HOPATCONG, N.J. – On November 16, 2016, BunnyMan, a.k.a. Kevin Hemmerich, entered the Hopatcong, N.J. Police Department to turn himself in for a warrant related to a traffic accident.
Let me make one perfectly clear, BunnyMan is not a nickname for Kevin Hemmerich. Kevin dresses up in an actual bunny costume.
This story was covered by dozens of local, national and international mainstream media outlets including; ABC, NBC, AP and a multitude of others. The strange thing is every single one of them repeated the story almost exactly word for word. So obviously, we are not being told the entire story.
As Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, I have done the deep digging to get to the real facts of the matter. In previously articles, I have warned you about the dangers of killer squirrels, the dangers of giant spiders, and even how dogs are the four-legged spies amongst us. However, the BunnyMan phenomena may well be the greatest threat to us all.
Lets first look at what the mainstream media reported. Allegedly, Keven Hemmerich dressed in a BunnyMan costume, entered the Hopatcong, N.J. Police Department armed with an air-horn and attempted to turn himself in because of a warrant regarding a traffic accident.
Upon entering the lobby of the Police Department and being totally ignored by the Police, BunnyMan proceeded to blow one of those compressed gas type air-horns to get some service. Good thing that BunnyMan just happened to have an air-horn in his possession because it worked. Talk about a great way to draw attention to one’s self.
OK, I will be the first to admit that BunnyMan was a little “over exuberant” in his judicious use of his air horn to get the attention of the Hopatcong Police. However, he sought to get attention, and he got it. In less than 90 seconds, a Hopatcong Police officer enters the lobby, gets right up in BunnyMans personal space and slapped BunnyMan right across the face. This horrific act of Police Brutality (0r animal cruelty?) was all caught on video by BunnyMan’s brother.
The Police officer, Nicholas Maresca Jr. was eventually charged with one count of simple assault. And this my friends is where literally every mainstream media outlet ended this story. Seriously? What’s f**king wrong with these so called, mainstream media News outlets? It’s no wonder they have lost all credibility with their readers.
So, after consulting with various experts around the country, I mean really intelligent people, all are involved in various academic disciplines and asking them the tough questions that you have come to expect from Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, I was still struggling for an answer.
After many, many, more hours of consultations, and days of exhaustive research, not to mention gallons of coffee, it suddenly came to me in a flash. I finally had the revelation I had been seeking all along.
This information I’m about to give you is really disturbing. There were only two logical conclusions that adequately describe this type behavior. Both scenarios are absurd, but only one truly fits all the facts.
My first thought was, (which by the way I am assigning a very low probability (<10%)) is that BunnyMan is actually trying to pull off the stunt as was first described by Arlo Guthrie in 1969 in his classic song, “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree”.
(If you have been in a coma for 40 years, or are from another planet, and are not familiar with “Alice’s Restaurant”. Just go to YouTube, and type it in.)
Forty-seven years ago, Arlo Guthrie described a way to get out of the draft. However, this technique could easily be adapted to several different scenarios. In part, Arlo wrote:
“Walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in, say, “Shrink, . . . you Can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant”, and walk out.
You know, if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he’s Really sick and they won’t take him”
Like I said, I did assign this first scenario a very, very, low probability. I am just trying to be totally transparent in my thought process here.
However, a much greater probability (>90%) is far more insidious, and a very scary prospect. Actually, this one really scares the crap out of me. Unfortunately, this is where the bulk of the evidence points to.
My conclusion is that we are only seeing the very tip of the iceberg. BunnyMan is only the first of many, soon to be hundreds, or even thousands, of reported cases of people acting erratically and dressing up as Bunnies, Dogs, Cats, Hamsters, or whatever animal meets their fancy.
What I see occurring here is that people are starting to experience a type of psychotic break with reality in response to the incredible stress of the events of 2016. This year was the most polarizing and stressful in modern times. It is almost too much to turn stress just to just to turn on the News because we know there will be another report of loss and destruction. For many of us, this is just too much to bear.
Think about it, in 2016, we lost some of the biggest artists of our time, David Bowie, Prince and many, many others. This was also the year of extreme political turmoil around the world, Brexit, Bernie Sanders, Hillary’s emails, Donald Trump, the refugee crisis, and not to mention the total collapse of the regular world order.
This massive upheaval and upending of our normal reality is obviously causing some people to revert to simpler ways of life as a coping mechanism. Think about it, some of us may find that reverting to the safe mentality of common animals such as bunnies, cats, dogs, or other kind and furry animals who do not suffer from human levels of stress, or the ravages of human intelligence is a very compelling option.
Mark my words! We are going to see this so called “BunnyMan” phenomenon play out more and more in the coming weeks and months, and there is nothing we can do about it. These poor souls do however need our help.
Just remember when you see these adults dressed up as kind furry animals don’t recoil in fear, or take pity on them. Just talk softly, scratch them behind the ears and tell them everything will be OK.
Eventually, this too shall pass, as all things eventually do. With our love and compassion, these poor BunnyMan will eventually be re-integrated into society along with their dog, cat and hampster companions.
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This News Commentary is an original work of satire, from Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
The original news story that inspired this article can be found — “HERE”.
Become a follower today and receive notifications of new content as soon as it’s posted.
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I believe that organized religion puts way too much burden on people with questions like; What is my purpose? What is my calling? At least for me, Just pondering these types of questions is a really weighty endeavor, and frankly, one that I don’t need to worry about. Life is hard enough with the COVID19 […]
Profound Revelations -Tales of the Absurd
BunnyMan Smackdown, Officer Charged With Assault!
