moment on Larry is still known as “Butter Bean”. Like I said previously, some things in life, you just can’t live down. In retrospect, I am pretty sure that an outcast overweight kid being forever called, Butter Bean didn’t do a lot for Larry’s self-esteem. I sincerely hope that Larry did not grow up to become a serial killer or something worse.
I also distinctly remember the shame and horror that the outcast kids felt when the school bully’s would pant’s them, give them a wedgie, douse their crotches with water to make it looked like they peed their pants, or even very occasionally stuff someone into a locker. This was pretty harmless stuff in my days, not that this is any kind of excuse or justification for bullying, because it’s certainly not.
I have to say it was a lot easier in my days in school because we didn’t have the internet, YouTube, smart phones or anything like that. Since it was not recorded and distributed to virtually the entire world, the incident was soon forgotten.
Something tells me that suddenly being struck by an errant flying Port-A-Potty ranks right up there as one of the most humiliating and memorable events that could happen to anyone, anywhere. I certainly hope that when toilets attack that I am not one of their intended targets. Believe me when I say that for now on I am going to be a lot more vigilant. The chance of me ever using a Port-A-Potty again has just gone down rather substantially. I sincerely hope that this young woman doe’s not develop a case of Toilet Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (TPTSD).
If any of my readers know this young woman please encourage her to seek counseling right away. I wouldn’t want to see her emotionally scarred for life, all because of a flying Port-A-Potty.
This absurd incident started me thinking about what other type of accidents have happened previously that involved Port-A-Potty’s? Well, surprisingly there have been a lot of them. Here’s a small sample of what I found.
06-22-2011 – Bolder Colorado
Police in Boulder, Colorado were searching on Tuesday for a man who hid inside the tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival, startling a woman who was using the facility.
The bizarre incident happened June 17 at the Hanuman Yoga festival in Boulder, a college town northwest of Denver.
The woman, who was not identified by authorities, said when she lifted the toilet seat lid, she noticed something moving in the tank, according to a Boulder Police news release.
The woman exited the toilet and asked a man who was standing nearby to check inside. The man told police he saw someone inside the tank covered with a tarp.
An event security supervisor who was summoned to the scene waited for several minutes outside the toilet until a barefoot, shirtless man emerged.
“The supervisor tried to detain the suspect, but he ran away, covered in feces,” the release said.
07-02-2010 – West Palm Beach, Florida
Florida Woman Killed by Flying Port-A-Potty. In a tragedy that may result in the most tasteless Internet headlines ever, 38-year-old Floridian Dawn Johnston was killed by porta-pottie’s falling off the back of a truck that struck her car. Her passenger survived in serious condition.
Undated Video – Horrific Port-A-Potty Accident
I think it is safe to say that Port-A-Pottie’s are a far, far, more dangerous and insidious invention than we ever imagined. Something has got to be done about these obviously dangerous Port-A-Deathtraps before someone else get’s seriously injured or worse.
Seriously, anyone who has ever had to use a Port-A-Potty knows they smell really bad. This is probably not a serious health risk in itself, other than the revulsion factor. These things evidently fly off and kill people. The evidence is irrefutable, a Port-A-Potty killed a woman in Florida and attempted to kill a high school girl just recently.
As human beings, we deserve better than a really smelly plastic box that always seems to be out of toilet paper and hand sanitizer anyway. I am beginning to think that a better option would be to just go behind a tree, bush or shrubbery or whatever. How about the old style latrines that were used for decades? What was wrong with those? I am pretty sure that the toilet lobby convinced Congress that latrines were not a good idea for whatever bogus safety reason they could dream up. If you make your argument sound technical enough, with enough esoteric jargon thrown in, you can get plenty of pinhead politicians to buy into it, even if it makes virtually no sense at all.
So, because of that we now we have really smelly plastic boxes that periodically fly off and attack people.
Let’s all just put our foot down, right now and say enough is enough, we deserve better and we are not going to take it anymore. Are you with me?
I am going to leave you with a little something special. It is the famous scene from the 1976 movie “Network”. The really scary thing is 37 years later nothing has changed at all. It is really kind of sad actually, people are like cattle being driven to slaughter, we just all seem to peacefully accept it.
You do realize, we don’t have anyone else to blame other than ourselves. Since we were too timid or self-absorbed to act in our own best interest as a society, as fellow human beings, then I guess we deserve the really smelly plastic boxes and all the rest of the absurd nonsense we get served up everyday.
Think about it.
As always,
I am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
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