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Revenge of The Clowns And The New GOP Presidential Circus

Revenge of The Clowns, And The New GOP Presidential Circus!

The Barnum & Baily Circus may be ending its 124 year run in May 2017, but the circus isn’t over yet, not by a long run my friends. Due to unpopular demand, the circus has reformed and set up their big top in Washington, D.C. for an open-ended limited engagement in our nation’s capitol.

All New GOP Presidential Circus

OH!, and great news the elephants, and the amazing freak show are back as well. Tickets are on sale right now!

Let’s meet the brand new cast of characters. You will truly be horrified, thrilled, and amazed.

First, the Russian-GOP Circus has a brand new head clown. I am truly excited about this one.

First up, meet, Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Presidential Clown.

Braggadocious Blowhard Trump the Russian Clown

Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the Russian Clown – Is a former reality TV star and pretends to be a billionaire. He gives a somewhat erratic performance and has multiple routines which include; racist, xenophobic, bigoted, misogynistic, authoritarian, homophobic, rants and raves to the delight of the crowds.  What’s really hilarious, he also pretends to be in charge, and as an extra bonus, he has a very active, alternative facts, Twitter account.

Believe me, when I say that you will not be disappointed with his wacky rants coupled with his sixth-grade vocabulary, this is family fun at it’s best.  He is absolutely destined to be a crowd favourite. Personally, I believe his denial of the Russian collusion routine is especially entertaining.

Next meet, The Ring Master, Comrade Manafort

Ring Master Comrade Manafort

The Ring Master, Comrade Paul Manafort – Comrade Manafort has deep Russian ties and is responsible for getting the long-term booking of the GOP Circus to Washington, D.C. Comrade Manafort and his Russian pals helped Braggadocious Blowhard Trump, the new Russian-GOP Clown, and arranged for his long-term engagement in Washington, D.C. as well as the return of the elephants, and the freak show. On top ot that, Comrade Manafort also arranged for a brand new big top tent, the biggest, most beautiful big top tent ever built.

The Ringmaster, Comrade Paul Manafort, also has an amazing act where he launders piles of dirty money and makes it disappear it right before your eyes. It really is mind-boggling. Once again, it’s really good fun for the entire family.

Next Up, meet Comrade Stone, the Magnificant.

Comrade Stone the Magnificent

I can’t say enough about Comrade Stone The Magnificent’s act. He is another one from the Russian contingent of the Presidential GOP Circus. Comrade Stone the Magnificent is a mentalist. This guy tries to make you believe anything. He will attempt to make you believe that the sky is red, trees are blue, up is down, and down is up. He is truly amazing. Just beware that your sense of reality will be severely challenged after watching his act.  I will say that his act is probably inappropriate for the un-educated as well as small children.

And now for my favourite part of the GOP Presidential Circus, THE GOP PRESIDENTIAL CIRCUS FREAK SHOW. I love the freak show, it has been missing from the GOP Presidential Circus for years, but now it’s back. I am getting my tickets as soon as I can. I am not going to miss this. This is a once in a lifetime event.

Let’s meet the freak show, The Circus Barker, is Sean “The Lapdog” Spicer. This guy is one of my favourites.

Profound Revelations is proud to bring you exclusive video of one of his recent performances.

This is the ultimate in family entertainment.The GOP Presidential Circus couldn’t have picked a better Circus Barker than Sean, “The Lapdog” Spicer.  This guy calls it like it is, not matter how outrageous his statements may be.

And now for my absolute favourite member of the GOP Presidential Circus Freak Show. Meet Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway.

Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway

Kellyann “The Contortionist” Conway – is just like Wonder Woman, she can deflect anything and everything directed at her, watch her carefully as she twists and ties herself up in knots to avoid answering any question throws at her. Her performance is truly mind boggling.

Here’s another exclusive video from Profound Revelations that will give you a feel for just how awesome her act is.

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the return of the GOP Presidential Circus Elephants. There are a lot of Elephants in this new version of the GOP Presidential Circus.

GOP Elephants

There are many more characters, such as, Michael “Flim Flam” Flynn, Devin “The Collusionist” Nunes, and many others, but I don’t want to give away the entire secret of the GOP Presidential Circus.

