This Article Is Literally About Nothing!
Astro-Physicists tell us that in the beginning there was literally nothing. Suddenly, the universe exploded into energy and light and became something. Nothing existed prior to that exact moment. This is what’s commonly known as the “Big Bang ” theory.
The problem is that not even Physicists can agree on the absolute definition of “nothing”. It’s probably safe to say that nothing is the complete absence of something.
I have a lot of experience with nothing, so obviously, I am an expert at nothing. So, now I am going to explain nothing, so everyone can understand nothing like I do.
Albert Einstein may have defined Special & General Relativity but I can assure you that Einstein or anybody else for that matter knows more about nothing than I do.
The basic concepts of nothing include:
- Nothing can neither be created or destroyed. You still end up with absolutely nothing.
- Nothing from nothing is still nothing.
- You may believe that you have something, but, in reality, it is still nothing.
- Something is just another facet of nothing.
- The power of nothing should never be underestimated.
Before I was conceived I was 100% nothing. I only became something due to my parent’s metaphorical “big bang”, From nothing, I suddenly became something.
From my earliest childhood, it didn’t take me long to realize that I actually instinctively understood a lot about nothing. My entire life I have had nothing on my mind. People ask me all the time, what are you thinking about? or what are you doing? I inevitably reply, nothing.
Like I said, my fascination with nothing started as a very young child. I used to imagine something was under my bed, or something was in my closet. But, when I finally got the courage to actually check for myself, I would look under the bed, or fling open the closet door, but every single time, nothing was there. From that point on I made it my life’s mission to understand nothing.
Nothing prepared me for how things would be when I began Kindergarten, Elementary school, Junior Hgh School, High School, College, etc. Of course, I didn’t listen to anything that anyone else had to say. Nobody knew nothing like I did. I finally thought that I was onto something, but ultimately, I finally realized that it was nothing.
When I started my chosen career path I finally knew almost nothing. But you know what, they hired me anyway, which means that I knew more than nothing at all.
I have had many times in life where all I had was nothing. Every time, I thought I had something, I would suddenly realize that I actually had nothing to show for it.
As I get older in life, I realize that nothing really matters. Sometimes, I have nothing to say, and that’s a good thing. Nothing, anyone says will sway my core beliefs. I began with nothing, became something, and I will certainly return to nothing at all.
Finally, when I have nothing but great memories to look back on. I will always cherish all the sweet nothings that I have had whispered in my ear over the years. Something tells me that nothing else matters. Nothing may someday be used against me. But you know what? Something tells me that I have nothing to fear.
If you embrace nothing at all, You might have everything or more than likely nothing at all. Only you can decide.
If you have nothing to say or nothing to share, then you have nothing to use against me, nothing at all.
Nothing else really matters.
Nothing says it better than this, but I will give it my best shot. You just spent several minutes of your reading about nothing and you still have nothing to show for it. Hopefully, you now know more about nothing than you did before you started and that would be really something.
As Always,
I Am…
Tom Dye, The Safety Guy
This essay is an original work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy.
