Sex In A Box Comes To Switzerland. This started me wondering, are the Swiss onto something here? What exactly is this sex in a box, that they speak of?
Logic tells us that there is only two types of sex in a box. The first being, blowup or life like dolls, that come in a box. I certainly hope that this is not that the Swiss had in mind. Not that there is anything wrong with these, to each their own. But seriously, this is a pretty lame substitute for a real woman. I highly doubt that the Swiss just discovered these, after all they have been advertized in the back of certain men’s publications for years, and years. No, This is not the sex in a box that recently came to Switzerland.
How about having sex inside a box? Now, this is where is where the Swiss may be onto something.
This brings back fond memories from when I was a kid. My parents would get a new stove or better yet, the holy grail of boxes, a new refrigerator. These big appliances used to come in huge cardboard boxes. I used to get these boxes and make forts, houses, cars, or whatever with them. If I was lucky enough to get a refrigerator box, the possibilities were endless.
These gigantic boxes from my childhood were the cardboard equivalent to the full sized vans, that guys used to have, and fix up in the late 1960’s and 1970’s. These vans featured a bed, shag carpeting, recess lighting, diamond tucked leather upholstery, curtains, refrigerators, and always had a killer sound system, as well as whatever else might be required for a bedroom on wheels.
Not that my childhood cardboard box was fixed up with anything like I mentioned above, just the opposite. In my imagination, my gigantic cardboard was all these things, and so much more.Unfortunately, I was too young to have sex in the box, or even consider sex anywhere for that matter. But, this started me thinking.
Now that I have grown up, I can see limitless possibilities for sex in a box. Just hear me out before you start laughing. I am fairly certain that you have not thought this through as thoroughly as I have. Trust me, this is going to be the very next, huge adult craze, don’t forget you read it here first.
All you need is a very large cardboard box, similar to the old refrigerator boxes. Place the box on it’s side. First you need to determine what type door you need; beaded, cloth roll-up, or standard swinging cardboard flap door. A standard full sized air mattress fits perfectly as a bed (Keep this put aside till the end.).
If you want lighting, inexpensive rope lights come in a variety of colors, and sizes and make perfect mood lighting. How about carpeting? small sized carpet remnants make great choices. I highly recommend shag.
Windows are strictly optional. You can cut standard cardboard flap windows, or make your own out windows out of plastic scraps. Make curtains, blinds, bars, or whatever window treatments you like.
Paint is optional. However, if you want to paint, standard latex wall paint put on with a roller is a very good choice. You should not need more then one quart of paint per color. You could even get real fancy and paint the ceiling flat black and place a bunch of glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.
Speakers for mood music is essential. I recommend those surround sound speakers like the kind made for laptops, etc. These are very inexpensive and small. You can place all four speakers inside the box as well as the sub-woofer. You can then connect the speakers to your laptop, phone, i-Pod etc. wherever you store your digital music collection.
Optional accessories may include: flat screen TV, ice chest, or cooler for drinks, beer, wine, champagne, wine opener, snacks, pictures for the walls, condoms, toys, ropes, or whatever else, you and your partner might enjoy together. Don’t forget the packing tape to assemble everything.
If you are lucky and have the floor space, and access to more then one of these very large boxes, you can get even more elaborate, you can use more then one box, and make your own cardboard sex McMansion, a literal sex palace.
Once you assemble, and decorate your sex box, however you like, you are ready for the most important thing, a willing partner to impress. Make sure that your partner is willing, and of legal age to participate.
There you are…Sex In A Box. Just imagine your own Private Idaho, your own piece of temporary cardboard paradise, your own fantasy world. You could make your very own sex box into whatever you, and your partner enjoy. I would think that your sex box should last for a month or six weeks, even with heavy use. Once your sex box wears out, remove all of the accessories, and fold it up, and place it out with the garbage. Acquire another box, and start all over again.
There you have it, Sex in a Box, I wonder why nobody thought of this sooner. If you have a sex box, or you build one soon. Send me pics of your sex box, and I will be happy to share them with the rest of my readers. We can even vote on the ones we like best.
As always,
I am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
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