Spring Breaker Pees On Cop’s Sandwich.  Once again, this absurd incident happened right here in the great weird State of Florida. I will never, ever, run out of great material right here in Florida, especially during Spring Break. OK, that being said, let’s get right into today’s story…

You know they say that today’s youth are tomorrows leaders. If that’s the case, may God help us all. Don’t get me wrong, I also did a lot of stupid things while growing up. However, I was never arrested for anything, ever, at anytime.

You see, I have always had this aversion to getting arrested and going to jail. I have always believed that I didn’t have to experience some things on life personally, to know that this is not the kind of thing I need to experience first hand. Getting arrested, especially for something stupid, is definitely one of those experiences that I have determined that I can live without knowing first hand.

So here’s a guy, Chris, one of America’s upstanding future leaders who along with a couple of his friends decided to start breaking empty beer bottles, at a Florida beach resort at 2:00 AM. Talk about drawing attention to yourselves. Of course, because of these three numb-nuts, dumba-s actions the Police were called. Really! what did these drunk halfwits think was going to happen? Let’s see, start breaking beer bottles, at a beach resort, during spring break, at two in the morning = Law Enforcement arriving shortly thereafter.

Remember these guys are the future leaders of America. They obviously must be Tea Party type, conservative Republications, No respectable liberal Democrat’s would ever even think about doing anything this f–king asinine.

So, the Police arrive, and place one of the suspects, Chris into the back of his patrol car for his own safety, while he questions the other two of America’s future leaders. As you may have guessed, this was a serious mistake on the Police Officer’s part.

Our hero, Chris, responded to this automobile incarceration, by using the only method available to him by banging his head against the Police car’s window bars and threatening to pee inside the Cop’s car, and in turn, all over himself.

Before the Officer could react, Chris, proceeded to whip it out and precision urinate through the car’s security cage, and into, and all over, the deputy’s personal items, including his cellphone, water bottles, and his lunch bag.

I am pretty certain that this future leader of America learned a valuable lesson on exactly what not to do. I am also certain that his two buddies, most likely learned by living vicariously through Chris, that this was a mistake that they didn’t want to experience personally. Since there wasn’t anything in the original report, I assume that the other two guys learned from Chris’s example and decided not to pee on the Cop’s personal belongings. Just maybe these two accomplices may still have a chance to redeem themselves in life. I guess only time will tell for sure.

Our hero, Chris, was ultimately arrested with resisting arrest without violence. I bet that the Cop most likely used some violence on Chris, when he discovered that Chris had pissed all over his cell phone, water bottles, and lunch. I mean seriously, what would you do if you were the Cop?

Well Chris, now that you have pretty much crossed yourself off the list of the future leaders of America, I am pretty sure that your job prospects have dimmed considerably. I am pretty certain that you may still be able to go far in the food service or hotel industries.

As always, 

I am…

Tom Dye, The Safety GuyBecome a follower today and receive notifications of new content, as soon as it’s posted.If you enjoy this blog, Please tell your friends, family and co-workers. Post a link on Facebook,, Twitter, Google+, share it by email, or shout it from the rooftops, to unsuspecting passersby. Your support is genuinely appreciated.

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