Buy your tickets now as the GOP Presidential Circus full run is in doubt, as uncertain economic factors may force an early impeachment or mass resignations.

Unfortunately, the GOP Presidential Circus may have to close early, so buy your tickets right now, and don’t miss out on this amazing family fun, suitable for all ages, See the GOP Presidential Circus now before it closes, and is gone forever.

The Cast of the GOP Presidential Circus

 

As Always,

I Am…..

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

This article is a work of satire, and news commentary, by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy and is based upon personal opinion and published news stories. The names have not been changed and the innocent will be determined in a court of law.

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Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, Trump Edition, Or Else Insanity Is The New Normal

Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, Trump Edition, Or Else Insanity Is The New Normal.

A banker named David Hannum, in regard to one of Barnum’s hoaxes once said: “There is a sucker born every minute”.  And you know what, he was absolutely right. As it turns out all the misguided people who voted for Donald Trump are just finding that out.

I can understand how the uneducated, and uninformed, as well as those who worked in occupations like mining, steel, and others, felt that electing an outsider who promised to go to Washington and “drain the swamp”  would have a certain appeal. However, what they found out is draining the swamp leaves only a huge pile of shit.

The first red flag moment should have been when Trump filled his cabinet positions with millionaires and billionaires who have done nothing but spent their entire lives screwing the poor and middle class. The rest of his cabinet he filled with; Generals, incompetents and fools. Putting Ben Carson, the retired lunatic neurosurgeon in charge of the Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) is just one example.  Danger, Will Robinson, Danger, Danger!

Did this raise any alarm with Trump supporters? Nope! As a matter of fact I actually had a Trump supporter suggest to me that since these are the people who know how to game the system, these are the perfect choices to fix it. Really??? By that fuzzy logic, we should appoint a convicted bank robber, or even a Bernie Madoff type to be Secretary of the Treasury.

Of course, in between and during all this, Trump declared war on his own intelligence agencies and the mainstream media. I can see Trumps issues with his intelligence agencies as he has said on numerous occasions that he is smarter than the Generals and he has a very smart brain, and he alone knows how to defeat ISIS.

As for the war on the mainstream media, Trump attacks virtually every single news organisation that says anything that’s even remotely critical, or calls him out on his blatant falsehoods and lies that he spews out of his mouth every single day. Is this a rational human being? or is this someone who has become a victim of the body snatchers and is following their own alien agenda?

Did the Trump supporters care? Of course not! I mean Fuck the media and intelligence right?

Let’s not forget the tangled web of Russian connections. Mike Flynn the National Intelligence Advisor was even forced to step down because of them. Trump’s son-in-law and Flynn actually met with the Russian Ambassador at Trump tower, and yet Trump knows nothing about it. Most of Trumps high-level advisors during the campaign during the time that out intelligence agencies said that the Russians were actively interfering with our election met with high-level Russian officials both here and abroad.

Of course, Trump claims that he knows virtually nothing about it, and he did not authorize any communications with the Russians. Did this cause any Trump supporters any concern? Of course not.After all, it’s all fake news right?

Trump signed an executive action banning Muslims that caused chaos in airports worldwide. This was ultimately blocked by the courts as unconstitutional.  So what did Trump do, he just signed another one. Trump claims that this is not a discriminatory religious ban on Muslims. However, the courts used his own words and the statements of his advisors and cabinet officials that it actually was.

Trump is being schooled on the U.S. Constitution and basic civics by the courts. were Trump’s supporters concerned about this blatant attack on out constitution? Of course not! As a matter of fact, they enthusiastically supported it. Thank God for the ACLU and many others who fought for our civil rights as well as those of others.

In the middle of this like a long-buried WWII bomb suddenly expolding, Early on a Saturday morning, Trump tweeted that former President Obama had ordered Trump tower to be wire-tapped. He was not clear if Obama dressed in all black, crept around Trump tower and did it personally, or ordered it done by one of our intelligence agencies. Either way, these allegations exploded across the media like the bombshell that it was.

Trump offered no proof or evidence for these outrageous claims. If true this would be a far, far, bigger scandal that watergate. Accusing a former president of a serious felony with no proof or evidence is outrageous. Virtually every official involved in intellegence from the FBI Director, to Obama’s National Intellegence Director, to congress says emphatically that there is no evidence to support these claims. Did Trump back down or apologise? Nope.

