Revelations

Revelations – is a periodic series of original stories and essays, from the eclectic mind of Tom Dye the Safety Guy

One Sided Towels I Just Don’t Understand Them!

We have a bunch of one sided towels. You know, towels like you wash your face, hands and body with. Yes, in our household we have a variety of sizes and colors. What I mean is these are poor imitations of real cotton terry cloth towels except one side is the normal cotton terry type material and the opposite side is smooth.

My fiancée is always extolling the virtues of these particular towels. She really likes them and to an extent I can kind of see her point. Her argument is they are expensive (at least more expensive then normal towels) and they are Italian made, the colors are nice and they have really nice embossed designs on the smooth side. Granted she is correct about one thing, the regular side is very absorbent. However, my issue is not with any of the above. Let’s face it, the towel only has one usable side.

Maybe I’m just old school. Maybe I just like variety in my towels, maybe I might like to use the other side or not, but at least the option is there. I’m just going to say it outright; towels should be two sided like they always were for years and years.

Two sided towels on the other hand have very useful properties. The first and most important one that comes to mind is the cover-up. For an example, I must be some kind of dirt magnet. I can carefully wash my hands and without fail as soon as I touch the towel, the towel turns black with dirt. Understandably this does not make my fiancée very happy. I usually try to blame it on one of the dogs but she doesn’t buy it. Now, with two sided towels you can just fold it the other way and no one is the wiser. Thus the cover up. With one sided towels the cover up is just not possible.

Let’s look at the economics of towels, aren’t we really only getting half of what we paid for? Seriously, I think this just a marketing ploy to get us to pay more for half the absorbency. Maybe some factory had a bunch of defective terry cloth that only had only one side, and figured out a way to unload it on the rest of us. After all with a good marketing plan they can just make us believe that we just can’t live without one sided towels.

Or maybe, GOD FORBID, we are slowly losing the technology to manufacture two sided towels. Now that’s truly a horrifying thought. Mankind has been perfecting the technology for the perfect fluffy, somewhat scratchy two sided towel for centuries. Now we may just be on the verge of losing everything. I think just to be on the safe side I am going to keep all my old ragged two sided towels just in case. You can laugh now, but when you can’t get your regular old fashioned two sided towels anymore I will be sitting on a very valuable commodity, and we all know how supply and demand works don’t we?

Before this whole thing gets out of hand we need to rise up and prevent one sided towels from spreading like the cancer they are, and don’t be fooled, one sided towels are a cancer that needs to be eradicated from the face of the earth before it’s too late.

Start a petition drive, write your politicians, boycott stores that sell one sided towels. I implore you stop them before it’s too late, and our regular, old -fashioned , somewhat scratchy, extra absorbent, two sided towels go the way of the dinosaurs.

Are you with me? let me know.

As always,