Landlord’s Bizarre Excuse For Hiding Dead Body For Days. A pub landlord hid the body of a dead customer for four days so he would not miss the busy weekend trade.The pub/hotel owner found the body of a pub regular dead (from alcohol poisoning) in the men’s toilets on a Friday night at his pub, in South Wales.(UK)
OK, I am going to try to look at this from a point of view of someone who obviously does not suffer from the ravages of intelligence. So, let’s examine this gentlemen’s thought processes and motivation. Business has been slow, It’s Friday night, at closing he discovers the body of a regular customer in the men’s room. Now I think this would suck on any level, not only has one of your regulars died, he died inside your establishment. Keep in mind he has done nothing wrong, so far. He’s thinking that if he report’s it right away, the cops will come around and investigate. (You know how pesky those cops can be.) This could have a serious impact on his weekend business, which he seriously needs. This is a real moral and financial conundrum.
The pub owner get’s this bright idea to hide the body till Tuesday, so he gets his weekend business, then he can call the cops, and tell them he just found the dead guy. No harm, no foul. The guy is already dead. (The article never did explain why he couldn’t call the cops on Monday, Hmm.) (mistake No.1)
So what’s he to do? He’s got a great plan, He actually asks the bouncer to help move the body, the bouncer for some odd reason refuses. (mistake No. 2)
Finally, he asks a maid to help him move the body to one of the rooms, she apparently agrees, and assists him with moving the body. (mistake No.3)
For the next four days, the pub owner deflects the inquiries and concerns of the dead guys friends and family who inquired about the dead guys whereabouts. The pub owner actually told these concerned friends and relatives, that he had spoken to the dead guy recently, and that he was OK. Of course, he neglected to tell them that the guy had died, and was currently stashed in one of the rooms. (mistake No.4)
Well, apparently his half-baked plan began to fall apart (what a shocker!) He doe’s call those pesky cops on Tuesday, and tells them he found the dead guy in one of the rooms, so far so good. I am pretty sure he showed adequate shock and dismay at finding the dead guy.
Well, all good things come to an end. On the very day of the dead guys funeral, the maid (remember the maid) had been having nightmares, and felt guilty for her part in moving the dead guys body. She immediately went to those pesky cops, and told them the whole sordid story.
Of course, those pesky cops, being cops and all, investigated further, and of course all of the pub owners serious mistakes in his half-baked, stupid plan were uncovered with only minimal work by those same pesky cops. The pub owner was ultimately sentenced to 15 months in prison.
On a side note, if the pub owner had ever watched any of those CSI type crime dramas, he would have known that his entire plan was absurd.
As always,
I am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
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