Once this nonsense started blowing up in his face, he changed his tune and said that Obama actually asked the British Intelligence Agency GCHQ to wiretap Trump tower for him. What??? What the fuck is he talking about?

Maybe it went down something like this:

Ring, Ring, Ring…
GCHQ, Simon speaking,
Obama: Simon, it’s Barack I need a favor.
GCHQ; Anything for you old chap, what do you need?
Obama: I need you to wiretap that sleze Donald Trump and Trump Tower in Ney York City.
GCHQ: No problem. I assume this is on the QT?
Obama: You got it.Send me reports on my personal cell.
GCHQ: No problem old chap we will get back to you soon.
Obama: Thanks, Simon I owe you one.

SOUND ABSURD? OF COURSE, IT IS. IT”S FUCKING INSANE!!!!!

When trump was asked about this, he responded,

“We said nothing,” he told the reporter. “All we did was quote a certain very talented legal mind who was the one responsible for saying that on television. I didn’t make an opinion on it. That was a statement made by a very talented lawyer on Fox. So you shouldn’t be talking to me, you should be talking to Fox.”

WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT ANSWER IS THIS? OBVIOUSLY, TRUMP’S INTELLIGENCE SOURCES ARE FOX NEWS, BREITBART, AND ALEX JONES.

Evidently, the CIA, NSA, DIA, FBI, State Department, etc. are not as reliable as far as he’s concerned.

Were Trump supporters concerned? Of course not.

Trump

I would be extremely remiss if I didn’t mention Trump’s Counceller, Kellyann Conway and Trump’s Press Secretary Sean Spicer. First up, Kellyann Conway. She is the lunatic who coined the term; “alternative facts”  evidently it’s not lying if you call them alternative facts. Kellyann Conway used so many alternative facts that virtually every single mainstream news media refused to have her on their programs. I am fairly certain that she is one of the pod people, as her view on reality is certainly other-worldly. The funny thing is when I was a child, my parents would wash my mouth out with soap for lying. Too bad, I

The funny thing is when I was a child, my parents would wash my mouth out with soap for lying. Too bad, I didn’t know about alternative facts then. I may have gotten away with it.

Sean Spicer, the Whitehouse press Secretary is another winner. He comes out in front of a big crowd of journalists almost every day and spews lies and falsehoods. Spicer actually has the ability to say this with a perfectly straight face. No human being has the ability to do this day in and day out and never crack.

Spicer without his human looking artificial skin

There is only one plausible explanation for this. Sean Spicer is a humanoid robot. As a matter of fact have you ever noticed that Sean Spicer is never seen without the podium in front of him?  Think about that for a moment. I believe that the podium holds the power supplies, micro-processors and wires and cables that control this animatronic.

If you listen to his rants carefully it doesn’t take long to realise that he is nothing more than a computer program. Anytime he is presented with facts or reality, he pauses for a moment as his computer brain has just been presented with a; “bad command or file name that doe’s not compute” a moment later he defaults to one of his pre-programmed responses in an attempt to spin an entirely different reality.

Doe’s this concern Trump supporters? Nope. They buy into it hook, line, and sinker.

Can you believe it, all this happened during Trump’s first 60 days in office.

And then in rapid succession, Trump introduced the Ryan/Trump healthcare plan to replace Obamacare and his budget proposal for the next fiscal year. All of a sudden reality, remember reality? came crashing back in with a vengeance.

Sure Trump supporters thought is was all fun and games until somebody got hurt. They suddenly realised that the people getting hurt were Trump supporters themselves. Suddenly, trump had turned on those who supported them. All the red meat that Trump had been feeding his supporters turned out to be rotten and poisoned.

Trump Supporters

Trump played all his supporters who do not suffer from the ravages of intelligence and basically threw all of them under the bus. All of a sudden Trump supporters do care, but now it’s too late. They have all come to the sudden realisation that you have to be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Well, they got it. We tried to warn the poor incompetent fools, but they didn’t listen.

The Ryan/Trump healthcare plan will throw 17-24 million people out of affordable healthcare, and drastically raise the cost of healthcare insurance premiums. The plan also eliminates the Medicaid expansion which will mostly affect the States and the very people who voted for him.  Are Trump supporters concerned about this? All of a sudden, they do now.