By Tom Dye
On December 10, 2016
In News Commentary, Satire, Tales of the Absurd
BunnyMan Smackdown, Officer Charged With Assault!
HOPATCONG, N.J. – On November 16, 2016, BunnyMan, a.k.a. Kevin Hemmerich, entered the Hopatcong, N.J. Police Department to turn himself in for a warrant related to a traffic accident.
Let me make one perfectly clear, BunnyMan is not a nickname for Kevin Hemmerich. Kevin dresses up in an actual bunny costume.
This story was covered by dozens of local, national and international mainstream media outlets including; ABC, NBC, AP and a multitude of others. The strange thing is every single one of them repeated the story almost exactly word for word. So obviously, we are not being told the entire story.
As Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, I have done the deep digging to get to the real facts of the matter. In previously articles, I have warned you about the dangers of killer squirrels, the dangers of giant spiders, and even how dogs are the four-legged spies amongst us. However, the BunnyMan phenomena may well be the greatest threat to us all.
Lets first look at what the mainstream media reported. Allegedly, Keven Hemmerich dressed in a BunnyMan costume, entered the Hopatcong, N.J. Police Department armed with an air-horn and attempted to turn himself in because of a warrant regarding a traffic accident.
Upon entering the lobby of the Police Department and being totally ignored by the Police, BunnyMan proceeded to blow one of those compressed gas type air-horns to get some service. Good thing that BunnyMan just happened to have an air-horn in his possession because it worked. Talk about a great way to draw attention to one’s self.
OK, I will be the first to admit that BunnyMan was a little “over exuberant” in his judicious use of his air horn to get the attention of the Hopatcong Police. However, he sought to get attention, and he got it. In less than 90 seconds, a Hopatcong Police officer enters the lobby, gets right up in BunnyMans personal space and slapped BunnyMan right across the face. This horrific act of Police Brutality (0r animal cruelty?) was all caught on video by BunnyMan’s brother.
The Police officer, Nicholas Maresca Jr. was eventually charged with one count of simple assault. And this my friends is where literally every mainstream media outlet ended this story. Seriously? What’s f**king wrong with these so called, mainstream media News outlets? It’s no wonder they have lost all credibility with their readers.
So, after consulting with various experts around the country, I mean really intelligent people, all are involved in various academic disciplines and asking them the tough questions that you have come to expect from Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, I was still struggling for an answer.
After many, many, more hours of consultations, and days of exhaustive research, not to mention gallons of coffee, it suddenly came to me in a flash. I finally had the revelation I had been seeking all along.
This information I’m about to give you is really disturbing. There were only two logical conclusions that adequately describe this type behavior. Both scenarios are absurd, but only one truly fits all the facts.
My first thought was, (which by the way I am assigning a very low probability (<10%)) is that BunnyMan is actually trying to pull off the stunt as was first described by Arlo Guthrie in 1969 in his classic song, “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree”.
(If you have been in a coma for 40 years, or are from another planet, and are not familiar with “Alice’s Restaurant”. Just go to YouTube, and type it in.)
Forty-seven years ago, Arlo Guthrie described a way to get out of the draft. However, this technique could easily be adapted to several different scenarios. In part, Arlo wrote:
“Walk into the shrink wherever you are, just walk in, say, “Shrink, . . . you
Can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant”, and walk out.
You know, if one person, just one person, does it, they may think he’s
Really sick and they won’t take him”
Like I said, I did assign this first scenario a very, very, low probability. I am just trying to be totally transparent in my thought process here.
However, a much greater probability (>90%) is far more insidious, and a very scary prospect. Actually, this one really scares the crap out of me. Unfortunately, this is where the bulk of the evidence points to.
My conclusion is that we are only seeing the very tip of the iceberg. BunnyMan is only the first of many, soon to be hundreds, or even thousands, of reported cases of people acting erratically and dressing up as Bunnies, Dogs, Cats, Hamsters, or whatever animal meets their fancy.
What I see occurring here is that people are starting to experience a type of psychotic break with reality in response to the incredible stress of the events of 2016. This year was the most polarizing and stressful in modern times. It is almost too much to turn stress just to just to turn on the News because we know there will be another report of loss and destruction. For many of us, this is just too much to bear.
Think about it, in 2016, we lost some of the biggest artists of our time, David Bowie, Prince and many, many others. This was also the year of extreme political turmoil around the world, Brexit, Bernie Sanders, Hillary’s emails, Donald Trump, the refugee crisis, and not to mention the total collapse of the regular world order.
This massive upheaval and upending of our normal reality is obviously causing some people to revert to simpler ways of life as a coping mechanism. Think about it, some of us may find that reverting to the safe mentality of common animals such as bunnies, cats, dogs, or other kind and furry animals who do not suffer from human levels of stress, or the ravages of human intelligence is a very compelling option.
Mark my words! We are going to see this so called “BunnyMan” phenomenon play out more and more in the coming weeks and months, and there is nothing we can do about it. These poor souls do however need our help.
Just remember when you see these adults dressed up as kind furry animals don’t recoil in fear, or take pity on them. Just talk softly, scratch them behind the ears and tell them everything will be OK.
Eventually, this too shall pass, as all things eventually do. With our love and compassion, these poor BunnyMan will eventually be re-integrated into society along with their dog, cat and hampster companions.
As Always,
I Am…..
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This News Commentary is an original work of satire, from Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
The original news story that inspired this article can be found — “HERE”.
Become a follower today and receive notifications of new content as soon as it’s posted.
If you enjoy profoundrevelations.com, Please tell your friends, family, and co-workers. Post a link on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, share it by email, or shout it from the roof to unsuspecting passersby. Your support is genuinely appreciated.
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