Trump’s new budget proposal would dramatically slash funding for critical social programs that Trump supporters rely on.

Eliminating the funding for Meals-on-Wheels which is 1/3 of their budget. Meals-on-Wheels feeds one healthy meal per day to low-income seniors, veterans and the disabled. According to Trumps plan, fuck the seniors and disabled, they have been a big enough drain on the rest of us already.

His budget would dramatically cut back on school lunches for the poor,  assistance to pay heating bills for the poor, eliminate funding for PBS and NPR, cut funds for jb training and so much more.

Per New York Magazine, “The president’s budget cuts funding for early-childhood education, public housing, transit, food assistance, and job training — all programs that disproportionately benefit single mothers in cities with low median incomes. And it also abolishes the Appalachian Regional Commission and Rural Business-Cooperative Service, while shrinking the Labor Department — all moves that disadvantage coal miners”. Wow! Trump supporters are definately fucked now.

Here’s a sincere message to all you Trump supporters, even though you drank the kool-aid and were all duped by a con-man, all of us 2.88 million more who did not vote for this minority elected President are working hard to undo the damage you have done. The Resistance, as we are called welcome you to the good fight, and together we can reverse this abomination that you have caused.

Together, we can and will remove the invasion of the body snatchers and restore truth and justice back to our democracy. We will not allow lying to become the new normal, nor will we allow the elderly, poor and disabled to suffer the brunt of Trump’s dark dystopian vision of America.

Regretful Trump Supporter

Gil Scott-Heron once sang about how; “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” Well this time around it is. We of the Resistance are not only fighting for ourselves, but for all those who were duped by Trump the con-man, and everyone else. Denounce Trump and join us.  Together we can make a better world for both me and you.

I am going to leave you with this final thought…

Welcome to THE RESISTANCE.

 

As Always,

I Am…..

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

 

This article is a work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy, ans is based on actual news events. Become a subscriber today, it’s totally free. You will be the first to be informed when new articles are posted. profoundrevelations.com is grateful for your continued support.

The Complete Guide On How To Create Your Own Alternative Facts For Fun & Profit

The Complete Guide On How To Create Your Own Alternative Facts For Fun & Profit

This tutorial will have you on way creating your own “Alternative Facts” in no time, and never be accused of lying again.

Part One – The History of Alternative Facts

The term “alternative facts” was first coined by Kellyanne Conway, President Trump’s Counselor to the President on NBC’s, Meet The Press with Chuck Todd.

Kellyanne Conway

After being grilled by Chuck Todd on Trump’s Press Secretary lying about the size of the inauguration crowd. Spicer, and Trump insisted on Saturday that the crowds were the biggest ever and, even commented that the crowds went all the way back to the Washington Monument.

Spicer went on to claim that this was the biggest audience to ever witness an inauguration – Period – both in person and around the globe. These statements, as well as many others, caused a huge uproar with the media. 

The problem was, these statements were demonstrably false, as well as easily verifiable. The evidence was clear not only from photographs taken during the inauguration but D.C. Metro ride numbers as well.Most of Spicers, other statements were blatantly false as well. 

Nothing special about that right? Enter Kellyanne Conway, the creator of the alternative facts narrative. Conway was a guest on Meet The Press with Chuck Todd on January 22, 2016. This was the moment that the alternative facts narrative was born.

Conway skillfully used every tool in her arsenal and successfully deflected every single question while creating an entirely new narrative or alternate facts to support her case.

These are the skills and techniques that you are going to learn in this complete guide to creating successful alternative facts that you can use for not only fun but profit as well. I strongly suggest that you pay close attention to the master at work.

As you noticed, as Chuck Todd accused Kellyanne Conway of lying, Conway fired back, deflected every question and finally ended with a veiled threat against the media and stated that Spicer was just giving “Alternative Facts” in regards to the crowd size.This was genius.

Part Two – What Are Alternative Facts?

In order for you to use “Alternative Facts” correctly and with conviction you need to understand the word definitions.

According to the dictionary, the words can be defined as:

Alternativea choice limited to one of two or more possibilities

Facts – a truth known by actual experience or observation; something known to be true

You see, you now we have a way to not let those pesky facts get in the way of your own reality. This guide will teach you how to create your own”Alternative Facts” and never be accused of lying again.

Part Three – How to use Alternative Facts to your advantage in your personal and work life.

There are certain key rules for “Alternative Facts” that must be adhered to in order for you to successfully create your own fact-free reality:

  1. No matter what the actual facts are, whether it be video, audio recordings, historical records or even what others can actually see or hear for themselves, once you claim “Alternative Facts” you can never, ever walk back on your alternative fact claims, not now, not ever. Doing so would severely damage your credibility.
  2. Repetition is critically important, I can’t stress this enough. The more you repeat your alternative facts, the more they intrude into the reality of others. Eventually, your alternative facts are everyone else’s facts as well.
  3. If anyone, ever challenges you on your alternative facts whether it is the media, coworkers, friends, family, etc. IMMEDIATELY GO ON THE ATTACK! Accuse them of bias, disrespect, ignorance; threaten retaliation, whatever it takes. Deflect every question they ask no matter how reasonable or rational it may be. Do not listen! Shut down the person challenging your alternative facts, and walk away.  Mock outrage is also an extremely useful deflective tool; however, it is also extremely difficult to master.
  4. Find others who agree with your alternative facts. It is always easier in the alternative universe when others agree with you and who are willing to back you up. As the old adage goes, there is safety in numbers. The internet and especially Facebook, can be quite useful in recruiting like-minded allies. Use these allies to your advantage. Note: It is always important to remember, that if you can adjust your alternative facts narrative closer to conspiracy theory territory, you will maximize your alternative fact believer, which of course creates maximum impact as well as mass credibility.
  5. Always remember that you have to absolutely believe that you are right and everybody else is wrong. That is unless they agree with you of course.
  6. Practice. Practice, Practice. I highly recommend that you watch Donald Trump and Kellyanne Conway in action. There is lots of video of both of them in action. Attacking, deflecting and of course their judicious use of alternative facts.

For those of you willing to practice advanced deflection techniques such as mock outrage, I highly recommend Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz videos from the 2016 Republican debates. Just be forewarned Ted Cruz is a master at mock outrage and very few others have the ability to rise to his level of ability.  

Note: I would begin first with Marco Rubio videos as he is at an intermediate skill level for mock outrage. if you master that then move up to the Ted Cruze master class mock outrage.

Part Four – What Alternative Facts are not.

I have been asked by several people, “Isn’t “Plausible Deniability” the same as Alternative Facts?

That’s a very good question and the simple answer is no. Plausible deniability is an entirely different tool altogether. However, in some extremely advanced uses, both may be used together to spin a plausible narrative.

Per Wikipedia, Plausible Deniability is defined as:

The ability for persons (typically senior officials in a formal or informal chain of command) to deny knowledge of or responsibility for any damnable actions committed by others (usually subordinates in an organizational hierarchy) because of a lack of evidence that can confirm their participation, even if they were personally involved in or at least willfully ignorant of the actions. In the case that illegal or otherwise disreputable and unpopular activities become public, high-ranking officials may deny any awareness of such acts in order to insulate themselves and shift blame onto the agents who carried out the acts, as they are confident that their doubters will be unable to prove otherwise. The lack of evidence to the contrary ostensibly makes the denial plausible, that is, credible, although sometimes it merely makes it unactionable. The term typically implies forethought, such as intentionally setting up the conditions to plausibly avoid responsibility for one’s (future) actions or knowledge. In some organizations, legal doctrines such as command responsibility exist to hold major parties responsible for the actions of subordinates involved in heinous acts and nullify any legal protection that their denial of involvement would carry”

As you can clearly see, Plausible Deniability is a very important tool, especially if you are a politician, career civil servant, diplomat, high-ranking member of the military, or high-level corporate executive. This is also a very advanced tool to use, and if used correctly, nobody knows or suspects that it was ever used at all.

By itself, Plausible Deniability is a somewhat limited purpose tool. However, those who are expert at both, alternative facts and plausible deniability, are extremely successful in their fields of expertise.

You are far better off just sticking to alternative facts as it’s a far more useful multi-purpose tool that you can use every day and get great results.

 

As Always

I Am…..

Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

This news commentary is an original work of satire by Tom Dye, The Safety Guy

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